We have 3 DC (eldest two aren't his). Our youngest is 18 months.
I am a SAHM, have been since pregnant with youngest.
After a lengthy period of not being ontop of finances and struggling to make ends meet, we are going to be calculating everything this weekend and coming up with a budget.
I have recently submitted his last 3 years (late) worth of self assessments (he is self employed and stopped using his accountant, long story) without being able to claim expenses for fuel and tools because he didn't keep his receipts.
He has been keeping them consistently for the last few months though since we submitted his tax returns.
I just asked him if I could have access to his bank account log in to assist me keeping on top of everything (all bills come out of his account).
He has said no. That he will be giving me his work expense receipts and that's all I will need, that he doesn't want to be nagged every time he buys something. I asked him if he intended on buying things that he wouldn't tell me about and he said no. I said, so what's the issue then and he said "I work, it's my money". I responded that this logic was flawed considering I am at home caring for his child and am not working because of this, am totally dependent on him etc so how is it his money and not both of ours.
I know what he gets paid because copies of his invoices get sent to our address from work every two weeks. I pointed out that I would know if there was money missing based on that and our bills etc....so what's the problem with me seeing this account.
This went round in circles and he didn't budge. It's his account and his money and he won't have me nagging him every time he spends money on a coffee or 20 quid on golf.
AIBU to think this is not OK?