Opting out of Mothers' Day emails

[Newtonn]

Checking my emails (which are full of random places I've ordered online from), I've noticed many companies asking if I want to opt out of receiving emails advertising mothers' day.

I thought it was a weird coincidence to read a few with the same subject line and content and upon googling, I've found out this is now common, but it's bypassed me for a couple of years.

I understand it's not a happy time for everyone, and not everyone will celebrate, but I'm a bit bemused by the idea that it's really upsetting for an email from Asda that features an offer currently available on a bunch a flowers / bottle of Baileys to land in someone's email inbox.

Lots of people struggle with all sorts every day. Christmas is harder for some people. Valentine's day. And the associated tat is all over the real world (and social media), so aibu to think this is unlikely to really help anyone?

Just because the idea of Mother's Day being upsetting is funny to you doesn't make your opinion accurate.
Anyway, people should be able to opt out of whatever marketing they want. Companies aren't owed free advertising.

I think it’s a really nice gesture. My mum is genuinely evil and suffers from a myriad of mental health issues that makes her very scary and difficult to deal with. I really don’t want the constant reminder whilst I’m trying to move on with my life.

I think it's really kind

with Valentine’s Day being single isn’t necessarily traumatic, however not enjoying Mother’s Day is likely to be associated with trauma. Whether it’s a loved one passing or if it’s due to abuse. Everyone has a mother, not everyone has a significant other or is dating.

You'll probably find you had opt-outs for Christmas and Valentines day as well.

Its not U at all.

Yanbu these emails themselves are just a marketing ploy. And have been quite successful.

It’s not a pleasant reminder for those with fertility issues. It must be nice to be naive about that

I appreciate it, and opt out at every opportunity

My Dad died very suddenly of a heart attack on 23rd June at 54. Yes, I could do without 50 emails inviting me to celebrate Father’s Day which is usually a few days before.

Are you utterly lacking emotion or empathy?

We went for a meal after my grandmother's funeral to a restaurant that plastered adverts for its mothers day menu all over every wall. My dad was extremely upset. A few years back I got a message from a well meaning but forgetful friend reminding us to all 'treat our mummies!', obviously she was then mortified to remember that my mum had not long died of lung cancer. I've had a lot of tragedy in my life and can safely say not much cuts quite like the loss of my mother. I don't opt out of these emails but a few years ago I would have been desperate to. YABVU.

For a few years after my mum died I really struggled with mothers day, not helped by it being so close to the date she died. It's still not easy, but more bearable now. Those "Hers what you should get to show your mum you love her" emails were quite painful reminders, so I opted out.

@Newtonn

Checking my emails (which are full of random places I've ordered online from), I've noticed many companies asking if I want to opt out of receiving emails advertising mothers' day.

I thought it was a weird coincidence to read a few with the same subject line and content and upon googling, I've found out this is now common, but it's bypassed me for a couple of years.

I understand it's not a happy time for everyone, and not everyone will celebrate, but I'm a bit bemused by the idea that it's really upsetting for an email from Asda that features an offer currently available on a bunch a flowers / bottle of Baileys to land in someone's email inbox.

Lots of people struggle with all sorts every day. Christmas is harder for some people. Valentine's day. And the associated tat is all over the real world (and social media), so aibu to think this is unlikely to really help anyone?

It's not difficult to imagine it's upsetting if you have empathy. Getting an email about Mother's Day two weeks after your mother has died is not what you really want.

Those little things can be HUGE for someone who has lost their mum or has no relationship or wants to be a mum but cant.

I think it’s a great idea, I always opt out.

@luxxlisbon

Just because the idea of Mother's Day being upsetting is funny to you doesn't make your opinion accurate. Anyway, people should be able to opt out of whatever marketing they want. Companies aren't owed free advertising.

It's not at all funny to me.

I said I understand the event itself can be upsetting (as can many things), but although it's a gesture from companies, it doesn't make a great deal of sense to me.

They’ve been doing it for a while (Father’s Day too).

I think it’s silly - even though I’ve lost both parents and, yes it’s bloody tough - the world doesn’t revolve around me and I can’t expect everyone else to pussy foot around the topic. You can’t avoid it.

If I want to unsubscribe, I’ll click unsubscribe - they’ve already sent the email.

How doesn’t it make sense? It stops people from being triggered? As in the actual psychological definition? It shows people that the company is taking them into account and respecting their wishes

Many people just don't have good relationships with their mothers or have lost them. I can't have children so it is a lovely knife in the heart every year for me too. It is obviously a marketing ploy but I can't bring myself to be that bothered about it if it makes even one person feel better on what can be a pretty hard day for some.

I still remember not long after my friend lost her lovely mother to a horrible cancer, she utterly broke down on the street as we passed a huge window display by a card shop reminding us to spoil our mother's on Mother's Day. She was completely inconsolable.

But they’ve already emailed them anyway.

@Liquorishtoffee

But they’ve already emailed them anyway.

It unsubscribes you from future ones. So you don't get them again the next year. Or if they've got longer running campaigns which might have multiple emails you don't get the subsequent ones.

Surely it’s just tactical marketing and suits them.

If you don’t like having Mother’s Day emails you might unsubscribe altogether if these emails upset you. So this opt out means they get to keep you and make you feel like they care.

They only care about one thing, keeping you on their mailing list. This is a thinly veiled way to disguise it.

I do however totally agree with it as an option. Nobody wants to be told to “show your mother you care” when you’d love nothing better if she was only still alive.

The first Father’s Day after my dad died, opening my emails unexpectedly (it was about a month before) to one with the subject “show dad you love him” felt like a punch to the stomach. I’m so grateful I can opt out of those emails now!

I opt out.

I lost my Mum last year and miss her a lot, I do not want to be constantly reminded that she is no longer here every time I check my emails.
I am a bit unsure of your point OP tbh.

I was wailing like a banshee on Marylebone high street just after dad died (horrible bastarding slow cancer death) - just because it hit me. And later in Boots when I went to pick up some old photos (I’d forgotten what they were) and someone had used my camera to take photos of mums grave (died very suddenly and unexpectedly) when it was just filled in (all flowers).

That’s how it is. You can’t just avoid anything that may remind you of something terrible - or even things that don’t. This is life.

they’ve already sent the email.

Exactly. And it mentions the topic specifically, precisely when you aren't geared up to expect it or deal with it yet.

I completely appreciate that people who've lost family members or have difficult relationships, or lived through any sort of trauma will struggle at certain times, often annually. This certainly could be something like Valentines day, if having lost a partner (I didn't mean for single people). For me, 22nd February is always a difficult day. I haven't expected or stopped the whole country not to mention it, the media report it and the government refer to it as 'roadmap' day for the whole year up to that point.

I just was puzzled (not amused, as I now think a PP might have read my 'bemused') by the idea.) that the advertising, which really is just stuff they always sell, but gathered into a seasonal list, would be the real difficulty.

As isolating as loss is, the rest of the world carries on and these things aren't hidden.