To ask what intrusive thoughts you get?

[ObtrusiveIntrusuive]

I'm pretty sure I have undiagnosed OCD, the pure O type. I'm having a flare up at the moment so thought I'd reach out try to talk about it here to stop myself spiralling into "I've lost the plot" territory as I know it's actually quite common

Mine manifests itself as thoughts about harm mostly, for example if I'm at the train station 'my toddler could fall into the gap between the train and the platform' or if I'm crossing a bridge 'I would die if I jumped over this'

When my children were tiny I would get regular ones about dropping them.

I've had slightly less sinister ones too like envisioning myself throwing a drink over whoever I'm talking to.

What intrusive thoughts do you get?

I get similar. Harm to DD. Harm to myself like fantasising about hurting myself, or imagining a car hitting me, falling down the stairs. Then weird ones, like throwing my phone places (there’s a beck in my village and I imagine chucking my phone in there a lot!) and the horrible ones like kicking people’s sticks away! (I would never ever do that but the thoughts come in my head).
I don’t have OCD but I am Autistic and have anxiety and this is how excessive anxiety manifests in me. One thing that has helped me in doing Mindfulness. I did Headspace and one thing that stuck with me is when he said “You aren’t defined by your thoughts”. Like the thoughts come and go but they don’t make me a horrible person. I don’t act on them. This has helped me just like them happen and let them go. I had counselling recently and now journal to counsel myself and it’s made me feel a lot better.

I have these that started with my PND. I will have thoughts about dropping my daughter when I go up and down the stairs , or I get OCD about checking the door is locked and if I don’t do it my husband and daughter will die. I hate them! I also think about drinking bleach when I’m cleaning the toilet . They’re awful I didn’t know how common it was

I get thoughts like this as well. I remember being in a shopping centre 4 floors up and looking down thinking "I could jump this, I'd probably die". I often randomly think "I want to die" which really freaks me out because I absolutely, 100% do NOT want to die and do not feel suicidal at all. I put it down to stress.

Oh my. That is me too. I get very anxious when I see babies in car seats that are on the floor on a surface because I think I might accidently kick them or knock them over. I cannot look at door hinges because I get an image of trapped fingers. I get false memories of things I think I have done, only for a moment later to know I never did that thing.

I also get anxious at train stations because of the gap and the big drop down. I don't like looking at people holding babies because I think they will drop them. It's really awful.

I'm pretty sure I have OCD too because if I think I have done something 'wrong' I have to keep checking, checking, checking until anxiety passes.

No help to anyone sorry but you are not alone.

Harm to myself like fantasising about hurting myself, or imagining a car hitting me

I get exactly the same too. If I'm particularly stressed I'll imagine punching myself banging my head on the wall, but I'd never actually do it.

I often randomly think "I want to die" which really freaks me out because I absolutely, 100% do NOT want to die and do not feel suicidal at all.

Yep same too!

I get OCD about checking the door is locked

Again, same. If I don't check it's locked at night by rattling the handle I won't sleep and have to get back up and check. If I can't remember for certain that it is locked I'll need to check again.

I cannot look at door hinges because I get an image of trapped fingers

Again, relatable! Probably not helped by the fact DS did trap his fingers in a door but I'm super OTT about not closing doors unless I can see he's nowhere near it now.

My most troubling ones at the moment are when I'm walking down the street and I'm on the curb side of the pathway, when cars (especially busses or lorries) are passing me I imagine somehow being sucked into the road and hit by them.

I also claw at my face or scalp when I get the thoughts and DH gently puts my hands down. Sometimes I give an involuntary gasp and people ask me if I'm ok. My mother has mental health problems and I think I am going down the same route tbh and its scary.

Same as others really, something happening to the kids, DH dying, me dying, of DH and I got divorced but there's also a nicer like TV show running in my background where DH and I have split amicably and I'm dating, bump into a guy I've liked for ages and he wants to take me out etc. They're quite repetitive and I have no desire to divorce DH 🤣so not sure what that's about. They're intrusive but not distressing as I can normally mute the worst ones

My mother has mental health problems and I think I am going down the same route tbh and its scary

I hear you. I have mental illness in my family (not my mother but my aunt) and when I'm having a flare up of intrusive thoughts I'm frightened I'm developing schizophrenia or something equally as scary.

It helps to know these thoughts are very common (as is the fear of going 'mad')

The fact we're wondering if we're going mad probably indicates that we aren't, I think. People with severe MH problems such as psychosis are seldom aware iykwim.

Scary ones- jumping over the railing inside shopping centres or throwing my dc over.

Less scary ones that are still annoying - that I might shout out insults or write the wrong name in someone's birthday card.

Weirdest one - when on the toilet peeing, thinking that I am only imagining/daydreaming I'm on the toilet, and I'm really in public or in my chair at work. I tap on the toilet to check its really there!

I think everyone gets the ones about harm befalling children - it's your mind's way of making sure you've assessed all risk.

Pure OCD tends to be of the sort that involve some kind of personal self harm or doing the harm. Or that you might have done harm and not realised.

Less scary ones that are still annoying - that I might shout out insults

I've forgotten that one. When we used to go to the theatre, if there was a moment of silence I would think I am going to shout something out. I also would imagine throwing my drink on the person in front of me.

I don't have OCD, but anxiety and depression.

I get intrusive thoughts of hurting DD, by accident - like knocking her over, or dropping a hot drink on her - or on purpose, just now she was on her hands and knees arching her back backwards, and I had an image of forcing her head backwards. No reason at all. It's horrid and makes me feel sick.

I also relive moments where I've embarrassed myself in life, even from when I was a child. It literally brings me out in a cold sweat. I was a really shy child and I remember once being in a queue for an ice cream, I was 3 or 4, I decided to be brave and turned to my Dad behind me and said 'daddy can I pay for the Ice creams?' except it wasn't my dad, it was a stranger - dad was next to me. The stranger said something funny, and a few people laughed. I vividly remember the whole thing and it plays over and over in my head like a movie.

I walked to college along a main road, narrow pavement, terraced houses with front doors opening right onto the street. I used to obsess every day about a lorry losing control and hitting me. Every day as I walked along the road it was all I thought about. I would try to pick out the houses that might not have locked doors, or where people often seemed to be home where I could maybe have an 'escape route'. I'd always walk on the side facing the traffic so I would have warning if it happened.

Before I had children it was often that I would have awful images of my future potential children being kidnapped, or killed in an accident, or going missing. My Dr laughed when I told him that. It was really hard to shove that all aside to get to the point where I felt able to try to conceive.

Only this morning I was struggling with completely fabricated images of leaving my MIL holding DDs hand while I went to the loo and DD wondering off and falling in a harbour and sinking. Could I jump in and save her in time? Utter nonsense, MIL is late 80s, and scatty as hell, I'd never leave her with DD like that in the first place!

Also pets, images of them being hurt by accident or on purpose. Before DCat passed away I'd panic if he was outside when the bin men came.

The worst one for me is a bridge Dd and I walk over to get to nursery and she wants me to hold her up so she can look for swans. It makes me panic instantly because I see her falling into the river every time. I’ve had to go a different way because it’s such a horrid way to start the day.

My thoughts used to be quite disturbing and my psychiatrist suggested this book ages ago. It was very useful.
Screenshot due to unable to link.

Watching low flying airplanes to make sure they don't crash but certain they are going to, having to pray and beg for forgiveness for my tiredness when DD goes to her nan's so that nothing bad will happen to her when she is there without me, thinking about stepping in front of cars when I'm really exhausted even though I really wouldn't want to step in front of a car. I can't remember what other ones have happened lately.

Oh yeah I also think all cars are terrorists now and are going to chase me and run me down. It's more when I'm alone this one. And not being able to walk down a busy road without thinking a car is going to mount the pavement. Seeing flashes of a dog jumping up and mauling my face when I'm stroking a dog's face (I did get attacked by some dogs a few years ago, but that fear left after a few months and this feeling only arrived after getting pregnant so must be unrelated to that incident).

I don't have anything diagnosed but have suffered from intrusive thoughts and ruminations for years ! The worst ones were triggered by 911 , when I saw the image of the falling man. I became obsessed with watching videos of 911 and the people trapped and then jumping , it was like a video in my head and it just replays and replays . I watched and re watched for hours videos on people jumping from buildings . I have absolutely no idea why and I don't actually want to do it but I kind of have to ? Also the Manchester arena bombing - there was some footage of that I watched again and again , it was filmed on someone's mobile and showed people injured seconds after the bomb - again I felt compelled to watch again and again
My other intrusive thoughts are bridges , especially over motorways , I will visualise what it would feel like to jump , be hit by a car and I worry that my brain will suddenly switch and I will do it . I also do a lot of motorway driving and sometimes I convince myself I am asleep at the wheel when I know I am not and I have to slap my face ( Jesus is anyone saw me !!! ) .

I also have the desire to shout out when there is silence in a crowded room , some kind of expletive . I know I won't but I feel like I am close to doing it .
Looking back , I have had this as a child . I told my mum when I was around 9 - 10 years old - "mum , when you are on a bus do you sometimes feel like you might just suddenly shout at the top of your lungs and start running and screaming up and down the aisle of the bus " . She said no - absolutely not ! As a child I would hold on to the seat frame in front of me to kind of stop me from doing it , just incase I did .
I have no other mh issues and I have just kind of learned to live with it . However , sometimes it's very upsetting and quite instrusive on my life

Intrusive thoughts are completely normal. Everyone gets them, a lit of people don't recognise that they're having them because they have no awareness. The subject matter us different for everyone too. Eckhart Tolle has some fascinating insights on thoughts. I recommend you spend a bit of time listening to him on YouTube.

I think a lot about how I would kill myself to escape my job to be honest. I’m not seeing any way out of it right now.

I have two kids. I’m absolutely not going to kill myself.

But sometimes I think about it anyway.

It's normal it's your brains way of making you aware of dangers. It happens to everyone, you're not loosing the plot OP don't worry.

@YukoandHiro

I think everyone gets the ones about harm befalling children - it's your mind's way of making sure you've assessed all risk.

Pure OCD tends to be of the sort that involve some kind of personal self harm or doing the harm. Or that you might have done harm and not realised.

Interesting. Yes we probably do all have those thoughts about harm coming to children.

Would this be described as OCD?

We got the usual school newsletter on a Friday (going back 10 years ago), where we were reminded to not bring cars to collect children unless necessary because a car had mounted the pavement and nearly hit a child. I was absolutely convinced it was me and kept driving onto the street I parked on to see if I could have mounted the pavement (out of school hours). I did it over and over again until I accepted it couldn't possibly of been me. Even now I look at the road and replay the thought of nearly hurting a child. Don't even know which street the incident took place!

Intrusive thoughts or OCD? I am diagnosed general anxiety but sometimes it seems like its something more.

Usually always about my children and people harming them. Yesterday I lowered my baby into the bath thinking 'if someone made it too hot and lowered him in, there's nothing he could do and he'd be in agony' , or last week when he really cried after his vaccinations 'this is what he'd sound like if someone tortured him.'
Honestly it's distressing just writing it down, but it's my life every day and I hate it.

I know this is isn't what was asked, but when I was having the intrusive thoughts when DD was an infant, I asked to speak to someone about it a hospital when I was getting DD's reflux checked. I went into full glory detail of the thoughts I was getting, prompted by the mental health nurse and ended up being locked up for three months by social services, and having a listening device in my room and DD was put on a child protection order. They were convinced I had psychosis even though three psychiatrists confirmed I didn't. I had to wait two months to see an independent maternity health psychiatrist who wrote the situation down and explained to the courts the difference between OCD and psychosis was. But anyway, the shock and worry of what happened really made the thoughts subside. I guess the part of my brain which looks for danger had something to focus on with the danger of having my baby taken away and so stopped looking to be useful with creating made up situations.