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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell every mother on mumsnet...

999 replies

LastRoloIsMine · 25/02/2021 22:18

We nearly lost the word mother and all that comes with it?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4176497-History-in-the-making-Watch-Parliament-Live-at-2-30pm

The maternity bill wanted to remove the word mother/woman and replace it with pregnant person.
Those words are important and women have fought for a century to be recognised yet we were nearly wiped out in favour of belief not fact.

I wont say "I am not transphobic" like some sort of plea! I dont actually have to I am just fighting for womens rights no need for me to explain myself any further.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
Erkrie · 27/02/2021 18:20

I can't think of anyone other than a trans person who may have given birth and wish to be called something other than a mother so to me it appears to be a trans rights issue. If you would care to enlighten me about other people that wish to use another term to describe themselves I'm all ears.

Maternity is a women's rights issue. Not a trans rights issue. Please stop making everything to do with transpeople about women. The law has already decided that anyone who gives birth is a mother. And that is that.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/02/2021 18:20

@Mylittlesandwich

I can't think of anyone other than a trans person who may have given birth and wish to be called something other than a mother so to me it appears to be a trans rights issue. If you would care to enlighten me about other people that wish to use another term to describe themselves I'm all ears.
There has been a very recent court case on just that point.

Ruling: a transman who has given birth is a mother, no matter what his choice of pronoun, GRC etc.

Not, in law, female or a woman, but a mother nonetheless.

So... what other kind of transperson is there that can give birth??

Mylittlesandwich · 27/02/2021 18:20

@MrsBrunch is that you're favourite word?

Yes I take the points on board that I should have actually included my opinion in my first post but I'm just fed up with so many threads like this. I usually manage to hide them but I guess tonight I'd just had enough. I didn't mean to tell anyone to fuck off though. It was an emotional reaction and I apologise for that.

Mylittlesandwich · 27/02/2021 18:21

*your

Erkrie · 27/02/2021 18:22

I should probably turn that around to say making everything to do with women about transpeople. It isn't. Women have their own needs and rights which need to be made clear in law. And they have been.

Erkrie · 27/02/2021 18:23

I'm just fed up with so many threads like this

Well I find threads about dogs, make up, drag and fashion boring. So what do I do about that? Absolutely nothing. I scroll on by.

Mylittlesandwich · 27/02/2021 18:23

This is what I don't understand. Nobody is stopping you from referring to yourself or other people you know by the phrase "mother". If you called me one I'd feel you were being a little formal but I wouldn't be offended. By allowing people to use other terms it's just allowing them to be acknowledged and accepted. Nobody is going to be arrested by calling themselves a mother.

MrsBrunch · 27/02/2021 18:24

[quote Mylittlesandwich]@MrsBrunch is that you're favourite word?

Yes I take the points on board that I should have actually included my opinion in my first post but I'm just fed up with so many threads like this. I usually manage to hide them but I guess tonight I'd just had enough. I didn't mean to tell anyone to fuck off though. It was an emotional reaction and I apologise for that.[/quote]
Maybe instead of knee jerk hiding them, you could actually read what people are saying. We are talking about using the word mother in legislation that only mother's need.

How does that somehow get turned into a transgender issue? What Rolo is saying, if you care to read it, is that transmen who give birth are mothers and are therefore included in the protection the legislation provides, not excluded.

TheChampagneGalop · 27/02/2021 18:24

Such aggression towards mothers who simply think that the word mother needs to be included in a maternity bill and not removed. What is up with this misogyny?

Clymene · 27/02/2021 18:24

'So many threads' talking about the creeping erosion of women's rights to single sex spaces, to language that isn't dehumanising and that protects our specific rights.

What a bunch of evil fucking harridans eh? Hmm

Mylittlesandwich · 27/02/2021 18:24

@Erkrie

I'm just fed up with so many threads like this

Well I find threads about dogs, make up, drag and fashion boring. So what do I do about that? Absolutely nothing. I scroll on by.

These threads aren't seeking to alter or not alter laws though... generally.
youvegottenminuteslynn · 27/02/2021 18:25

@Clymene

'So many threads' talking about the creeping erosion of women's rights to single sex spaces, to language that isn't dehumanising and that protects our specific rights.

What a bunch of evil fucking harridans eh? Hmm

Burn the witches, nothing but trouble us women are we?
tilder · 27/02/2021 18:25

Thank you for the thread.

For those saying this sort of thing should stay in FWR. Seriously? It's a thread about women. Women's rights. Maternity rights. Getting pregnant. What people who do that sort of thing are called.

Remind me again what this website is called? Mumsnet. Not Personnet. Clues in the name.

Yes some men do post. We might not all be a mum. I certainly wasn't when I started posting. Doesn't change the reality of the website.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 27/02/2021 18:27

@Mylittlesandwich

These threads aren't seeking to alter or not alter laws though... generally.

Wait... so TRAs supported the wording of a law about maternity being changed, many women expressed concerns and then relief when the wording wasn't changed, but in doing so it's those women who have inconvenienced you?!

Original poster
LastRoloIsMine · 27/02/2021 18:27

Mylittlesandwich

I am fed up with being to that as a woman I must shut up, move over, be kind, not voice my concerns, not ask questions, not ask for support and being told I cannot post on a mainstream chat forum unless I post out of sight.

Please do share your concerns about the word mother being used in a maternity bill. If not then I suggest you dont upset yourself further and hide the thread.

OP posts:
MrsBrunch · 27/02/2021 18:27

This thread isn't seeking to alter the law, it's about women trying to keep the laws that already exist for them.

Clymene · 27/02/2021 18:28

And for the record (again) this is about protecting all women's and mothers' rights - even if there are a handful of mothers who would prefer not to use the term for themselves. No one is taking away any rights from trans people.

Erkrie · 27/02/2021 18:29

Well there's no problem then. For all the women who give birth, their rights are enshrined in law. For the three or so transmen who give birth? They're covered too. And quite rightly so. How they wish to refer to themselves in their own lives is entirely up to them. The vast majority of women who have children will describe themselves as a mother. It's not reasonable to change the language that women use to describe themselves just because some people have identified out of womanhood and the language that surrounds them.

MrsBrunch · 27/02/2021 18:29

@LastRoloIsMine

Mylittlesandwich

I am fed up with being to that as a woman I must shut up, move over, be kind, not voice my concerns, not ask questions, not ask for support and being told I cannot post on a mainstream chat forum unless I post out of sight.

Please do share your concerns about the word mother being used in a maternity bill. If not then I suggest you dont upset yourself further and hide the thread.

This is why No is my new favourite word Wink
Cailleachian · 27/02/2021 18:30

@Mylittlesandwich

"I can't think of anyone other than a trans person who may have given birth and wish to be called something other than a mother"

Someone who missed the 28 week abortion deadline and had the child adopted at birth?

Erkrie · 27/02/2021 18:30

These threads aren't seeking to alter or not alter laws though... generally.

We're protecting our existing rights, not altering them.

Mylittlesandwich · 27/02/2021 18:30

[quote Cailleachian]@Mylittlesandwich

"I can't think of anyone other than a trans person who may have given birth and wish to be called something other than a mother"

Someone who missed the 28 week abortion deadline and had the child adopted at birth?[/quote]
Then changing the wording would support them too.

Original poster
LastRoloIsMine · 27/02/2021 18:31

These threads aren't seeking to alter or not alter laws though... generally.

Read my OP.

I was alerting mumsnet to the event that happened regarding the maternity bill.
This bill nearly passed with the word mother removed as it was so under the radar.

I felt that given the majority of mumsnt members are women and mothers they should at least know about it.

Why is that wrong of me?

OP posts:
Datun · 27/02/2021 18:32

@Mylittlesandwich

I can't think of anyone other than a trans person who may have given birth and wish to be called something other than a mother so to me it appears to be a trans rights issue. If you would care to enlighten me about other people that wish to use another term to describe themselves I'm all ears.
The bill is about their rights, not about what they want to be called.

Their rights on maternity, are being upheld.

Lord. Go-ahead, and shoot yourself in the foot why don't you!

Clymene · 27/02/2021 18:32

[quote Cailleachian]@Mylittlesandwich

"I can't think of anyone other than a trans person who may have given birth and wish to be called something other than a mother"

Someone who missed the 28 week abortion deadline and had the child adopted at birth?[/quote]
Your repeated use of abortion to make a point is distasteful.

The woman is still legally the baby's mother.