Piss off, Pam!

[FuckingFabulous]

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

I don't understand why people are posting their private medical / personal situation on FB though.

Why not?

I don’t get the posting about it either... I have Rheumatoid arthritis, I take immunosuppressant drugs by injection, I am in my forties, not overweight and have not yet been offered the vaccine. I’m ok with that. A close family member who is a GP has expressed surprise that I haven’t yet been invited for a vaccine and says I should chase the surgery. I’m ok with not doing that as they say all over their website and social media to not contact them about the vaccine. Someone I went to uni with posted about their vaccine appointment, on FB, I don’t know them well enough to know why they have been invited, but I think it’s odd to post about it. I don’t tell anyone about my chronic illness IRL, not even my employer knows. I find people who are genuinely ill often don’t shout about it, let alone paste it all over social media. I certainly won’t be sharing my vaccination status once it happens, whenever that may be.

@PuggyMum

I don't understand why people are posting their private medical / personal situation on FB though. It invites this kind of response.

People are being encouraged to tell others that they have been vaccinated in the hope it will also persuade others. I think it's great so many in the UK have been vaccinated. I dont think OP dod anything wrong and she definitely wasnt bragging. I'm not on Facebook but I imagine its the type of thing people would post. It's not her fault some of her family members are vicious bullies. Well done OP I think your reply was perfect. Now forget about them.

@Clarinsmum

I don’t get the posting about it either... I have Rheumatoid arthritis, I take immunosuppressant drugs by injection, I am in my forties, not overweight and have not yet been offered the vaccine. I’m ok with that. A close family member who is a GP has expressed surprise that I haven’t yet been invited for a vaccine and says I should chase the surgery. I’m ok with not doing that as they say all over their website and social media to not contact them about the vaccine. Someone I went to uni with posted about their vaccine appointment, on FB, I don’t know them well enough to know why they have been invited, but I think it’s odd to post about it. I don’t tell anyone about my chronic illness IRL, not even my employer knows. I find people who are genuinely ill often don’t shout about it, let alone paste it all over social media. I certainly won’t be sharing my vaccination status once it happens, whenever that may be.

Sllyes clearly most of the people on here who have said they've had it for illness or caring responsibilities are lying and faking.

And whilst I agree about not hassling them in general, if it's clear you've been missed it's helpful for them to know as it means your records probably are missing something

@LouJ85

See! Point proven in the past few quotes from two different posters...

"If you don't announce things, she won't be able to upset you"

And

"You knew she was like that, you shouldn't be surprised by the backlash"

Would anyone honestly say those things of someone who'd been a nasty twat in a face to face conversation with the OP? That she shouldn't have opened her mouth in the first place so it's her own fault?

Nope - this is what people think others should accept because they dare to use social media. That's what this is really about.

Here @LouJ85

Well, this thread has resulted in me not feeling comfortable telling anyone except my DP and DC that I’ve now had my vaccine (had it last night). What a funny old world

I'm so pleased you replied to her the way you did. None of them deserve any contact with you again.
By the way i've had my vaccine. I'm 63 no underlying conditions and no caring responsibilities. I've no idea why I got it but my surgery rang and invited me so I went. I don't feel guilty I trust they are just powering through everybody in my area.

@Changeychange1

Well, this thread has resulted in me not feeling comfortable telling anyone except my DP and DC that I’ve now had my vaccine (had it last night). What a funny old world

Tell everyone, it helps seperate your friends from the dicks

I'd go mental on Pam and block her

@MrsKFZeeeeee

Yeah I already clarified further up thread - the gist of your comment is OP shouldn't have posted on FB if she didn't want those response because she "put it out there". I still think that's rubbish. You can put what you like on your own social media account - it's up to those with vile judgmental tongues that they can't control to either unfollow you or learn some self control. I fundamentally do not agree with blaming the poster - unless they are posting a deliberately offensive or aggressive post - why should they moderate what they share on their own account?!

I'm high risk for corona virus. My DD is much higher risk than me. I will be jumping for joy when she posts on Facebook that she's had the jab, not bitching about her getting it ahead of me. Same with all her friends and family I expect. It's the sort of news everyone who cares about her are waiting for. Even my elderly MIL keeps asking if she's had it yet.

There's no excuse for Pam and her minions.

I find people who are genuinely ill often don’t shout about it, let alone paste it all over social media. I certainly won’t be sharing my vaccination status once it happens, whenever that may be.

You've got me. Obviously, the fact that took thirty seconds to explain to Pam that I'm a carer and that DH is in group 6 for medical reasons, none of it is actually worth being in that group for. Gosh darn it! I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling strangers!!

Surely the fact that Pam was wondering what "magic key" we had managed to get hold of should communicate to you that actually, I don't have a plethora of medical information online that she could have reminded herself with?

[quote MrsKFZeeeeee]@FuckingFabulous as I said you should have deleted her a long time ago. I am of the mindset that the more people who get it for whatever reason, which is incidentally none of my business, the better.
You knew she was like that, so shouldn't be surprised by the backlash
People are just wankers sometimes but you put it out there[/quote]
This is what I said. I had previously said what a fool her aunt is and why hadn't she blocked her the minute she she was vile about her husband. You put things on SM and unfortunately open yourself up

@dontdisturbmenow

I don't think it was silly to share what we are actually being encouraged to share, which is positive vaccine news Because people don't hear every day in the news? Do they really need to hear it from individuals? I don't think so.

It is bragging, pure and simple. Her reaction was more in response to your bragging than you and OH actually getting it, although she let her frustration run wild.

There is govt funded programme encouraging community champions to talk about the vaccine, post vaccine behaviour, the roadmap - the govt want us to talk about getting the vaccine to 'normalise' inoculation so those communities who have concerns can be addressed/reassured.

Some of the comments here are shocking.

Pam is a wanker. End of.

You put things on SM and unfortunately open yourself up

I still disagree - see my previous comment. I hate this attitude of "opening yourself up". Unless you're being a complete twat, deliberately offensive and aggressive to others, why shouldn't you post what the hell you like?! Why should you anticipate and accept other people's bullshit? Why isn't the onus on those dickheads to control themselves, as opposed to this attitude of "well, you posted it, so what do you expect?". Hate it.

@Houseofvelour

Some of the comments here are shocking.

Pam is a wanker. End of.

I agree. Pam isn't posting nasty shit attacking a stranger online. This is her neice she's attacking. Her family. She's scum.

Because she, a perfectly healthy woman in her 50s, has to wait a few more weeks than we do, she chose to be absolutely vile about the reasons why we are in group six. That's the outrage
That's fair enough although I do agree with her that in family of two parents, I don't see why carers should take priority either. Losing a parent as a child is devastating whether they were a full time parent or not.

Saying that, I've made it clear that her reaction was unacceptable and rude, and totally inappropriate, but I still think you had no reason but to brag by posting it in the first place especially if you'd already posted about the benefit of vaccination before.

Pam isn't posting nasty shit attacking a stranger online. This is her neice she's attacking. Her family. She's scum.

Exactly! Are people missing this?! Let's not forget that the lovely "Aunty" Pam is choosing to both follow online and verbally attack her niece! Neither of which she needs to do if she was capable of some self control and human decency...

@dontdisturbmenow OP isn't a carer in the sense of SAHP - she provides actually physical and medical care for her child.
How the fuck can you begrudge someone who has to do that anything? Are you being goady or are you just a terrible person?

There is govt funded programme encouraging community champions to talk about the vaccine, post vaccine behaviour, the roadmap - the govt want us to talk about getting the vaccine to 'normalise' inoculation so those communities who have concerns can be addressed/reassured
And OP had already shared this since she said she reposted it. So why doing so again just to then announce both she and OH were getting it. No need.

Well, this thread has resulted in me not feeling comfortable telling anyone except my DP and DC that I’ve now had my vaccine (had it last night)
Do you announce when you get the flu jab, your smear test, you go for a blood test?

If you care about encouraging people to get jabs, just post a relevant link.

That's nothing to do with sharing knowledge .

@FuckingFabulous yes I post about smear tests and how important they are. I also share my experiences of postnatal mental illness. Because demystifying and destigmatising health is important.

Anyone who thinks this "invites" people to give you shit and that it is justified is just frankly a massive bellend.

That's fair enough although I do agree with her that in family of two parents, I don't see why carers should take priority either. Losing a parent as a child is devastating whether they were a full time parent or not.

But OP has a child with a disability that requires round the clock care - she's not just a stay at home parent performing everyday duties.

The reason she's had the jab is to stop OP from becoming seriously poorly leaving her daughter without care, as presumably, her husband has to work and no one else would be able to do it.

It is absolutely to do with sharing knowledge - there is ample evidence to suggest that people treat information from 'official sources' in a different way to information received from a trusted friend dontdisturbmenow

As far as this thread is concerned the pointy-elbowed 'cunt canoe', as a PP earlier brilliantly phrased it, must be full to overflowing by now. There are no excuses. The type of people who deliberately pick fights on other people's Facebook timelines are, without exception, arseholes. It's your friend's timeline. If you don't like what they write you are free to unfriend them - I've done this with every single person I've seen posting offensive, racist shit - irrespective of who they are. And if you're too afraid to do that, you can mute.

@FuckingFabulous - you fucking are. Your response was inspired. But it's even more pleasing you've blocked this vitriolic, argumentative harridan and her ever-expanding flock of weak, easily-led, contemptible flying monkeys. When people thrive on confrontation in this way then cutting off their oxygen supply is the only effective response.

Betting also that Aunty Pam is the one family member her relatives privately fight with each other not to have to invite for Christmas. Also, what's the betting she is often heard to say 'I tell it how it is?' We all know what type of person adores that phrase.

She thrives on it. Keep her blocked.