To feel weird about buying pre worn clothes

[unikitty08]

DC is starting nursery next month.

A few friends have told me how messy his clothes are going to get and not to send him in anything expensive.

I was talking to one friend about buying him a puddle suit and she recommended ebay.

She told me she buys a lot of her daughters clothes (especially for nursery) in bundles and they are “pre loved”

I was surprised about this as her daughter is always dressed in Next, Zara, Gap. Brands I would consider to be that bit more pricey.

When I was growing up, to buy second hand or use charity shops etc was a big no no.
It was viewed as though you didn’t have money or couldn’t afford nice things.

I don’t have this view of other people, particularly not now as an adult, but I do have this view of myself if I were to buy pre worn clothes.

I’ve had a look at some clothes bundles this evening and I’m shocked at some of the lovely things I could get, the puddle suit id seen for nursery, which brand new is £35, I can get pre worn worn for £5!

I don’t think I can bring myself to buy pre worn though, I feel weird about it, like I’m “hard up” or
a bit trampy.

I feel really envious now of the people that clothes shop this way, it would save me a fortune!

How can I get past my weird feelings?

Well we must be trampy @unikitty08 bit no way would I buy brand new clothes for each child and then throw them into landfill.

Can I recommend the Stacey Dooley documentary on the fashion industry and making clothes for a vote of reality on how resource heavy the clothing industry is.

I have always bought from charity shops - never had enough funds to buy new clothes - decent clothes etc - founds lots of nice designer stuff in my local charity shops - they just need a good wash thats all!

We can afford new clothes for DD but I still buy second hand clothes etc and would accept hand me downs from friends because it is better for the environment. And I do the same thing with her clothes, I always pass it down to someone. Kids outgrow their clothes so quickly and especially my DD who has got a strong preference of what she wants to wear (and changes quite often, say in 2 weeks), it starts to get expensive. And also just think about all those clothes going into landfill or the resources required to produce more clothes!

I come from a very working class background, and we always loved charity shop shopping. The clothes were always in great condition and from shops that likely wouldn't have been affordable for my parents. Even now, although I can afford to shop in the "real" shops I don't 90% of the time. I love charity shops, eBay, and vintage markets. Save a fortune and often find amazing outfits that I won't see on everyone else!

Better for the purse, better for the environment, and so much more fun. I can't wait to be able to go on a charity shop tour again!

@SandlakeRd I'm caring for my 15 year old nephew at present. He wears brands like Pretty Green and Henry Lloyd, all from eBay. He recently got a Parka that cost £160 new for £20. He loves a bargain.

Instagram mums have a vested interest in pushing new products and a certain lifestyle
It is their wannabe mc followers buying the lifestyle up.
It is the poorer parents pushing the spending frenzy
Hmm I don't think so they can't afford a designer €600 nappy bag or a bugaboo fox 2 on benefits.
I know ppl think benefits are generous but c'mon 🙄

Same era! Hand me downs were never an issue. Charity shops were!
That's true in my time too. If DM was going to the market it was in secret.
We always had hand downs.

@unikitty08 do you bin am her outgrown clothes too?

My children were dressed almost entirely from the RAF Thrift shop on camp... beautiful stuff at a fraction of the price new, plus hand downs from their cousins.
It set them in good stead.., all are bargain hunters now. DD2 is expecting her first baby and has got everything second hand..pram, clothes, reuseable nappies... and I'm proud of her. Much better enrivomentally and kids grow!
Got myself a stunning long country tweed coat off ebay recently for under £100.. would have been £400 new.....it is immaculate!

Thinking about it, today I was wearing 'preloved' jeans and top.. White Stuff and I paid about £15 for the lot...

I have had several bundles of clothes advertised on facebook for my son (baby and toddler). Bundles cost around £20 and had at least £150 of items mostly from well known brands.

I loved that these mixed bundles had all sorts of items so as well as trousers/jumpers/t-shirts/shorts there were swim shorts, warm coats, rain coats, halloween costume, sun hats etc. I loved that I wouldn’t have to source and shop for the items individually. Saved me the shopping and saved me the money.

I find it really sad when the media has articles like a mum has spent £1000s on designer clothes for their 6 month old. My gut reaction is to think I bet that kid gets no support to go to uni. That’s a mind set that I can’t understand - just pointless consumerism to me and would be far better saved for their future.

I see it as more environmentally friendly. I did it when we genuinely had no money, and I do it now we don’t “need to” especially baby things. It just feels so much less wasteful, and I then donate to charity shops when finished with it. eBay bundles all the way for baby clothes! I buy new underwear, shoes, socks and pyjamas, but especially winter gear! No way!

I think that the idea of 'charity shop clothes' has changed a lot in the last 10-20 years, as people get more environmentally conscious. And all the online secondhand sites really changed how we think about it. I buy secondhand presents for my nephews, and I don't know anyone in the UK who thinks bought secondhand = hard up. It feels more like everybody is selling something on some site, somewhere, and buying a lot secondhand too. (A bit like twenty years ago online dating was what you did if you weren't able to meet someone 'in real life' and now online dating is just the norm?)

I'd give it a go! :)
And I'd definitely consider selling on clothes that are still in good condition as he grows out of them.

OP, you could get into secondhand shopping by starting with BNWT (brand new with tags) clothes from Ebay. You can even put a filter on it so it shows you only those. There are lots of bargains to be had if you do that, and I bet once you've done that, you would graduate to pre-loved in no time!

well, actually, in my very middle class, but a little alternative circle it's the other way around

if you buy new you are irresponsible for damaging the environment, not to mention lacking creativity for having to rely on brands to look cool

the real cool thing is to buy vintage and assemble interesting outfits from that

so it's all relative to your circle and their beliefs, ignore it all, and do what you want!

Please excuse my ignorance, why is it better for the environment?
I have not RTFT, but it seems to me that, if you are posting in good faith, you must be incredibly dim. Please excuse my judgment. dillygaf.

You could join some local buying and selling groups - it might make it feel more like hand me downs and so be more comfortable for you? There is one for the hospital I work at and I have had loads of lovely things for my DD there. Often stuff that is brand new still with tags on but that folk have bought in the sales and then hasn't been the right size for their kid e.g. the next summer. I have sold things on again there too - so stuff like a frugi dress ends up costing about £2.

I can afford to buy new but prefer second hand especially for good quality brands. I had lots of hand me downs as a kid from neighbours and friends and didn't feel there was a stigma though, so is probably why I'm comfortable with it. Even back in the 90s my mum would talk about the environmental benefits of 2nd hand

My dd has had hand me downs from her cousins and it teaches her about sharing and recycling. She loves her cousins very much and is so proud and happy to wear their clothes.
I also buy second hand, at the moment online but pre Covid from bootsales. I got my girl lovely dresses for next to nothing. I really miss bootsales! She definitely never looks trampy and I have only ever had complementary comments on her clothes. I have bought plenty of next, M&S and other good quality items. I know what to avoid and what will last.
I love second hand and seriously I’m so ocd over things looking perfect. I drive my other half up the wall!

My friends and I all buy second hand for our children, we even run the local Nct sale (well not right now obviously) as we love second hand clothes
Environmentally it’s better, better for our bank accounts and nothing beats that feeling of getting an absolute bargain!
I have bought Jojo maman coats/snowsuits for £5... they retail at £40+!

I grew up in working class area with a real prejudice against 2nd hand clothes, charity shops and jumble sales. They existed but you were judged.

Ironically the better off the circles I've hung out in the less people care. My dc buy clothes from thrift stores and designer labels, the dc at their school just don't care. They are all comfortable and assume it is a choice and not a need. So there is no shame involved.

The dc bundles are great when they are small.

Christ, just get over it. Nobody can tell and nobody cares.

I know when I was growing up, my mother and her friends used to pass each other USED baby and toddler clothes and often certain baby equipment.

When I had my first (pre internet), the NCT in my area had amazing baby essentials selling event. People came from all over for good quality used baby clothing abd equipment.

Nothing wrong with having good quality USED baby items.

There was even a lady who ran a maternity clothing rental service. I rented a beautiful maternity dress to attend a wedding.

Iv never dressed my child in pre worn clothes. But i can see why it makes sense you would. Similarly iv been bought up with new clothes never pre worn ones. So feels alien. I think for me its more to do with concerns surrounding hygiene. Even if i wash them id still think it wasnt clean. Might sound ridiculous but its an anxiety. To avoid that feeling i just buy like u say what i can afford but new.

Op shops do have brand name clothes so it sounds like you just don't Op shop to know that nice clothes are found in them.

I lost all interest when you used the word "trampy".