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Original poster

Piss off, Pam!

999 replies

FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 12:38

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
aweegc · 24/02/2021 14:08

@HOkieCOkie

I’m sorry but I agree with Pam, first off all why can’t lll keep things to themselves anymore and how on earth does having ADHD make you a priority??
RTFT Or alternatively just read the OP's posts which you can filter for.
ThePlantsitter · 24/02/2021 14:08

@HOkieCOkie

I’m sorry but I agree with Pam, first off all why can’t lll keep things to themselves anymore and how on earth does having ADHD make you a priority??
FFS you only have to read the opening post to see the answer to your second question. Are you being deliberately goady?
curlyLJ · 24/02/2021 14:08

@HOkieCOkie

I’m sorry but I agree with Pam, first off all why can’t lll keep things to themselves anymore and how on earth does having ADHD make you a priority??
Oh I do wish people would RTFT.

ADHD is NOT the reason her DH has been offered the vaccine. He has a lung/respiratory condition!

SoulofanAggron · 24/02/2021 14:08

It particularly annoyed me when people started updating their profile pics with those “I’ve had mine” banners. Just why?

@Bubbletube I've not seen those but maybe people thiink it'll encourage others to have it, as there are going to be a fair few vaccine refusers.

The article was about how we're doing well and how anyone who can be vaccinated should be and ought to book in as soon as they get the invitations and not to delay

@FuckingFabulous Ah ok. Yes, so the above is part of what you were doing. Nothing wrong with that. As many people should be getting the jab as possible.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 24/02/2021 14:08

@cuddlymunchkin

Why did you advertise getting the jab? What did you expect to achieve? You must have known that if you keep your husband's condition a secret then people would speculate as to why he qualified for one so early on. So yes, let people know if you want to but have a bit of sense and make it clear why.

You could have saved yourself a whole lot of bother if you hadn't felt the need to brag about it on FB.

Ok Pam.
BergamotMouse · 24/02/2021 14:09

I can't imagine she'd say all this if she wasn't angling for a fight.

I'd send her a message saying 'thank you for showing me the kind of person you really are, with that in mind we won't be seeing you or having contact with you again'

Then block. If you lay into her I think you'll be giving her what she wants.

littlepattilou · 24/02/2021 14:09

@cuddlymunchkin

Why did you advertise getting the jab? What did you expect to achieve? You must have known that if you keep your husband's condition a secret then people would speculate as to why he qualified for one so early on. So yes, let people know if you want to but have a bit of sense and make it clear why.

You could have saved yourself a whole lot of bother if you hadn't felt the need to brag about it on FB.

You have already posted this same post further back. Why post it again? Didn't enough posters take your bait?

@cuddlymunchkin

Ah but - littlepattilou - did you put a FB post up to boast about it to the world? That is the difference.

And yeah I did put it on facebook. I changed my profile pic so it had a frame around it saying 'I have had the covid vaccine.' Like 15 or so other people on my friends list.

It's really no big deal and it's ludicrous that people are afraid to talk about having it.

And you are not 'bragging to the world' - only the people on your friends list will see it.

I know/know of 13 or 14 people who had the covid vaccine between late January and mid February, and only 4 of them were over 60, and most of them had no underlying conditions. I was pleased for them! I was secretly hoping me and DH would get it soon, but I didn't throw shade on those getting it, and berate and resent them for it!

As @dunairbeanat said, surely people should be pleased that others have got it. It takes a pretty mean-spirited and spiteful character to resent others getting the covid jab, just because THEY haven't been offered it.

cuddlymunchkin · 24/02/2021 14:10

No, not Pamela because I agree with the vaccine rollout and people receiving it.

I think the boasting on FB is another issue.

Why the boast? Without the explanation?

ItsJackieWeaverBitch · 24/02/2021 14:11

@HOkieCOkie

I’m sorry but I agree with Pam, first off all why can’t lll keep things to themselves anymore and how on earth does having ADHD make you a priority??
Then you clearly didn’t read the OP properly as ADHD is not the reason the OP’s husband is in group 6, he has another health condition. He just happens to have ADHD too. The OP is a carer for her ill/disabled child. Carers are also in group 6 for bloody good reason, imo people like OP should have been a higher priority than that.

Also “agree with Pam” Hmm so you think it’s ok to bully people online and make nasty remarks about their disabilities? Nice.

Anna12345678910 · 24/02/2021 14:11

Pam is a prat, a pig and a pillock.

Ignore Pam or block her.

Souther · 24/02/2021 14:12

I would go no contact and block.
As far as I'd be concerned she isnt any family of mine.
Dont waste your time on replying to idiots.

Original poster
FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 14:12

To the person who said it doesn't sound like anyone in my house is particularly vulnerable. We are group six. Five other priority groups came before us. People who were extremely vulnerable. However, our situation/conditions mean that we are in group six. Sorry if you don't think we are worthy. The government disagrees.

And to everyone on here who seem to be sympathising with Pam and her spite and envy, mentioning my bragging about my special category- are you also jealous of me having to dress my teen and take her to the toilet and attend to her personal hygiene? Are you all green with envy imagining the number of appointments I need to attend with her? The number of times she's been admitted to hospital or all the nights I haven't been able to sleep because she hasn't been able to either? Wish you had to literally pin your child down with your body during attacks and episodes which she would unintentionally injure herself through if you didn't? Think you'd quite like the task of cleaning up food and drink from the walls and floor where it's been thrown because she can't control her movements? And if you were like me, still reeling from and learning all about this condition that came on out of absolutely nowhere last year, I'm sure you'd feel really special and superior. Confused

Now THAT is the kind of thing I don't put on social media owing to my DD's right to privacy.

Carers might be in group six because we tick a box, but have you any concept of what goes into that tick??

OP posts:
cuddlymunchkin · 24/02/2021 14:12

Who knows how many are on her friend list, the point is that she's bragging about getting the jab when she absolutely knows other people on her list are upset at not receiving it. She knows it looks like she has got the jab ahead of time because she put no explanation with her post.

Thatwentbadly · 24/02/2021 14:12

I would say as you asked and reply with a list of all the reasons why people under 50 might be in this group and ask which one of these illnesses/careers or life situations she would like for life.

Probably not the most diplomatic.

LouJ85 · 24/02/2021 14:13

Pam sounds like a weapons grade arse.

😂😂

Original poster
FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 14:13

@HOkieCOkie

I’m sorry but I agree with Pam, first off all why can’t lll keep things to themselves anymore and how on earth does having ADHD make you a priority??
If only people could read the entire original post.....
OP posts:
FlowerFluffer · 24/02/2021 14:13

Posting about being vaccinated is not boasting.

It’s actually valuable to normalise getting the jab.

More than half of the people I’ve spoken to have worries about its safety - especially the older folk.

Seeing people you know getting something done is reassuring.

Cocolapew · 24/02/2021 14:14

It doesn't, read the thread.

LouJ85 · 24/02/2021 14:14

@FuckingFabulous

To the person who said it doesn't sound like anyone in my house is particularly vulnerable. We are group six. Five other priority groups came before us. People who were extremely vulnerable. However, our situation/conditions mean that we are in group six. Sorry if you don't think we are worthy. The government disagrees.

And to everyone on here who seem to be sympathising with Pam and her spite and envy, mentioning my bragging about my special category- are you also jealous of me having to dress my teen and take her to the toilet and attend to her personal hygiene? Are you all green with envy imagining the number of appointments I need to attend with her? The number of times she's been admitted to hospital or all the nights I haven't been able to sleep because she hasn't been able to either? Wish you had to literally pin your child down with your body during attacks and episodes which she would unintentionally injure herself through if you didn't? Think you'd quite like the task of cleaning up food and drink from the walls and floor where it's been thrown because she can't control her movements? And if you were like me, still reeling from and learning all about this condition that came on out of absolutely nowhere last year, I'm sure you'd feel really special and superior. Confused

Now THAT is the kind of thing I don't put on social media owing to my DD's right to privacy.

Carers might be in group six because we tick a box, but have you any concept of what goes into that tick??

Sad This sounds heartbreaking, your poor DD.
Summersun2020 · 24/02/2021 14:14

“Boasting” is such a weird way to look at it. Well all get it eventually, it’s being rolled out really efficiently. The more people are vaccinated the quicker we will get back to normal. Every vaccination is good news for EVERYONE. People are honestly pathetic 🙄

LouJ85 · 24/02/2021 14:15

@Summersun2020

“Boasting” is such a weird way to look at it. Well all get it eventually, it’s being rolled out really efficiently. The more people are vaccinated the quicker we will get back to normal. Every vaccination is good news for EVERYONE. People are honestly pathetic 🙄

Agree.
Apparently everything you share on FB these days is "bragging".Hmm

Thelnebriati · 24/02/2021 14:16

Can Pam explain how they can vaccinate all of us simultaneously, or does she think they should vaccinate everyone called Pam first?

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 24/02/2021 14:16

@LesLavandes

Why did you name her'Pam'?
Why not?
hannayeah · 24/02/2021 14:16

I am really happy to know who has gotten it. It is a relief to me when people at risk or in roles like yours get it so that I don’t have to worry I’ll pass it to them. (I’m in US so not locked down.)

I’m laughing at her over 50 comment. Since when did that become a high risk category? Most of the over 50s around me are in marvelous condition and have no cause for concern.

I’d not bother with Pam or any of the people that egged her on ever again. She’s purposely obtuse and a bully.

SoulofanAggron · 24/02/2021 14:16

I'm having the jab this eve (have well-controlled asthma.)

Just posted on FB:-

'Having my Covid jab tonight (I have well-controlled asthma.) I've heard that some people get aggro when they hear others have had the jab. The reason I'm posting is I want to encourage everyone to have it. If anyone doesn't have it, they're putting others and themselves at risk because it increases the chances it'll mutate to become more dangerous to everyone.'

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