Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Piss off, Pam!

999 replies

FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 12:38

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Branleuse · 24/02/2021 13:44

Id defriend Pam and all the people who heart reacted her, after calling her rude and bitter

LazyName · 24/02/2021 13:44

@Usagi12

I should tell you to leave it but if it was me I'd certainly TELL Pam how it fucking is in no uncertain terms. Wouldn't do it privately either, if she wants a public row I'd give her one. Probably best you ignore my advice though 🤣🤣
I’d do the same family or not she sounds like a right old cow Shock
Summersun2020 · 24/02/2021 13:44

@Rillington

Why did you need to broadcast that you had, had the vaccine?
What difference does this make??

OP, pam sounds like a prize cunt. In fact, I would message her on fb “pam, you’re a prize cunt”. Then block. Flowers

FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 13:44

@MyGazeboisLeaking

OP - 'Pam' is an absolute twat but you've brought this on yourself.

People are desperate for the vaccine and publicly stating you / your husband has had it when you know that your wider family don't know about his conditions is just asking for resentment.

You should have kept it to yourself, not a potentially 'well done NHS'.

*ive also had the vaccine early because of DD. Haven't told anyone.

My wider family absolutely do know about his underlying condition. They just don't all know about his ADHD. Pam does. And since she's a massive gob flapper, they probably do all know actually.
OP posts:
MrsToadlike · 24/02/2021 13:44

I tell you what OP, with 'family' like this who needs enemies! I'm curious whether Pam's mask has fallen off here or whether you always knew she was like this. Not to mention the people responding. So toxic.

ThePlantsitter · 24/02/2021 13:45

If you don't have the self control to ignore (I'm fairly sure I wouldn't) try to think of the most constructive and positive argument you can that she won't be able to contradict. Something about how every person vaccinated helps protect every other person or that when you were offered it it was your civic duty to have it and turning it down would've been irresponsible or praising most people who are being patient and understand that there's a logical order to the way they're doing it.

There's no doubt she's a horrid old twat but spiralling into a big insult exchange isn't going to help you feel less annoyed.

littlepandawantstoplay · 24/02/2021 13:45

Who needs enemies when you have relatives like Pam and those charlatans cheering you. You can all fuck off, the whole lot of you. We don't need you fuckers in our life who can't even be pleased that we are getting a vaccine where the NHS, Gov and scientific advisors know that we are vulnerable hence why they put us in cat 6. Thank god you aren't leading the programme Pam, you idiot. You vile wretched being.

FuckingFabulous

FirewomanSam · 24/02/2021 13:45

Someone on our NextDoor group mentioned having the jab and that they were in their forties. Someone responded saying ‘you should consider yourself very lucky, I know some people much older than you who are still waiting’.

They politely replied that they were very happy to have had the jab but that having a health condition that makes them extremely vulnerable doesn’t exactly make them feel ‘lucky’!

Rillington · 24/02/2021 13:45

@FuckingFabulous I am Group 4 so had mine ages ago. I haven't told anyone apart from my parents. I haven't been 'vocal' about it. There are people scared to death of catching it. It's great that you and your DH have had it but why tell everyone.

LimitIsUp · 24/02/2021 13:45

Horrible, horrible comments from Pam which are inexcusable.

However, as you said:
"and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it"

It is prudent not to post on facebook that you have had the jab for this reason.

SunshineCake · 24/02/2021 13:45

Anyone who had joined in with Pam's immaturity would be out of my contacts forever. Why mention the ADHD if not the reason he has the jab? He clearly meets the criteria. The NHS isn't giving the jabs without careful planning.

Some people are just too stupid and self obsessed to think beyond their own world.

anynamewilldo2021 · 24/02/2021 13:45

I'm with the others. Pam is indeed a cunt.

Making hurtful public comments. What a nasty piece of work.

I wouldn't respond any further. Ignore her entirely.

Ori21 · 24/02/2021 13:46

She sounds like a truly horrible person. Don't have any more to do with her, on Facebook, minimise your RL contact with her as much as possible. Those comments are nothing short of cruel.

LouJ85 · 24/02/2021 13:46

You're showing off about having the vaccine. You must have known it would rile other people. Why boast?

Oh my good god. Is this for real? I've seen many, many an update on my FB newsfeed about people getting the vaccine whilst I can't (currently pregnant and not advised), and my response is "great! More people getting vaccinated against this awful illness". Because these people are my colleagues, family, and friends, so I'm happy for them.

Why is anyone getting "riled" about people protecting themselves? Bizarre.

LizzieBirmingham · 24/02/2021 13:46

blood is thicker than water, Pam is thicker than both

🤣

grannyinapram · 24/02/2021 13:46

@LesLavandes

Why did you name her'Pam'?
oh god is this another name you can't use because its offensive for some reason?
SleepingStandingUp · 24/02/2021 13:47

Normal world: tell people something, statement of fact.

MN: you're just bragging and when people call you vile names it's basically justice on you showing off to the world . You're a terrible human being.

Op you did nothing wrong. Of you posted you're stuck at the station on your way to work would you be bragging to the people who don't have work? If you mention a day trip with DD are you bragging to the people who can't have kids? No.

And it may well be that someone who saw the post didn't realised they qualified as a carer, called the docs and got their appt sorted. Which is a good things unless you're Aprilx

ArnoldBee · 24/02/2021 13:47

Hubby and I have had our jabs this week. Now some people might think we don't deserve it but to put it bluntly they don't live our life full of multiple trips to A and E.

Ori21 · 24/02/2021 13:47

Oh - and this is why I don't do FB. I don't need that kind of shit in my life.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 24/02/2021 13:47

I don't think she ment your dhs ADHD is the reason for him being an idiots. Sounds like she just thinks he's an idiot.
Does she know you are a carer for your dd?

She was rude. Just say "there's o point arguing with stupid" and block, but then I probably wouldn't post on fb about having a vaccine because it's doesn't sound like anyone I'm your household is very vulnerable so there were obviously going to be people who would be annoyed that you were offered the vaccine ahead of them.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 24/02/2021 13:48

Uh oh. First it was the 'because I'm not a selfish bastard' brigade. Now, hot on their heels, come the Pointy Elbow Brigade.

Waste of headspace, font-space and breath communicating with any of them.

I'll be getting my jab the minute I'm invited for it. I'm not the one who makes the decision as to when this happens.

Block, without further explanation.

FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 13:48

To the people who are wondering why I would post about vaccination, I genuinely do think it's cause for celebration and that if we're on group six and storming through it, all the other groups are not too far behind at all. I see it as a hopeful message that we are on our way out of this! I've seen literally dozens of people posting about their vaccine or changing their profile picture to have a frame by NHS England saying they'll be getting it or that they've had it. I was very taken aback to be met with such spite over it!

Pam is an aunt, by the way.

OP posts:
FirewomanSam · 24/02/2021 13:48

it's doesn't sound like anyone I'm your household is very vulnerable

Her husband has a respiratory condition!

PerpendicularVincent · 24/02/2021 13:52

I maybe wouldn't have broadcast it but it certainly doesn't warrant the nasty responses you received. You deserve the vaccine and don't need to justify it.

Pam sounds pathetic with her 'magic key' bollocks. Seriously, just block the fucker.

Summersun2020 · 24/02/2021 13:52

@FuckingFabulous I posted on FB and insta when I had mine OP, and don’t care who it upset. You’ve done nothing wrong.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread