Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Piss off, Pam!

999 replies

FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 12:38

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Borntohula · 25/02/2021 09:45

@dontdisturbmenow

To all those accusing others of 'bragging' about having a jab, what exactly is there to brag about hmm? Well let's see! I got the vaccin, I'm now highly unlikely to be very poorly with it it die.

You might still do though because even though you're not as much at risk as I am, we know that healthy people have died too.

I didn't expect to feel such relief after getting it and even more 3 weeks later. I'm so happy to be in this position. I can understand how desperate others would be too. That's why I don't mention it unless asked, and that's with me having a condition that could indeed put me at high risk.
.

Jesus fucking christ, that's laughable! "I'm less likely to die although the reason I'm in group 6 massively affects my quality of life." I'm not even in a priority group at all, is that me bragging or the opposite?

People are so odd!

Lockheart · 25/02/2021 09:46

Saying you've had the vaccine is not bragging.

We're all going to be offered the vaccine (within the next 4 months hopefully). It's not a privilege for a lucky few. OP is one of tens of millions.

And anyone with half a brain ought to know that, if someone has been offered the vaccine at this relatively early stage, there is probably a good reason for it (I am aware that some places are rocketing through and vaccinating younger healthy people - which I still consider a good thing! - but it's not the norm).

Pam is a gold star twat of the first order.

LimitIsUp · 25/02/2021 09:46

@dontdisturbmenow

To all those accusing others of 'bragging' about having a jab, what exactly is there to brag about hmm? Well let's see! I got the vaccin, I'm now highly unlikely to be very poorly with it it die.

You might still do though because even though you're not as much at risk as I am, we know that healthy people have died too.

I didn't expect to feel such relief after getting it and even more 3 weeks later. I'm so happy to be in this position. I can understand how desperate others would be too. That's why I don't mention it unless asked, and that's with me having a condition that could indeed put me at high risk.
.

Exactly - arsehole behaviour from Pam and tactless behaviour from the op
LouJ85 · 25/02/2021 09:46

@Cadent

I doubt everyone posting on Facebook that they have had the vaccine are doing it out of altruism to encourage others to have it too.

There's definitely a whiff of 'Ner ne ne ner ne' I've had it before you'.

What does it matter why they're doing it?!

It's their own social media account!

If you don't like it and you assume such negative motives of a person that you choose to follow on your own account, then why remain friends with them online?! Just unfollow! Hmm

LouJ85 · 25/02/2021 09:51

Final rant about social media I promise, OP! But...

I honestly feel like some people (some of them evidently on this thread) choose^ to continue to follow others on their online accounts just so they can have something to be offended about when a person they choose to follow^ posts something they don't like. So they can then come on here and rant about said people.

And the problem is allegedly with the person posting in the first place, is it? Right. Hmm

Coffee2sugars · 25/02/2021 09:53

@FuckingFabulous I think I love you... You are absolutely bang on with everything you've said and do glad you stuck up for yourself. These people, Pam especially, are awful. I would be very upset with DF that he didn't stick up for me too. Hope you're okay FlowersFlowers

theotherfossilsister · 25/02/2021 09:58

I completely disagree. When I see posts like that I am so happy even though I'm a long way down the queue. Every vaccine is a step closer to liberty.

LouJ85 · 25/02/2021 10:02

@LouJ85

Final rant about social media I promise, OP! But...

I honestly feel like some people (some of them evidently on this thread) choose^ to continue to follow others on their online accounts just so they can have something to be offended about when a person they choose to follow^ posts something they don't like. So they can then come on here and rant about said people.

And the problem is allegedly with the person posting in the first place, is it? Right. Hmm

By the way OP, I hope you realise this post wasn't aimed at you!! It's aimed at those on this thread insisting you should "moderate your tone" for the benefit of your dickhead family members.

dontdisturbmenow · 25/02/2021 10:02

Oh, no- you INVITED the nastiness by daring to speak
Or maybe you were both wrong. You lacked empathy and they didn't control their anger.

fistasledge · 25/02/2021 10:06

@Cadent

I doubt everyone posting on Facebook that they have had the vaccine are doing it out of altruism to encourage others to have it too.

There's definitely a whiff of 'Ner ne ne ner ne' I've had it before you'.

As someone down thread says

Nerrrr ner ner nerrrr neerrr, my husband has an illness that makes him more likely to be seriously ill or die from Covid than you so he's had the jab! And I'm a full time carer to my teenage daughter who can't even dress herself so I also got the vaccine before you..,, nerrrr nerrrr

To coin a phrase HTH...

dontdisturbmenow · 25/02/2021 10:06

We're all going to be offered the vaccine (within the next 4 months hopefully). It's not a privilege for a lucky few. OP is one of tens of millions
Of course it's a privilege. One all 19 millions have benefited from. My friend who is attached has to go to work everyday with some level of anxiety that I'm now free from. I feel very privileged.

Of all those who claim that posting it isn't about bragging just sharing information, do they share they've just had their smear test to their social media? Of course not because it doesn't make anyone jealous.

Original poster
FuckingFabulous · 25/02/2021 10:07

@dontdisturbmenow

Oh, no- you INVITED the nastiness by daring to speak Or maybe you were both wrong. You lacked empathy and they didn't control their anger.
It is a well known fact that we parent-carers lack empathy.
OP posts:
ThePluckOfTheCoward · 25/02/2021 10:08

@Lockheart

Saying you've had the vaccine is not bragging.

We're all going to be offered the vaccine (within the next 4 months hopefully). It's not a privilege for a lucky few. OP is one of tens of millions.

And anyone with half a brain ought to know that, if someone has been offered the vaccine at this relatively early stage, there is probably a good reason for it (I am aware that some places are rocketing through and vaccinating younger healthy people - which I still consider a good thing! - but it's not the norm).

Pam is a gold star twat of the first order.

This post says exactly what I was going to say and exactly how I feel.

And Auntie Pat is a vicious, ignorant twat of the highest order.

fistasledge · 25/02/2021 10:09

@dontdisturbmenow

We're all going to be offered the vaccine (within the next 4 months hopefully). It's not a privilege for a lucky few. OP is one of tens of millions Of course it's a privilege. One all 19 millions have benefited from. My friend who is attached has to go to work everyday with some level of anxiety that I'm now free from. I feel very privileged.

Of all those who claim that posting it isn't about bragging just sharing information, do they share they've just had their smear test to their social media? Of course not because it doesn't make anyone jealous.

I feel really privileged to have been offered it early...due to my life limiting illness which required daily medication and often hospitalisation....Sooooo privileged!

I can't believe people still don't realise that the majority of those being offered it now are suffering in some way in their daily lives????

dontdisturbmenow · 25/02/2021 10:11

It is a well known fact that we parent-carers lack empathy
What does this got to do with it? I know a few carers who are good at caring for those they love but show no empathy to others.

I guess I feel strongly because I really dislike people who like to brag (but always denied that's what they do with innocence).

I could have predicted from my list of 'friends' on Facebook who would announce first they'd the vaccin and they didn't disappoint.

Original poster
FuckingFabulous · 25/02/2021 10:13

Of all those who claim that posting it isn't about bragging just sharing information, do they share they've just had their smear test to their social media? Of course not because it doesn't make anyone jealous.

Thousands do. And are encouraged to in order to increase the uptake of smear tests and avoid women needlessly dying of cervical cancer.

Here's just a couple of lovely successful stories from those campaigns, one of which I gladly take part in As a 37 year old woman, I doubt it was a shock to anyone to learn that I have a cervix.

www.redmoorhealth.co.uk/article/practice-increases-smear-test-uptake-following-social-media-campaign/

www.jostrust.org.uk/get-involved/campaign/cervical-cancer-prevention-week/smearforsmear

phescreening.blog.gov.uk/2019/09/13/cervical-screening-saves-lives-highlights-from-the-national-campaign/

You'll note the regular mention of social media as a valuable tool in raising awareness and encouraging women to feel less afraid and embarrassed to get their medical examination.

OP posts:
LouJ85 · 25/02/2021 10:14

Of all those who claim that posting it isn't about bragging just sharing information, do they share they've just had their smear test to their social media? Of course not because it doesn't make anyone jealous

Having a smear test isn't remotely comparable because it's not about preventing the spread of a contagious virus that's controlled all of our lives for the best part of 12 months now. Raising awareness about the Covid vaccine and potentially encouraging others to also have it so that the whole country can have their lives back, is worlds apart from having a smear.

MrsKFZeeeeee · 25/02/2021 10:15

@dontdisturbmenow

Oh, no- you INVITED the nastiness by daring to speak Or maybe you were both wrong. You lacked empathy and they didn't control their anger.
Precisely Oh @JouJ85 quoting me out of context carries no weight If put something on SM you open yourself up for criticism, rightly or wrongly, that's life
dontdisturbmenow · 25/02/2021 10:16

I can't believe people still don't realise that the majority of those being offered it now are suffering in some way in their daily lives????
No one is begrudging their entitlement to get it early, there is just no need to make a big announcement about it.

In OPs case, there might be famy/friends more at risk medically to suffer worse conditions than her but her role as a carer put her ahead.

Originalusername2021 · 25/02/2021 10:16

@dontdisturbmenow

We're all going to be offered the vaccine (within the next 4 months hopefully). It's not a privilege for a lucky few. OP is one of tens of millions Of course it's a privilege. One all 19 millions have benefited from. My friend who is attached has to go to work everyday with some level of anxiety that I'm now free from. I feel very privileged.

Of all those who claim that posting it isn't about bragging just sharing information, do they share they've just had their smear test to their social media? Of course not because it doesn't make anyone jealous.

A smear test is a routine thing though. This is a global pandemic which has limited all our freedoms for a year, can’t really compare the 2.
MrBullinaChinaShop · 25/02/2021 10:17

I think if someone in a low risk group is jealous of someone in a higher priority group for having the vaccine, they’re a bit of a knob in all honesty.
Yes people are keen to have it. But I am glad I’m not in a high priority group, because it means I don’t have any of the circumstances in my life that make me high priority. And that’s a good thing. Yes we know that some young, healthy people have suffered/died, but young healthy people can suffer/die from all sorts of conditions.

MusicWithRocksIn1t · 25/02/2021 10:17

Holy fuck.
I can not believe that people are defending the vile behaviour exhibited by Pam.
As for not sharing it? Wtf shouldn't you?
I'd much rather see positive, true information shared then all those stupid bogus competitions and 5 year old lost dog posts from ither countries.

I had mt first vaccine over a month ago and didn't post about it on SM purely because I was too busy to think about it and still got stupid negative messages from family members who I don't even like.
I'm very thankful that I have been able to have my vaccine.
And now have less idiots in my life so massive result!

Pam should jump in her cunt canoe and fuck off.

Original poster
FuckingFabulous · 25/02/2021 10:17

@dontdisturbmenow

I can't believe people still don't realise that the majority of those being offered it now are suffering in some way in their daily lives???? No one is begrudging their entitlement to get it early, there is just no need to make a big announcement about it.

In OPs case, there might be famy/friends more at risk medically to suffer worse conditions than her but her role as a carer put her ahead.

If there were, they'd have been offered one before me in groups 1-5 or at the same time as me in group 6 🙄
OP posts:
LouJ85 · 25/02/2021 10:19

*I guess I feel strongly because I really dislike people who like to brag (but always denied that's what they do with innocence).

I could have predicted from my list of 'friends' on Facebook who would announce first they'd the vaccin and they didn't disappoint.*

Firstly, you do realise that your own interpretation of something as "bragging", as the reader, is as relevant as the person's post itself. You might read something and interpret this as a "brag"; I or someone else might read it and think something entirely different. You are interpreting that information on your newsfeed from your own mindset.

Secondly, if you can predict which of your "friends" would "brag", and evidently this annoys you - can I ask what motivates you to continue following them? You do realise you have an "unfollow" and alternatively an "unfriend" option at your disposal, right? You can use it any time to control the content of your own newsfeed. 👍🏻

dontdisturbmenow · 25/02/2021 10:19

Raising awareness about the Covid vaccine and potentially encouraging others to also have it so that the whole country can have their lives back, is worlds apart from having a smear
Then why wait to have the vaccin to do so? It's easy to post 'I am still waiting for the vaccin, but for all.of you who've been invited, please go for it, I'll wait for my turn'.
I've seen a number if 'ive had the vaccin' post on my Facebook, but funnily enough, not once the former!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread