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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Piss off, Pam!

999 replies

FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 12:38

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
itsgettingwierd · 24/02/2021 21:59

@BrightYellowDaffodil

Seems like there's quite a few "Pams" lurking about.

Aren't there just? A Pam-demic, if you will...

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

This thread just keeps giving.

Originalusername2021 · 24/02/2021 22:10

@BrightYellowDaffodil

Seems like there's quite a few "Pams" lurking about.

Aren't there just? A Pam-demic, if you will...

Bravo 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/02/2021 22:11

Wouldn’t it be lovely if someone came back and said “I am such a numpty - I misread the OP - sorry”.

But I’m not holding my breath. In fact, I am willing to bet that at least one more poster will say “Oooh - I didn’t know you got the jab for ADHD!” before anyone comes and holds up their hands to not even reading the OP properly.

Weirdlynormal · 24/02/2021 22:11

If there was a category for the stupid, a few of the fuckers on here would be marching up the ranks #pamdemic

ToffeePennie · 24/02/2021 22:12

I like this idea!
Whoever thinks they “should” come somewhere in the queue either has no fucking clue what most of those people who are higher in the listings deal with on a daily basis or aren’t carers. Ironic really as they don’t care enough about others, but care enough for themselves. Pam and her Ilk are dick heads, well done for being so brave op!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/02/2021 22:14

But this thread has reminded me of the by the late, great Victoria Wood.

Orchidflower1 · 24/02/2021 22:24

Pam demic
Victoria wood
Our very own @FuckingFabulous

Honestly it really this thread really is the gift that keeps on giving!!!

@FuckingFabulous you totally did the right thing with blocking the vipers- how sad that they are family.

For the umpteenth time

Ops dh has adhd but it is the chest condition that was the primary cause. Bloody hell. Rtfft - yes there is meant to be an extra f !

ILoveYou3000 · 24/02/2021 22:27

@RuledbyASD you should be group 6 is you have MS, shouldn't you? I know two people with the condition and they're booked to have their jabs in next week.

justilou1 · 24/02/2021 22:28

If you do embroider the sampler, please embroider a vulva as well. Just for extra effect. Pam is evil. There is a special place in hell for her.

Covert19 · 24/02/2021 22:29

Having read the full thread, I don't know what has shocked me more:

Pam's outrageously moronic views;
OP's amazing embroidery-based comeback; or
The discovery that you can get the vaccine earlier if you've got ADHD
Wink

My mind is blown.

Hollanda40 · 24/02/2021 22:31

@herewegoagainst

You did the right thing by deleting the post, I would block her as well. The 'queue jumping' debate is pointless, everyone will have theirs in a few months but she will be a prat forever.
This.

I've had mine (where I work and advised to have it asap). That doesn't mean I jumped any queue. I was offered it and took it.

eurochick · 24/02/2021 22:31

Pam's a fucking idiot.

I love hearing that people are being vaccinated. Every needle in an arm means we are a step closer to being able to resume normal life - see friends and family, watch our children play with other kids, go on holiday, etc. A few friends have mentioned having it on FB and two work colleagues in their 40s mentioned having it this week. It's great news.

ShastaBeast · 24/02/2021 22:32

I can’t understand this at all. I have asthma and don’t care if others have it before me, for whatever reason. I don’t feel I need it. I did momentarily get excited at the ADHD bit, my DH also has it. His family, middle class educated surprisingly, don’t believe in ADHD either. I don’t talk to them. You shouldn’t either, they aren’t worth it. And they have no empathy for your DD and you as her mum and cater? That’s appalling. They are shit people and you’ve done nothing wrong. Nor is it bad to announce a pregnancy on FB just in case someone else has infertility. It is brilliant how fast they are going. Although some areas are going faster than others which is causing some conflicts like this.

tenlittlecygnets · 24/02/2021 22:35

I wish people wouldn't post on Facebook that they've had the vaccine...

ADHD is not an underlying reason.

I'd delete Pam and her friends as they are horrible, but I think it's better not to post.

ILoveYou3000 · 24/02/2021 22:37

ADHD is not an underlying reason.

Ffs! The OP didn't say it was. Here's an idea give it another read, slowly this time.

LouJ85 · 24/02/2021 22:39

@BrightYellowDaffodil

Seems like there's quite a few "Pams" lurking about.

Aren't there just? A Pam-demic, if you will...

😂😂

littlepandawantstoplay · 24/02/2021 22:41

Op, take a picture of your arms as a family and then another one with a middle finger and say this is one for you Pam, go do one you vile creature. I heard that they don't give vaccines to cunts. I'm sure someone will screen shot it and send it to her 😂

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 24/02/2021 22:45

@Shoxfordian

Block Pam and anyone who liked her posts
This.

They have been massively rude and disrespectful, you don't owe them any courtesy at all.

FrangipaniBlue · 24/02/2021 22:45

Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!"

My response to this would have been "you're absolute correct, it's not, otherwise you'd have had yours by now too wouldn't you!"

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 24/02/2021 22:46

These types thrive on the drama of an argument, blocking her will deny her the drama that she craves. For people like that, being blocked without ceremony is worse than any insult you could ever think of.

Milliepossum · 24/02/2021 22:47

Hi OP, I’m sorry that side of the family is toxic, I’ve had to do the same thing as you’ve done, except they don’t even know where we live now. It feels great and peaceful. I think that now you’re not available to verbally bash that ‘Pam’ will turn on one of the others, just like rats eat each other when food runs out.

Milliepossum · 24/02/2021 22:48

@BrightYellowDaffodil

Seems like there's quite a few "Pams" lurking about.

Aren't there just? A Pam-demic, if you will...

Smile Very clever Grin
MerylStropp · 24/02/2021 22:53

@RuledbyASD you should be group 6 is you have MS, shouldn't you? I know two people with the condition and they're booked to have their jabs in next week.

This ^ ... MS is named on the list of neurological conditions in group 6. Page 10 of assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/961287/Greenbook_chapter_14a_v7_12Feb2021.pdf
@RuledbyASD You need to contact your GP to make sure they've got you in the correct category.

Originalusername2021 · 24/02/2021 22:55

Might change my username to Pamdemic 🤔

Cheeringmeup · 24/02/2021 22:58

OP, I'm quite good at embroidery - could help you out with a few of those. I always feel that a tangible reminder is so much more effective...

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