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Original poster

To ask what intrusive thoughts you get?

151 replies

ObtrusiveIntrusuive · 27/02/2021 09:21

I'm pretty sure I have undiagnosed OCD, the pure O type. I'm having a flare up at the moment so thought I'd reach out try to talk about it here to stop myself spiralling into "I've lost the plot" territory as I know it's actually quite common Smile

Mine manifests itself as thoughts about harm mostly, for example if I'm at the train station 'my toddler could fall into the gap between the train and the platform' or if I'm crossing a bridge 'I would die if I jumped over this'

When my children were tiny I would get regular ones about dropping them.

I've had slightly less sinister ones too like envisioning myself throwing a drink over whoever I'm talking to.

What intrusive thoughts do you get?

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 27/02/2021 16:09

I used to work as a Nurse and would be carrying a bowl of water to a patient to give them a wash and there would be a sleeping patient that I passed and a thought would pop into my head thinking what would happen if I threw the water over them.

Sideorderofchips · 27/02/2021 16:14

What would happen if I hit that wall with the car

What would happen if I just didn't stop

That I'm useless etc etc. Waiting for therapy

Babyroobs · 27/02/2021 16:14

@Hazardflash

I don't know if it's part and parcel with my pure O, but I also have a big problem with catastrophising. Particularly with work at the moment. Like if I make even a minor mistake, I'll lose my job, my professional designation (law) and then my house because I will never be able to work again and then my kids etc. I actually rarely make mistakes - probably because I obsess over every decision so much and then go back 100 times to check I did it right. It's exhausting. I'm definitely not in the right career for someone with these issues!
This was exactly why I gave up Nursing after 30years, the stress of worrying over every decision made, going back over incidents that had happened 20 years before that I felt were my fault, never being able to comprehend why colleagues seemed to brush off minor mistakes which I knew I would be catastrophizing over for weeks if it had been me. I take medication now for anxiety and the thoughts just don't pop into my head any more.
Freetodowhatiwant · 27/02/2021 16:15

I was talking about this today. I get really weird ones about punching vulnerable people really hard in the face when I walk past them in the street! It makes me flinch, I hate it. I have never punched anyone in my life. Old people looking frail and also pregnant women who I imagine punching really hard in the stomach😳

I also get some about jumping off bridges.

When I was pregnant with my first child I suddenly got instrusive thoughts about biting the head of pigeons! I could feel their feathers and small bones crunching in my mouth. I also used to think about the tiny bones of the baby whilst this happpend.

I realise that written down this looks awful but I promise you I am a completely sane person who has never had a fight in their life! I am also vegetarian so don’t often bite into any animals - dead or alive.

Hazardflash · 27/02/2021 16:40

@whatnow47

Thanks OP and everyone who have shared Flowers.

Finally got myself booked into therapy because of this thread x

So happy to hear this. All the best.
FireflyRainbow · 27/02/2021 16:43

So many of these are so familiar. I thought it was just me who had these thoughts.

Hazardflash · 27/02/2021 18:59

@Babyroobs wow, I can imagine what it would be like in nursing. At least if I mess up, only money is lost (and the money of people who already have enough of it!). It was medication that helped me too. Been on and off paroxetine for the past 20 years. So comforting to know it's there if and when I need it.

Hazardflash · 27/02/2021 19:02

@FireflyRainbow

So many of these are so familiar. I thought it was just me who had these thoughts.
That's why it's such an insidious illness. No one wants to talk about the things they're thinking about, as they're just too vile. It really is a hidden illness compared to some other forms of mental illness. We become good at making sure no one would ever know!
justletmeadoreyou · 27/02/2021 19:02

I always imagine the most embarrassing possible thing I could say in a situation and have to try hard to stop myself from saying it. Also things like putting my hand behind open doors and the like. Some quite gruesome thoughts really. Thankfully I am able to stop myself carrying anything out, or I’d probably be long dead by now!

phier99 · 27/02/2021 19:07

I have had intrusive thoughts for years. I'll randomly start thinking about my children's funerals and sometimes I get so upset and angry that I hit my head, almost to get the thought out. I've had lots of other really disturbing ones regularly

dottiedaisee · 27/02/2021 19:37

Am relieved to se this thread!! I have really intrusive thoughts occasionally that actually make me feel really unsettled ...I just yell at myself and it seems to work!! I am always scared about heights and worry that I would have a panic attack and jump off ...so I avoid foot bridges,balconies and escalators.

Thischarmlessgirl · 27/02/2021 19:55

I’m a therapist
Intrusive thoughts are super common, Usually because of the nature of the people feel
Ashamed and don’t talk about them. Ultimately it’s anxiety (Pure O and OCD fall under the umbrella on anxiety disorders too) there’s a great book called Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts which explains the theory and how to conquer them, basically not giving them much attention, we all have weird thoughts every day but Those of us who feel anxious sometimes engage more in the ones which we feel worried about or troubled by, and this keeps them going.
Inability to tolerate uncertainty also plays a part. It can be very distressing but treatable

Seriously79 · 27/02/2021 20:24

Interesting post, thank OP.

I often get 'what if thoughts' what if I haven't done DD's seat belt up properly 🤔 what if I haven't cut her toast small enough (she's 20 months).

What if DS needs the loo in school and isn't allowed to go 🤔

Just totally random thought, that can sometimes make me panicked.

I guess I'm a bit low and anxious at the moment, lost my job last December, wedding has been postponed to next year, and big family holiday to Florida has been postponed too.

No, ASD, or depression, just tough times x

whenmyvoil · 27/02/2021 22:55

I got really ill with anxiety around 5 years ago. That was my first experience with intrusive thoughts and it was positively awful and I thought I was going insane and that I was sick as the thoughts were so terrible, I was sure that no one else in the world had these thoughts.

My thoughts were mainly around harming my daughter, I was so distraught and disturbed by them and then I worried I would act on them so actually chucked out all the knifes in my house Blush I really couldn't eat or sleep with them they were all consuming. And I would ruminate.

However, after a bad bout they would (more or less) disappear for a few weeks, then flare back up, lessen, flare up etc. In that time I did loads of research on it and watched loads of YouTube videos.

I can't remember where I read it but it really worked for me. Whenever an intrusive thought comes into your head try and just laugh at it or roll your eyes. For instance say one night I'm lying with my daughter when I would have a thought about harming her, I would just kind of chuckle to myself roll my eyes and think 'yeah as if' and hug her tighter.

It really helped not rising to the thoughts, letting them come and go and not reacting, by just knowing that these thoughts are normal but it's the amount we pay attention to them that is abnormal. Laughing at how ridiculous they were and knowing that I would never act on them really took their power away. It's taken practice but it's been a few years now and I have never suffered from them the same.

I can hold a knife around my daughter, I can have these thoughts and not bat an eyelid, the power has been taken away completely from them. And because of that they don't come often at all, but when they do, no big deal, they're just thoughts.

Babyroobs · 28/02/2021 00:16

It has been good reading this thread knowing that so many others have similar thoughts. My only regret is that I did not seek help sooner. My intrusive thoughts have blighted my life since I was 18, but since starting medication a couple of years ago for anxiety things have been so much better. Thanks for starting the thread op.

Wimpeyspread · 28/02/2021 00:26

I also relive moments where I've embarrassed myself in life, even from when I was a child. It literally brings me out in a cold sweat. I was a really shy child and I remember once being in a queue for an ice cream, I was 3 or 4, I decided to be brave and turned to my Dad behind me and said 'daddy can I pay for the Ice creams?' except it wasn't my dad, it was a stranger - dad was next to me. The stranger said something funny, and a few people laughed. I vividly remember the whole thing and it plays over and over in my head like a movie

This - it’s like a newsreel endlessly repeating situations that make me feel like shit. I am socially anxious, and this feeds it

diagold4u · 28/02/2021 00:31

I think like that and really thought it's just me! I know my mum thinks like that, she's sooo ott about it, growing up and even now she will constantly warn us to be careful about anything and everything because of the possibility of something bad happening.
My dh thinks am too protective for thinking like that in regards to the children.
I often imagine myself slipping on the tiles after cleaning it! Annoys me that I get that thought. Or slipping coming out of the bath. God protect me please

PhylisNightsIsAwesome · 28/02/2021 00:35

Mine are:

That my pets are going to die and I have to keep.checking on them

That God.is punishing me and I have.to.appease.Him somehow

That.I'm going to hurt someone

Sexual thoughts..

gurglebelly · 28/02/2021 00:37

@FallenSky

I get thoughts like this as well. I remember being in a shopping centre 4 floors up and looking down thinking "I could jump this, I'd probably die". I often randomly think "I want to die" which really freaks me out because I absolutely, 100% do NOT want to die and do not feel suicidal at all. I put it down to stress.
Very similar, I often look at the door handle on the car while on the motorway and think 'if I pulled this and fell out I'd be dead' but I have absolutely no intention to want to die
gurglebelly · 28/02/2021 00:39

I also occasionally look at my cats asleep on the floor and think if I stepped on their head I'd crush their skull.

They are my babies, and I love them with my whole heart-there is no chance I would purposely hurt them

gurglebelly · 28/02/2021 00:41

@FlyNow

Scary ones- jumping over the railing inside shopping centres or throwing my dc over.

Less scary ones that are still annoying - that I might shout out insults or write the wrong name in someone's birthday card.

Weirdest one - when on the toilet peeing, thinking that I am only imagining/daydreaming I'm on the toilet, and I'm really in public or in my chair at work. I tap on the toilet to check its really there!

Oooh I do that on the toilet!! But that comes from a dream when I was a kid that I was in the toilet and I wet the bed, 30 years later I still tap the toilet in the middle of the night when I'm peeing!!!
Coffeeandaride · 28/02/2021 00:48

Religious but I can’t write them down or say them as that is part of it.
They have been quiet for a while.

ChristOnAPeloton · 28/02/2021 00:58

I get the past embarrassing moments thing a lot. I have certain phrases that I have to say out loud to “stop” them in their tracks.

I also get images in my mind pop up when I’m trying to sleep about a particular animal I’m very frightened of.

It’s very tiring.

CrayonInThreeBits · 28/02/2021 01:03

What a species, to have brains that torment themselves like this.

MissPessyMistic · 28/02/2021 01:13

I’m so pleased to see this thread. I’ve got a 25 year history of depression and anxiety, and now finally diagnosed as BP2, so I’m assuming that sits behind them a bit.

A bit of context. I was raised Catholic and although no one at home was devout I think some of the imagery stuck. Particularly a number with 3 digits that I’m not going type out! If I saw it written down, or perhaps it popped in to my head I would repeat ‘999’ in my head over and over again. I somehow associated that with being able to cancel out the other number.

If I heard a plane overhead I would imagine it crashing. That turned into wishing it to crash. To stop it happening I would have to do the little 999 ritual. I would also start to wish my parents were dead, followed by frantic 999ing. I adore my parents, and we are very very close, so it couldn’t be further from the truth. There were others where the ritual needed to be repeated, but those were the two main ones. The compulsion I felt to throw myself in front of a tube got so bad that I had to stop using them.

I’ve suspected I may have pure O, but never mentioned it to any of my doctors because I just cba with another bloody diagnosis!

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