Piss off, Pam!

[FuckingFabulous]

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

She sounds very bitter and a bully. I think you made the right call in blocking her and anyone else involved.

I get angry at people like Pam, however I sometimes feel even more angry at the "minions" who go along and encourage the behaviour. If it wasn't for all the support and comments, she perhaps wouldn't feel able to do it.

@acatcalledjohn

What is boastful and insensitive about sharing something the WHO is asking people to share in order to normalise vaccines in a social media world full of conspiracy theories?

Brilliant post. Thank you for posting that. If someone has a go at me for 'announcing' I have had the vaccine, I shall say this!!!

@drsambeckett

For your own mental health block Pam. I have now blocked three family members for spreading misinformation, e.g. catching legionnaires from a mask and mocking those getting tested. Truly a weight lifted as they are quite possibly three of the most dense individuals that I have ever known and one of them works in a hospital......

My friend (Liz) has done this. But with her husband Dave's family. She has blocked 3 of them on facebook. So has Dave...

Dave's mother Maureen (60) is a covid denier, and won't wear a mask, and has refused the vaccination. Her stupid 55 y.o. husband and 30 y.o. step-son (Dave's stepdad and stepbrother,) have convinced Maureen it's all bollux and 'yer a mug' if you believe it.

Liz and Dave made the decision (3-4 weeks ago,) to not let Maureen see their children anymore, (Maureen's grandchildren obvs!) It's caused a shitstorm, and a huge rift.

Liz and Dave said they have no intention of taking their 3 children (all under 10,) to Maureen's house, and potentially giving her covid19. Maureen - AND Dave's stepdad and stepbrother could get it .

So, Maureen can covid-deny all she likes, but she won't be seeing her only 3 grandchildren anytime soon.

@LilMidge01

I actually think its good that people are posting about having the vaccine- it gives us a tangible way of seeing the improvements not just via the daily numbers announced on the news. You can say 'I know a lot of people who have already had the vaccine'

Plus, whilst the majority of people are desperate for the vaccine, I know quite a few elderly relatives of friends and others who are still saying they will turn it down out of fear. It helps normalise it, it helps show that it is necessary. And we need as many people vaccinated as possible.

Fine if you don't want to post it, but not posting out of fear of 'causing resentment' is ridiculous. No-one should feel resentment at OP (unless they're a massive cunt like Pam), we should be happy to hear of one more person we know who has got it.

Another very good post, and some very good points!

@PotDaffodil

Not in the north-west are you by any chance? Only this is the kind of general daily unpleasantness I associate with the north west.

Your dh made a good reply, now do tell them to stop being so self-centred, over 50s are not the only people on the planet. Then block and don't bother with.

PMSL. What a totally weird, and utterly batshit generalisation!

OP, you absolute LEGEND!!

THAT's how you deal with a cunt!!

I'm proud of you OP.

And so sorry you've felt the need to defend yourself on here over and over again. Seems like there's quite a few "Pams" lurking about.

Well done Op. I wonder if anyone has ever called her out on her "opinions" before. I've had the jab and I'm 43, I have friends who are in their 20s who have had the jab. I didn't put it on Facebook but not deliberately, I had other stuff going on that day too. I agree with the many other posters, the more people who get it the better. I genuinely hadn't thought people would react negatively to this . People really have shown their true colours over covid.

Are you telling us that more than one person in your family is defending this wretched woman? After she’s called your DH and son hateful names, shown the opposite of compassion for your situation and now lied that you’ve jumped the queue?

I’d cut them all off unless they apologize.

Exactly! Bragging on facebook that you've had something that others desperately want is not doing the country a great service. Take up will be absolutely fine without people showing off on facebook.

Hey @muddyellowdog get me, I got it and I'm only 39. Yeah, I got me a kid missing a diaphragm and too many chromosomes who's tube fed and on nasal cannula o2 permanently meaning I can't reasonably work and get the humongous sum of Carers Allowance and thus got the jab. I get the flu jab room. Hahahah you just be green with envy, did I mention the 18 months of in and out of hospitals when he was born, the numerous times I didn't think he'd come home? Yeah living it up with my AV jab after shielding DS for months

@FatCatThinCat

Bloody hell OP, your entire family are utterly toxic. How you've made it this far without exorcising the lot of them is beyond me. You should be sainted for that level of patience and tolerance. I'd have killed the lot of them by now.

It's my DFs side of the family that are toxic. My DM just doesn't want anything to happen that she might have to put a bit of effort into. And I think sadly, when you grow up around people that are toxic and entitled, you either become one of them or you become like me, desperate to be nothing like them, but some who forgives time and again to keep the peace when you ought not to because you've seen how horribly it goes for those who do not.

Bloody Pam ! YANBU OP some people have proven themselves to be extremely selfish over the vaccine issues.

@itsgettingwierd

Pleeeeeeaaaaassseeeeee go one further an actually make her one of those and send it as a birthday gift

Pure gold!

I could. I am capable of such things. Perhaps I will!

YANBU OP, what a vile bunch of people your family are 😡

@Boxtroll

She sounds very bitter and a bully. I think you made the right call in blocking her and anyone else involved.

I get angry at people like Pam, however I sometimes feel even more angry at the "minions" who go along and encourage the behaviour. If it wasn't for all the support and comments, she perhaps wouldn't feel able to do it.

Exactly! They embolden the bitches! It's like the queen bee thing in school. Nobody would even tolerate such a little cow if they didn't have their legions of fawning minions, and I'd wager 90% of the time, they wouldn't even open their mouths.

Bloody well done OP. And yes your DF's family do sound toxic. How they all just joined in the pile-on against you shows that they are bullies. Enjoy your Pam-free existence!

Pam is vile.
@PotDaffodil is you name also Pam, just looking at your “is she from the north west” comment, delightful. How to offend a large group of people based on nothing but the area they live in.

They sound awful, like you'd see on some (you'd think implausible) sitcom.....! You have totally done the right thing by blocking them, and it doesn't sound as though you'd want contact with most of them going forwards.....

So sorry to hear about your DD - many carers have to deal with such tragic scenarios - but if yours only came about recently that somehow seems even more awful! Look after your family and ignore the toxic trash! .

@shamalidacdak

You get the early jab for ADHD? That's insane

Sweet Lord. It’s not actually what the OP said and also the research does show a correlation between poor outcomes from covid and neurodevelopmental conditions. Please explain why you think it ‘insane’?

@PotDaffodil

Not in the north-west are you by any chance? Only this is the kind of general daily unpleasantness I associate with the north west.

Your dh made a good reply, now do tell them to stop being so self-centred, over 50s are not the only people on the planet. Then block and don't bother with.

WTF has the north west done to you?

@FuckingFabulous you’re a fucking star ⭐️

You need to get rid of these kinds of people off of your social media accounts!

@SleepingStandingUp

Exactly! Bragging on facebook that you've had something that others desperately want is not doing the country a great service. Take up will be absolutely fine without people showing off on facebook.

Hey @muddyellowdog get me, I got it and I'm only 39. Yeah, I got me a kid missing a diaphragm and too many chromosomes who's tube fed and on nasal cannula o2 permanently meaning I can't reasonably work and get the humongous sum of Carers Allowance and thus got the jab. I get the flu jab room. Hahahah you just be green with envy, did I mention the 18 months of in and out of hospitals when he was born, the numerous times I didn't think he'd come home? Yeah living it up with my AV jab after shielding DS for months

Erm I said in my original post that I'm very pleased the op and her husband had the jab. I'm in no hurry for my jab thanks and I'm very pleased that you've had yours - that's really great and I can't wait for more and more people (ahead of me) to get their jab.

So no, I'm not 'green with envy' at all. I can see how people would be though and personally I wouldn't post about it on facebook if I had the jab as I have the insight to see how that would stress out people that are desperate to have theirs.

@LaurieFairyCake - the OP explicitly stated that ADHD wasn't the reason her DH got his vaccination it it is relevant to what ' Pam' said.

Before anyone else who finds comprehension difficult decides to comment - THE OP’S DH DIDN’T GET THE JAB FOR ADHD!