To ask what intrusive thoughts you get?

[ObtrusiveIntrusuive]

I'm pretty sure I have undiagnosed OCD, the pure O type. I'm having a flare up at the moment so thought I'd reach out try to talk about it here to stop myself spiralling into "I've lost the plot" territory as I know it's actually quite common

Mine manifests itself as thoughts about harm mostly, for example if I'm at the train station 'my toddler could fall into the gap between the train and the platform' or if I'm crossing a bridge 'I would die if I jumped over this'

When my children were tiny I would get regular ones about dropping them.

I've had slightly less sinister ones too like envisioning myself throwing a drink over whoever I'm talking to.

What intrusive thoughts do you get?

Oh also frequently imagining I wake up in the past as a child.. but with my mind just as it is now. So I'm say five years old in my childhood home in the 90s. How would I live my life knowing what I know now. Who would I seek out, who would I avoid. What things could I prevent from happening, what could I do better? How would I make sure no one found out who I really was. I obsess about this one a bit and both day dream and dream at night about it.

Pure OCD tends to be of the sort that involve some kind of personal self harm or doing the harm. Or that you might have done harm and not realised.

Wow I had no idea that worrying about having done harm and not realised was part of this. I was once driving in the snow and went over a bit of a bump and when I got where I was going I utterly convinced myself that I had accidentally ran over a person that had fallen into the road and been covered by the snow so I couldn't see them. I went as far as checking local news sites for the next few days to check that no one had been found hurt/dead in the snow.

Another time, probably quite ironically, I rang to refer myself to the local therapy/counselling service for my anxiety and when i left a message and hung up i convinced myself that I'd left my work phone number by accident and had thoughts that they would ring work about my referral and announce who they were and people at work would find out I was having counselling for my mental health and that I'd have to leave my job as I felt so embarrassed.

As you can probably tell from the above examples, I really did need the therapy.

Funerals are really bad for my intrusive thoughts. I won't go into details but I have nightmares the following night.

This thread is weirdly wonderful. My daughter and I went for a walk today and I told her about this thread. She said that she once had a thought about kicking a toddler she could see walking down the road. It really upset her. She's very kind and lovely wants to be a teacher.

I also have a memory of Alan Carr doing a stand-up routine about intrusive thoughts. He said he sometimes thought about eating dog poo or signing up for the Open University.. It was quite funny. My sister didn't get it all.

Main ones are when im driving thinking oh i could just drive into this wall now or laying in the bath thinking about drowning. Sometimes things like the house burning down too. No suicidal thoughts and pretty mentally healthy/happy so assume just intrusive thoughts.

@Msgiggles30 thats brilliant. I diagnose you as "normal"

I have aspergers and OCD and things that go hand in hand with that like anxiety. I used to have very intrusive thoughts about dying, I still do (but not as much) have thoughts about hurting myself ie if I see a knife, bridge etc. Sometimes when I am stood on a platform and a train or tube train is approaching I have thoughts of throwing myself infront of it. I rarely have thoughts about hurting others but mainly myself but they're not my thoughts just random thoughts that appear.

Similar things really, I’ve had them since I was a small child but until recently have never understood what they were.

As a child it would usually be at a friend’s house, I’d imagine myself suddenly shouting at the parents that their food was disgusting, swearing at them or throwing a drink. I’d horrify myself so much thinking I might actually do it.

More recently it revolves around hot drinks and boiling water - I’ll have a sudden horrific urge to throw a boiling hot drink over someone, usually in their face. It’s horribly worse with children and babies (even my own). I feel disgusting about that. I’m terrified that my hands might just lose control and do it, it’s a really frightening, gut-wrenching feeling. I think it’s because babies are so precious and my brain is catastrophising the worst thing that could possibly happen, tricking me into thinking I would do it.

It’s a recognised OCD symptom but I am not diagnosed, as I have no other symptoms and it has no real impact on my life really. It’s infrequent and I’ve lived with it as long as I can remember.

just to add I have thanatophobia which is why it's so weird, I literally have a phobia of dying.

Mine are weird ones like the urge to throw my phone in the bath, to bend my laptop screen backwards so it snaps, jumping down flights of stairs, slamming the breaks on on the motorway etc.

The really scary ones I have are things like if I'm holding a pen or any object really I think what would happen if I jammed it into my eye, I have a well on my property which is completely covered and sealed but sometimes I think what would happen if I jumped in it- when we first found it we opened it and looked into it and I had such an urge to lean in just a bit too far.

There was a thread a few weeks ago about someone who had a sense of impending doom before a medical emergency and that's plagued my mind knowing people can get it before heart attacks and other serious things. Now everytime I feel slightly worried I go straight to thinking I'm going to die.

@Mally2020 me too. I get vertigo when I visit castles with the children because I think I am going to throw myself off a high point. I have to stand back and breath. I am scared of dying but I assume that's a normal existential crisis. It would be weird if we weren't anxious about that, I guess that is why religion is so important to some people. I like to think we live on through our children..

I need this thread very much. Dp is getting worried my IT are quite bad just now. They have been worse.
When dd1 was born it started and they were ferocious. I had a constant fear of of all things a washing rack like the type that's spindly and white. I would think I'll trip and impale dd1 on the uprights.
When I had dd2 I thought what if I can't cope and as a result I hang the children from the bannister. Yes as in kill them. I've never really felt that I can't cope though.
Nowadays it's mostly worrying the car will split apart on a motorway and the kids will be killed. That started when I had dd2 as if we were in an accident how would I get both kids out? A friend made me order that multi tool with the hammer and the seatbelt cutter and put it in the driver door. Actually that helped a lot.

I have suffered intermittently with depression but only anxiety really in the last couple of years. It doesn't match the periods of IT.

I get these, but I didn’t realise so many other people did. That’s rather comforting.

@wanderedlonelyasacloud yes, I once convinced myself that I had murdered my doctor in his office and had no recollection of it.

I had went to the doctor for help with my intrusive thoughts, came out of there feeling so much better as the doctor was so lovely and made me realise I wasn't a psycho and made a plan going forward. Got out of there feeling good and positive for first time in ages, went and picked my daughter up, took her to the park and bam, punch in the gut, thought 'what if I killed the doctor but can't remember it?' Couldn't get it out of my head, I had harmed that poor doctor that was only trying to help me!

How can you possibly explain that to someone who has never suffered from it?

@Buggeredpelvicfloor2013 i could have written your post. All of it! I also get thoughts when im driving that i have run someone over and often have to go back to check ..or i look in my rear view mirror a lot to see if anyone is lying in the road.
I used to get awful thoughts that i might put something toxic in my babies milk and would have to remake their milk over and over and over again with all these rituals to make sure I hadn't or awful thoughts that I would lose my mind and shake the baby after reading a really sad story about a mother who had done that
its absolutely debilitating and so tiring im taking sertraline which helps so much

When I realised other people also get these thoughts it was like someone turned on a light in my head.

Sometimes they’re awful, sometimes they’re just embarrassing, I imagine I tell people something horrifically rude or shout at them!
I’m going through an extremely stressful time at the moment so I guess poor MH is to be expected.

Hugs to everyone else having a hard time.

@Mumtwoboys90 oh God yes, I remember driving to work one morning and I was convinced I'd clipped a child walking close to the road on her way to school even though I'd clipped nothing. I had to turn round and go back to check! Sometimes when I make my DSs milk at night I have to tip it away and pour it again because I'm convinced I've put some of my medication in it and rather than overthink it, I just tip it and start again. Seems to be working for that one so far. I'm on sertraline too and have been for 6 years, its been an absolute life saver for me. Sending love from one Mum to another ❤

Thank you to everyone who has posted. It's so reassuring knowing I'm not the only one. I identify so much with what's been said.
I find giving some air time to the thoughts takes away some of their power. I feel the thoughts thrive most when unsaid, it's like planting a seed and the more I keep it underground the more time it gets to plant its roots in me. I'm very lucky that my DH is understanding and can hear my worst ITs without judging me.
It's a horrible horrible thing to have to deal with and I often wish I could turn off my brain for a while. I wouldnt wish it on anyone

I always convince myself on the drive home from work I've left the laminator on. I once went into work on a Saturday as I'd been awake since 6am worrying about it so now have to make myself look at it several times if I've used it to mentally log I've turned it off !!!

When I'm on something high, cliff, hull, bridge, mezzanine, stairwell etc I always ALWAYS imagine falling or jumping off.

Yes to falling or throwing myself off cliffs, canal locks, tall buildings. I fear that something in my brain will suddenly flip and I will jump.

I'm sorry to post on such an old thread but I have just come across it and can't thank the OP enough.
I wish I'd known this years ago when I virtually had a breakdown thinking thoughts I would be too embarrassed to even write down 💔
I've ended up here now as my adult daughter is going through something similar and has extreme thanatophobia (fear of death) and I'm looking for ways to help her 💜💜💜

I identify so much with this thread too.