to ask if you ever wonder about certain posters/threads?

[mxmxm]

i’ve used MN for years, and i often think about particular threads or posters that stuck out to me or i interacted with ages ago that i haven’t been able to find (or just seemed to stop posting without a trace) since then.

anyone else get strangely nostalgic/curious thinking back to threads/posters and wonder what became of them?

I think about one that was going for quite a while last year (can't remember the username) which was a woman in New Zealand I think who felt she had been conned into agreeing to emigrate by her husband. He lied about being given a share of the family business and she felt trapped and unable to bring the kids home.

The last I understood of this was she had been to see a lawyer on the quiet.

The fact that she had to employ fairly underhand tactics to get to the bottom of her in-laws underhand tactics said it all, IMO. She had left her husband. His attitude was pretty much, 'oh well, never mind.' I don't think he realised how much dishonesty was going on with his parents/the family business. He won't take his parents to task because he doesn't want to rock the boat. Their children are having a whale of a time which is great.

Her husband is coming across as babyish. He's a mummy's boy who just wanted to go home, back to New Zealand. He had grown tired of London life and family and marital responsibilities. So taking his wife and children to NZ meant he could go back to his family who are big drinkers. Also, catch up with his brother who has worked for the family firm all these years and his other brother who does not work but is supported in his idleness by mum.

His parents sound as tricky as they come. I suspect they just want their sons to work in the family firm to keep them in their retirement. The family firm might be worthless anyway. There's very little honesty here.

I remember years and years ago a woman with an older son with behavioural issues who lived in very difficult financial circumstances in poor housing (I think there was a rental or landlord issue) and the garage where her things were stored kept being flooded. She had poor physical health. She posted prolifically on one cleaning thread and people were very supportive but she disappeared without trace. I still wonder about her to this day and hope she is ok.

Yes! I do hope they are both ok.

Same @AlternativePerspective re contacting people here and meeting them. Can't imagine ever doing that now.

Sorry , that was supposed to quote @YellowMugPuffin 's post.

@shoesplash

Does anyone remember a thread last year by an OP who had 2 sons and claimed she had "zero authority" over them? I think her username was chiawatermelon or watermelonchia. It ran into a second thread but got deleted...I often wonder if it was genuine/if she had any luck following the advice she was given

Yes, I remember that. IIRC she had no actual interest in solving the problem, was just giving in to the children at the first hint of a whine from them, and was effectively a servant, cooking multiple meals for each child only for them to say they had changed their mind so wanted X instead, so she’d cook X and then they’d decide they wanted Y. Trying to get her to see reason was completely frustrating. She was just hand-wringing and saying she couldn’t do it.

@WithMyOldCockLinnet

I think about the poster who escaped an abusive DH - he had video cameras installed all over the house.

Her thread started with an upset over a ruined birthday for her 8 year old because the DH said she had been too long collecting the cake.

Then it all came out about the cameras, the boy being homeschooled, and she was pregnant.

She left, escaped while he was at work, and went to stay with family.

During the various proceedings she found out that he was actually a bigamist and was using a false name. He had put all their loans in her name.

I think her baby was due last June.

I really hope she is ok.

I recall this too.... I was so desperate for her escape .. Im glad she managed.. I hope she is safe and well 🌺

Does anyone else remember the lady who was going through such a hard time (I think she was an alcoholic) and she was marooned in an American or Canadian hospital where her dh was seriously ill. She posted in the early hours really sad and overwhelmed by her situation and I really felt for her.

@TimeIhadaNameChange

Sorry , that was supposed to quote *@YellowMugPuffin* 's post.

They're both fine (I'm not her I know her), she still posts here under a name change.

I'm of the understanding that in May last year she contacted a barrister and family law/Hague Convention specialist. He was so touched by what is happening (as there's much is more she hasn't written here about the behaviour of her husband and his family) that he contacted her directly.

Regarding splitting their assets - not the 50:50 her husband thinks it will be because of economic disparity, regarding the kids - they are habitual New Zealand residents.

Most of all she's just shocked at the thought of living her life out somewhere she never wanted to live and was coerced into moving to.

Yes I think so. It was such an odd situation. I remember as the thread progressed there seemed be so much more going on. She sounded quite unhappy. I really hope life improved for her. I have searched for the thread but I can't find it. Glad someone else remembers it.

@shoesplash

Does anyone remember a thread last year by an OP who had 2 sons and claimed she had "zero authority" over them? I think her username was chiawatermelon or watermelonchia. It ran into a second thread but got deleted...I often wonder if it was genuine/if she had any luck following the advice she was given

I remember that, the younger one kicked off if she didn't make him what he wanted for breakfast. I can only hope that was a troll thread as she was so ridiculously passive, and those kids were going to get a nasty shock in the real world

“Does anyone remember a thread about a lady whose husband had set up a fish tank in the living room with a massive blue light. Her and the kids couldn't sit in the living room when the light was on, which was about 18hrs a day or something? He said keeping fish made him feel like God! I hope she is OK now.”

That was so odd, wasn't the fish tank really huge, like took up half the room or something?

That was so odd! He was horrible, the DH expected the fish to be the centre of their house and I think people were telling her to get rid of them, or him.

@YellowMugPuffin - thank you so much for letting me know. Please tell her that a random MNer thinks of her often. Mini sounded such a delight, she'll always stick in my memory.

@Mrsfrumble

I remember a poster called Hedgehog, I think, from many years ago. She had 4 children with various health issues, her own mental health wasn’t great and her relationship with the children’s father was pretty rocky. She sticks in my mind because she seemed so downtrodden and vulnerable. I hope she’s okay.

Does anyone else remember the poster with the filthy kitchen who was helped out by mnetters? She’d been suffering from depression and been unable to manage housework for a while, until her kitchen got into such a state she didn’t know where to start. Some lovely mnetters who lived nearby went round to her flat, armed with bleach and marigolds and cleaned up for her, posting about their progress. It was so lovely and heartwarming.

Hedgehog is ok, I’m friends with her on fb. She’s still on MN but found she was relying on it too much for support and decided to step back have some therapy and only posts about trivial stuff now.

As far as I know her marriage is hugely improved, she seems happy. She got a PT job and learnt to drive. 2 more dc as well. I think there were family issues stressing her and once she cut those toxic ties things improved. I messaged her about this thread to let her know she’s remembered.

Is Araiwa still about? I never much liked her posts, very brutal, but always in the first few posts of a thread. She was the first regular posters I recognised

InsaneLockdowner
i recall a thread where a poster was fed up with a bloke that used to pop into her office once a week and take a massive dump in the office loo making the place stench.

That was a troll.

I often think of RedStripeLassie. She posted under a few different user names too always about her waster of a partner who smoked weed like it was going out of fashion.

She got away at one point then took him back and had another baby. Their eldest girl had problems and it wasn't going to be long until they were flagged to SS by school.

I hope she got away and built a better life for her and the children.

@kaco

I seem to remember a poster called PhyllisNights. She used to post around 6-7 yrs ago. I don't know if she name changed or just stopped posting. Her posts always seemed a bit bonkers but funny. The last time I remember her posting was when she was pregnant and quite close to her due date. Does anyone remember her?

Yes! I remember the thread she posted about that. She used to have fajita nights with her friends every Friday. I liked her and when I saw this thread I thought of her. In fact, am a long time lurked and joined to comment!

TrickyTreeLou.

I hope she and her boy are doing well.

I also wonder about a poster who was a single mum to a little girl, and finding things tough for a number of years. Then she met someone, and they moved to an eco community in Wales (like Lammas, possibly even Lammas), and they had a little boy. I so hope it went well for her because it seemed such a risky but amazing thing to do. (I know her posting name, but she may not want it linked if she's still here with a different username).

And another poster who became an egg donor for her (siste) friend. She was a midwife, and it was just such a special thing to do for someone else when you'd that insider knowledge of women's experience of birth and motherhood.

AuntieMabelandPippin - I remember TrickyTreeLou whose DH left suddenly, clearing out all his stuff and even taking the chutney - he was then known as Chunt. He managed to get Lou and the OW pregnant at the same time. I hope Lou and her DS are doing well.

There was one a few weeks ago which got taken down quickly about a woman with physical and mental disabilities who was meant to be self isolating as her care worker had tested positive for Covid but this lady had a skin infection and needed medication urgently but nobody could get it for her so she had to go herself but she was paranoid she would be reported and in her posts it was clear she was working herself into a panic. She had written it as a reverse, am fairly sure, I could tell by the way she posted. Of course she got a hard time. I wonder about her as she was clearly vulnerable.

Re: the Sistine Chapel screamer, I too would love to know where she went next and it she screamed!

I often think about the lady with the fish tank husband. It sounded so awful and I often think of her.

I think and pray for the woman in New Zealand and hope she is ok. My ex was abusive but that’s nothing to being a foreign country being abused by an entire family and the dread of how the next 20 years pans out or your entire life if the children won’t come back to the U.K. as adults.

Another one was called sycamore trees or something and was pregnant and ex husband had cheated. She was having a baby and was a barrister I think - I often think of her.

If anyone knows any of those women and can update I would really appreciate it as I do catch myself thinking about them and hoping they are all ok.

I often think of running in the rain as well and hope she is ok.