Piss off, Pam!

[FuckingFabulous]

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

@dontdisturbmenow

Raising awareness about the Covid vaccine and potentially encouraging others to also have it so that the whole country can have their lives back, is worlds apart from having a smear Then why wait to have the vaccin to do so? It's easy to post 'I am still waiting for the vaccin, but for all.of you who've been invited, please go for it, I'll wait for my turn'. I've seen a number if 'ive had the vaccin' post on my Facebook, but funnily enough, not once the former!

It's almost as if your own Facebook isn't the benchmark for everyone else's. How surprising.

@MrsKFZeeeeee

Where have I "quoted you out of context"?

I wish Mumsnet had a 'like' button.

It's almost as if your own Facebook isn't the benchmark for everyone else's. How surprising
Absurdly, just don't act so outrage when people don't respond the way you expect them too.

[quote MrsKFZeeeeee]@FuckingFabulous as I said you should have deleted her a long time ago. I am of the mindset that the more people who get it for whatever reason, which is incidentally none of my business, the better.
You knew she was like that, so shouldn't be surprised by the backlash
People are just wankers sometimes but you put it out there[/quote]

Oh you mean this quote.

"You knew she was like that, you should have expected a backlash".

Even within context, I still think it's utter bollocks.

No on should "expect" a backlash just because they dare to use social media. They should "expect" others to be able to control themselves and their choices about what and who they follow online, and the onus is on the person who is a cunt to either step away from the post, have a breather, and not be a public cunt, or unfollow / unfriend. I've seen many a post from people which have annoyed me (these are people who pre Covid, I liked). I have unfollowed them, rather than jump on their posts with my shitty comments. Why? Because I'm not a public cunt to people.

@dontdisturbmenow

It's almost as if your own Facebook isn't the benchmark for everyone else's. How surprising Absurdly, just don't act so outrage when people don't respond the way you expect them too.

I think the only acceptable time for Pamedemic to respond like that would have been if OPs status said ‘my husband said *unt Pam is an idiot’

@dontdisturbmenow The OP was outraged with how rude her aunt was, not because she didn't agree with her. She called her husband names (not for the first time) and dismissed OP's caring responsibilities. This is why the OP was outraged!

I think if someone in a low risk group is jealous of someone in a higher priority group for having the vaccine, they’re a bit of a knob in all honesty.
Yes people are keen to have it. But I am glad I’m not in a high priority group, because it means I don’t have any of the circumstances in my life that make me high priority. And that’s a good thing.

Totally agree.

I think if someone in a low risk group is jealous of someone in a higher priority group for having the vaccine, they’re a bit of a knob in all honesty.
Yes people are keen to have it. But I am glad I’m not in a high priority group, because it means I don’t have any of the circumstances in my life that make me high priority. And that’s a good thing

Aren't they just?!

I'm getting mine tomorrow. I'm 40. I'd be happy to swap my slot with one of the jealous ones, but as others have said, they'd have to be willing to take on my 2 auto immune conditions, my daily struggle with pain, the chronic fatigue that leaves me in tears some days because I don't have the energy to do the most simple tasks.

What I'd give to be able to walk more than 5 minutes without being floored for the next 24-48 hours.

Some people really are childish brats. "You're getting something I'm not and it's not fairrrrrrrrr!" They seem lacking in any critical thinking to determine what getting the vaccine at this point actually means. I do acknowledge there are a few creeping through the net getting it before they're 'entitled' but that's not their fault and I don't blame them for not refusing.

Jesus OP - I would not have been able to stop myself on her FB.

I'd let her and her cronies know that as she knows your DH hasn't got the jab for being ADHD or 'an idiot - as you call him due to his mental health', but because he has a lung condition that means he will be in danger if he catches Covid.

And you have had yours because your dd has serious additional needs that only you can deal with - so if you get Covid, you are both in danger. Throw in a few 'as you damn well know' and a bit about how you would swap your caring duties for her good health any day, and let her 'jump the queue' in exchange.

Add in that the GOVERNMENT have called you, you have not queue-jumped, and therefore she should be directing her hate towards the government.

Make sure her cronies know what she is.

And tag your 'd'father too.

Twats, the lot of them. I would be incandescent and would probably have smacked her face in when she insulted and demeaned your husband - you are a better person than I for NOT doing that!

I nearly posted that I'd had my vaccine the other day, then I saw a friend post she'd had hers.
There was a comment of "how on earth did you jump the queue?". It read really sneery. In friends defence she replied (I'd have told her to FOTTFSOF the nosey cow) that she was a carer for her disabled son. Commenter didn't return.

It's a shame really, I've seen an older relative receive similar comments when he had the vaccine. I kept my mouth shut in the end. There are some strange people out there.

Fuck Pam.

I think if someone in a low risk group is jealous of someone in a higher priority group for having the vaccine, they’re a bit of a knob in all honesty. Yes people are keen to have it. But I am glad I’m not in a high priority group, because it means I don’t have any of the circumstances in my life that make me high priority. And that’s a good thing.

Absolutely this. I'm not even on the priority list! Every time I hear of someone getting a jab (including those who are younger or wfh) it just makes me pleased that there is one more person protected, and so grateful to the scientists and everyone involved in rolling out the vaccine.

Lots of people I know have been posting this week that they are having the vaccine including my own husband.

I'm not eleigible despite having asthma (not severe enough). I'm travelling to work each day, and these people are working from home but do you know what, I'm just grateful it's not my mother with severe dementia who is being cared for and that I'm not living with an auto-immune disease or one of the many other reasons these people are in group 6.

Every person I see vaccinated means I'm getting closer and there are less people to pass it onto me.

I was reading the green book thing about carers vaccinatioons and it surprised me that vaccinating unpaid carers was not about protecting the vulnerable person, it was about the effect on the care of that person if their carer got ill and was unable to perform their caring duties.

God, this thread is so nasty. I can only assume the people blaming OP for provoking a bully are themselves very scared of catching COVID and this is their way of coping.
I heard on the radio today (Australia - we have only just started vaccinating) that people are encouraged to be publicly pro vaccination if they receive it due to the high level of anti vaxx suspicion out there at the moment.

@FuckingFabulous

I wish Mumsnet had a 'like' button.

And I wish it had a *fuck off, you fucking fool' button. (This is not directed at you OP. More those who are hard of understanding).

@Fuss

I nearly posted that I'd had my vaccine the other day, then I saw a friend post she'd had hers. There was a comment of "how on earth did you jump the queue?". It read really sneery. In friends defence she replied (I'd have told her to FOTTFSOF the nosey cow) that she was a carer for her disabled son. Commenter didn't return.

It's a shame really, I've seen an older relative receive similar comments when he had the vaccine. I kept my mouth shut in the end. There are some strange people out there.

Fuck Pam.

Christ. Who are people keeping as "friends" on their SM? These people sound vile.

I can't believe Cuntie Pam is only 50s! She is unlikely to be even seriously ill if she does get Covid. I've jsut turned 60 and I consider myself to be way down the list of vulnerable people.

Get all the vulnerable people vaccinated - whatever age they are. Cuntie Pam will have to wait even longer.

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

"You're right Pam, it has nothing to do with my caring responsibilities or DH's condition, I was just trying to spare your feelings. The truth is, the medical community at large discussed it, and agreed that as you'd be no great loss to humanity, they wouldn't rush to vaccinate you. Sorry "

This. You should absolutely do this 😂

Jesus. A few days ago people on here were telling someone to get their vaccine, even though the invitation might have been sent in error.

Now they're complaining because someone got the vaccine because "they've got ADHD" (which isn't what the OP said but reading comprehension seems to be low on this forum).

OP, Pam et al are cunts. Your mistake was engaging. It's adding fuel to her fire and every time you respond is just giving her more airtime.

There's nothing wrong with posting you've received the vaccine on Facebook. I've seen loads of people do this but I've not witnessed any nastiness because of it. I don't question why someone got it before me, I'm just pleased that we are one step closer to normality.

@dontdisturbmenow

It's almost as if your own Facebook isn't the benchmark for everyone else's. How surprising Absurdly, just don't act so outrage when people don't respond the way you expect them too.

This is the final time I intend to respond to you, because you seem to be afflicted with a little myopia, but if you try and read my original post again, you'll see I responded politely to Pam, with full consideration that her original snippy comment might be due to frustration that she hasn't been called yet, never mind that she isn't due to be. My outrage was due to her horrible comments about my caring responsibilities and my husband's ADHD. Because she, a perfectly healthy woman in her 50s, has to wait a few more weeks than we do, she chose to be absolutely vile about the reasons why we are in group six. That's the outrage. Not that she's pissy she can't have the vaccine before me. That's classic Pam, entitled to the bone. It's what she followed up with that made me seethe. And I don't think I should shrug my shoulders and think, 'well, I dared to be on Facebook with a husband with ADHD and whilst I am a parent carer. What did I expect?'

Not to have the piss taken out of protected characteristics by my own family. That's what I expect as standard all the time. Even online.

Speaking of smear tests, my results came through negative today. I'm really relieved but now I'm not sure whether that's bragging or not...

I don't understand why people are posting their private medical / personal situation on FB though.
It invites this kind of response.

Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

Urgh. Just read this part again from your OP... makes me want to vom. Usually the "I just say it like it is" people use that line to justify being uncouth, judgmental, and plain nasty. I cringe every time I hear or see it.

@PuggyMum

I don't understand why people are posting their private medical / personal situation on FB though. It invites this kind of response.

It's really sad that you think posting something non-offensive, non-aggressive etc justifies people having their children's medical needs dismissed as unimportant and people being called thick for having a recognised condition. What awful friends you must have. My sympathies are with you

@Borntohula

Speaking of smear tests, my results came through negative today. I'm really relieved but now I'm not sure whether that's bragging or not...

Well I think it's great. And actually that IS definitely something to encourage other to Do. Alas "had my smear and only cried once" probably isn't the publicity they want 🤣