To feel weird about buying pre worn clothes

[unikitty08]

DC is starting nursery next month.

A few friends have told me how messy his clothes are going to get and not to send him in anything expensive.

I was talking to one friend about buying him a puddle suit and she recommended ebay.

She told me she buys a lot of her daughters clothes (especially for nursery) in bundles and they are “pre loved”

I was surprised about this as her daughter is always dressed in Next, Zara, Gap. Brands I would consider to be that bit more pricey.

When I was growing up, to buy second hand or use charity shops etc was a big no no.
It was viewed as though you didn’t have money or couldn’t afford nice things.

I don’t have this view of other people, particularly not now as an adult, but I do have this view of myself if I were to buy pre worn clothes.

I’ve had a look at some clothes bundles this evening and I’m shocked at some of the lovely things I could get, the puddle suit id seen for nursery, which brand new is £35, I can get pre worn worn for £5!

I don’t think I can bring myself to buy pre worn though, I feel weird about it, like I’m “hard up” or
a bit trampy.

I feel really envious now of the people that clothes shop this way, it would save me a fortune!

How can I get past my weird feelings?

Also you claim not knowing buying used clothing was better for the env. You are ignorant or a troll.

Bought my 9 year old loads of bundles off EBay including a few Youtuber items from Sidemen, DanDTM and JacksepticEye, and all his friends keep asking where he got them from. All of this would of cost a fortune brand new, my son loves them and that's all that matter to me.

I get what the ops saying, when I grew up, hand me downs were seen as normal. Because they were within a family, but going to charity shops to buy your clothes was seen as something you only did if you were really poor and couldn’t afford new clothes. There was defintely a stigma. The internet wasn’t a widespread thing then. The wealthy were defintely not buying their clothes in charity shops. Which were full of some tat and nothing well displayed, it was just racks of obviously worn clothes.

I think with the advent of eBay and the term “pre loved” or “vintage” , second hand clothes have become much more the norm, particularly for children, and as everyone says, whose to know. I don’t think there is any stigma associated with second hand now.

I would have bought charity shop, and second hand clothes for my children when they were youngies, but it was in the 7O' era. and no charity shops or ebay etc in those days. Instead, my son was first born, and then when my daughter followed later, she wore a lot of hand me down boys things for some while. Children's clothes were never an issue with me, they just need to look clean,and neat and tidy going to school.

I don't understand why it makes a difference who has worn it.

You buy something, your DC wears it, it gets washed.

You buy something someone else's DC has worn and it's been washed.

It's the same thing

But I know it's about stigma more than logic. I don't know how to overcome it - maybe just do it a few times and see?

Just think about it as being environmentally conscious instead. Rather than perfectly good things going to landfill they are being used.

The best way to get over it is to buy that puddlesuit. Put it on your son and notice how it looks exactly the same as a brand new one. Then buy yourself or him something with the additional £30 that you have saved.

If that doesn't work, then it's only cost you a fiver and you could probably sell the item on for £5 when you're finished making it free.

My daughters wear about 50% preloved clothes. We also have plenty of other things second hand - toys, highchair, books, even cloth nappies! It means they can wear and have much nicer stuff than if we were buying new, and we have more money leftover for other things. They always look lovely and its better for the environment. Really there are no downsides.

If you decide not to buy preloved, that's up to you. Someone has to buy new to fuel the secondhand market. But please consider selling your sons clothes when he is finished with them.

I buy clothes from eBay for my kids in bundles. I like feeling like I'm helping out by re using rather than endless clothes being thrown away, also saves loads of cash 😂😂I got dd2 some really lovely next clothes the other week, they're in perfect condition. I also sell on eBay too and people always buy the kids clothes I re sell on x

I worked for a while last year in a recycled goods shop at the resource recovery park. You would be surprised at the people who bought second hand stuff - many of them I knew were quite wealthy.

Why pay full price for new things which you can get for a pittance pre-loved? Some of the children's clothing at the place I worked looked like they had been worn once, if at all. I've got to the stage now where I object to paying full price for clothing/goods, and as others have said it's better for the environment to recycle goods rather than send them to the landfill. You really are being a bit silly.

Showing your age op Thrift shop and vintage clothes shopping a big thing with teens atm 😁. My two raided our wardrobe and wear dh and my old university sports kit - vintage apparently. Don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted!

I buy a mixture of new and second hand clothes for my children. I always pass on their outgrown clothes. My niece benefits wonderfully from nearly new next items!

Children outgrow clothes so fast, sometimes they’re barely worn.

And really, they get completely trashed at nursery.

You’re being ridiculously unreasonable.

Think of kids in poor countries having to pick cotton or work in sweatshops and suddenly the appeal of new clothes will be much less.

I’m really surprised at this, although appreciate that I grew up in a well-off family so have never had that kind of stigma.

The rate at which children grow out of clothes and shoes, it makes no sense to always buy new. Between six months and a year, DS could be wearing things for merely weeks before they no longer fitted after a growth spurt. Throwing the clothes away would be ridiculous, they were in perfect condition.

With some clothes, I have bought second hand in very good condition, had both my children wear them, and then sold them on afterwards as "playwear" (ie still wearable but not as best).

I was surprised about this as her daughter is always dressed in Next, Zara, Gap. Brands I would consider to be that bit more pricey.

When I was growing up, to buy second hand or use charity shops etc was a big no no.
It was viewed as though you didn’t have money or couldn’t afford nice things*

Read those backwards and you'll see its a way to have nice things you couldn't otherwise afford

Things like puddlesuits and jumpsuits only fit children for such a short time because the second they grow an inch in their body the thing doesn’t fit anymore. (Unlike a tshirt that may still fit on the shoulders and just be a little shorter at the waist so you still get a lot of wear out if it.

Get the second hand puddle suit. Let your child wear it and have fun in it.
You’ll be reselling it on eBay really soon and I’ll bet it still looks just as good as when you got it.

Put the £30 you’ve saved in a bank account for your child for the future.

How can I get past my weird feelings?

You already are, by accepting it was a stigma given to you as a child.

Times have changed.

Tans used to be 'common', then they became a sign of wealth, then they fell out of fashion.

White bread used to be associated with high status, now it is associated with bad diets.

My father thinks using a bus is common, but one of my children was called 'posh' when he said in class we didn't have a car.

It wouldn't occur to me to worry what other people think of me. Secondhand clothes save me money and save resources. I love charity shops. If other people want to spend £10 on something I can get for £1, that's their choice.

OP, I can see how hygiene might once have been a problem with 2nd hand clothes, but it's not the case now. Even pre-loved shoes are cleaned and disinfected before being put out for sale.

FWIW, where I live Melbourne, Australia there's long been an ongoing competition for op-shoppers seeking the best finds. "I got this at the Salvos for $5." "Yeah? I got this at Camberwell Market for $1!". My DD, 13, tells me op-shop "old man's clothes" are now the fashion for teenage boys.Everyone is trying to outdo everyone else in the sustainability stakes.

So be cool, OP, grab a bargain for your baby and save your money for the killers to come -- education and the deposit on the first flat!

It’s possible that because you’ve grown up in poverty you’re much more conscious of being seen to be affluent. Posh people genuinely couldn’t give a shit what people think of their clothes. Their kids run around quite happily in hand me downs, often pretty threadbare or with holes. As long as they’re warm and cleanish who cares?

My eldest gets most his clothes from a friends older son, (who often gets it from their cousin) my eldest wears it, then attic, then youngest wears it and then their cousin does. Don’t feel trampy at all thank you. In fact I don’t feel like a mug spending 1000s on clothes just so that they haven't been worn by another.

It’s weird how often a thread about bashing second hand clothes comes up.... and disappears as quickly as it arrived!

75% of my son's clothes are second hand. Did you hear about the environmental crisis? That alone should motivate you to do everything you can to make a gentle impact on our earth.

Can I recommend the Stacey Dooley documentary on the fashion industry and making clothes for a vote of reality on how resource heavy the clothing industry is.
I second this recommendation, its a real eye opener.

The fashion industry is second only to oil in terms of impact on the environment. Nearly all my children’s clothes are second (or third or fourth) hand. I buy brands that are ethically produced, and that I couldn’t afford if they were new. I have never once looked at a child and considered whether their clothes are new or not, or thought they looked “trampy”. No one could possibly be remotely interested in what your kid is wearing, surely?