That my partner has chosen not to work?

[MoneyWorries122456]

I just wanted some advice as to whether I am being unreasonable to my partner. When we met we both had good jobs (him earning slightly more than me) and planned for a good lifestyle for the future (£100k joint income). He gave up his job 18 months ago (pre-covid) with the intention to be self-employed so we didn't have to worry about childcare. I had no expectations for him to earn what he was earning before, just 15-20 hours a week to contribute to the two salary household expenses. Fast forward 18 months he hasn't bothered to work and has left me in tears with money worries every month as to worry how we are to afford to cover the basics. I have been paying both halves of our bills but just recently my credit card 0% deals have come to an end (I usually pay off a large chunk and then shift). Unfortunately he has left my finances in such a state by not bothering to work that I can no longer shift as they are maxed to the limit. I'm heartbroken that he can't see me crumbling under the pressure. He orchestrated a row today whilst he was (finally) applying for jobs; I assume to get out of applying. I just wanted to know if anyone else has this trouble and what to do?

Is the Op certain that her partner would apply for full custody of their child if she tried to split? It may be her fears regarding her first child. Some men have absolutely no interest in taking on full time childcare.

As for wondering if the current partner will step up at some stage, only the Op can ascertain that. But sometimes people in relationships decide they want to give up working and rely on the other partner financially.

My partner's ex wife decided to cut back on her work quite early in their marriage. She went from full-time permanent employment to part time supply work of four days which dwindled to a couple of days intermittently. No children . She was happy for partner to cover the mortgage and bills, used her income for personal expenses.

He wasn't happy about it as she didn't cook and did little domestics. When they divorced she ended up with 50% of substantial assets including shares plus maintenance to retirement. Managed to persuade the judge that she didn't have the confidence to get a full time job.