Opting out of Mothers' Day emails

[Newtonn]

Checking my emails (which are full of random places I've ordered online from), I've noticed many companies asking if I want to opt out of receiving emails advertising mothers' day.

I thought it was a weird coincidence to read a few with the same subject line and content and upon googling, I've found out this is now common, but it's bypassed me for a couple of years.

I understand it's not a happy time for everyone, and not everyone will celebrate, but I'm a bit bemused by the idea that it's really upsetting for an email from Asda that features an offer currently available on a bunch a flowers / bottle of Baileys to land in someone's email inbox.

Lots of people struggle with all sorts every day. Christmas is harder for some people. Valentine's day. And the associated tat is all over the real world (and social media), so aibu to think this is unlikely to really help anyone?

I remember the first mothers day after mum died, walking into a supermarket and seeing the whole first aisle full of mothers day stuff. I walked out and straight back to the car where I sobbed like a baby.

I found it to be a huge relief to be able to opt-out of Mothers Day emails for a few years after my son died. I wasn't hiding from it. I just didn't need my nose rubbing in it.

@Liquorishtoffee

But they’ve already emailed them anyway.

Yes, one email. As a kind of warning before the relentless marketing onslaught begins. And the tone of the opt out email is gentle. These are places I'm already subscribed to so if I don't unsubscribe then I will get the marketing emails.

I'm very happy to opt out and have done so of quite a few. Etsy don't appear to have the option, I've had a few marketing emails from them.

Mother's day is hard for many many people in complicated ways. A colleague of mine had a child die when she was younger and never went on to have any more. Mother's day was so difficult for her, and newer colleagues didn't know why, it's not like she told everyone who joined the firm.
People who've lost their mothers or who are desperately wishing they could become one.
If the emails don't upset someone they don't need to unsubscribe but it's a bit lacking in empathy to not get that other people can be cut to the core.

Don't be fooled - it's a cold, hard marketing ploy and nothing more.

And for the poster who accused OP of finding it funny - I think you are getting 'bemused' and 'amused' mixed up.

Lots of people struggle with all sorts every day. Christmas is harder for some people. Valentine's day. And the associated tat is all over the real world (and social media), so aibu to think this is unlikely to really help anyone?

I got one asking if I wanted to opt our of Valentine's Day. I would think that if someone had just lost their partner or been cheated on then this would help.

My mum died alone and distressed on Christmas Day of covid 19 and I’ve been left traumatised by it. But, you go ahead being bemused why being reminded of my mother’s recent death might be upsetting.

Two of my children have died.

There are many things that could be done to make the lives of bereaved parents a tiny bit easier. This is one of them.

Is it really so bemusing that parents who have had their child die in their arms don't wish to have emails reminding them about mothers day celebrations?

Both my parents died when I was very young, I was orphaned at 10 years old. All through school I had to sit back while teachers told everyone “go and ask your mum / dad/ gran about...” whatever. I was in a children’s home, who was I meant to ask?

Every Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is a reminder that I don’t have parents and haven’t for the last 45 years. A coupl of years ago I was accosted in Asda by a worker asking me “what are you getting your mum for Mother’s Day? Have you thought about these...” I did let her know that not everyone has a mum.

I’m really grateful for the opt-out option that has started recently. I might be an grown adult now, but when you experience trauma at a very young age you can still experience triggers in adulthood.

It’s not about getting an email from Asda about Mother’s Day gifts, it’s the daily reminders that you don’t have a mother to celebrate the day with.

I had one recently from Cross Country and I was impressed by their sensitivity even though it's not something that would bother me.

Also, it doesn’t have to be about a mother or child having died. Many people have hideous parents and may not want reminders that Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are actually happy times for other people.

My son was born and died in November. He wasn't due till a few days before mother's day. He is my second child, but had he been my first, and if I should have been experiencing my first mothers day with him, then I imagine it would be like a stab in the heart every time. It's been hard enough trying to navigate my grief as it is.

I’m fine to stay opted in as I don’t have any difficulties associated with Mother’s Day, so receiving those emails don’t bother me - but if it helps someone grieving, or estranged or anything else then I’m glad it has that impact. So those emails aren’t aimed at me, and that’s fine.

I used to opt out and was very glad to have the option my mum died when I was a teenager and I suffered several miscarriages so daily Mother’s Day email were not welcome.
Shops are different because you know to not go or avoid those aisles. Several daily reminders via email were harder to avoid.
These opt outs are more like what I experienced at school just after she died, if a lesson would revolve around something to with mothers my teachers would take me to one side and ask if I wanted to leave.
I did get some to opt of Valentine’s Day this year too.

@Newtonn

Checking my emails (which are full of random places I've ordered online from), I've noticed many companies asking if I want to opt out of receiving emails advertising mothers' day.

I thought it was a weird coincidence to read a few with the same subject line and content and upon googling, I've found out this is now common, but it's bypassed me for a couple of years.

I understand it's not a happy time for everyone, and not everyone will celebrate, but I'm a bit bemused by the idea that it's really upsetting for an email from Asda that features an offer currently available on a bunch a flowers / bottle of Baileys to land in someone's email inbox.

Lots of people struggle with all sorts every day. Christmas is harder for some people. Valentine's day. And the associated tat is all over the real world (and social media), so aibu to think this is unlikely to really help anyone?

Maybe it’s aimed at people who had better relationships with their mothers than you.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Two of my children have died.

There are many things that could be done to make the lives of bereaved parents a tiny bit easier. This is one of them.

Is it really so bemusing that parents who have had their child die in their arms don't wish to have emails reminding them about mothers day celebrations?

I am so sorry, it is a horrific experience to lost a child. To lose two is beyond my comprehension.

@Liquorishtoffee

They’ve been doing it for a while (Father’s Day too).

I think it’s silly - even though I’ve lost both parents and, yes it’s bloody tough - the world doesn’t revolve around me and I can’t expect everyone else to pussy foot around the topic. You can’t avoid it.

If I want to unsubscribe, I’ll click unsubscribe - they’ve already sent the email.

They're not pussyfooting around you though.

They're asking if you would personally prefer not to receive that specific marketing message. They're not asking your permission to place an ad on a billboard.

They know full well that if you unsubscribe, you won't get any of their other marketing messages. It's smart.

Well logically, they know some people wont want to be reminded of mothers day. So either give them the option to opt out of reminders for that particular event or the person will unsubscribe from all your marketing emails and you lose money.

For what it’s worth, I think I also received emails allowing me to opt out of Valentine’s Day emails this year, so it’s not like Mother’s Day is singled out.

I’m bemused that the OP can’t see why some people may like this option. Even if it is a marketing ploy, if it makes people feel better what’s the harm?

I lost my mum as a teenager and for many years Mother’s Day was hard. The emails don’t really upset me (maybe they would have in the first few years) but people’s insensitivity is sometimes amazing: if I’ve turned up to a wedding dress appointment with just my sister and no mum, there’s probably a bloody good reason for that and asking if I’ll come back with mum is weird and insensitive 🙄 Or a previous headteacher sending a blanket ‘don’t work today, make sure you spend some time with your mum!’ Email to all staff - again I just ignored it but a colleague was appalled for me and I think others would have been more upset.

I can only imagine how hard MD must be for those who can’t have children, have suffered pregnancy loss or have lost a child. I don’t see why it’s bemusing they’d want to opt out of emails.

I am glad that the option of opting out is offered. It won't stop all reminders and things that may be upsetting, but it will help some people I am sure.

I'm happy that this service is offered but hope that I don't have to unsubscribe every year and that they can remember that my address doesn't want Mothers Day marketing.

I too have only noticed this for the first time this year. 🤔

I am busy unsubscribing. My mum is dead and I'm not a fan of MD generally (neither was she).

My mum died when I was early 30s. Emails about sodding Mother's Day nearly broke me every year. It's part of the reason i have unsubscribed to all newsletters entirely. Maybe that's why, because it sets some people off to unsubscribing completely. Makes sense.

I don't find the emails upset me too much (mother died 18 months ago, and my father more recently, both very elderly and it wasn't unexpected) but realise some people will find it hard to read about those days, so I understand why there is an opt out. I've opted out, they have no relevance to me.