Piss off, Pam!

[FuckingFabulous]

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

I really don't get why people are pissed about others getting the jab first for perfectly legitimate reasons. I'm older than Pam and I'd much rather you got the jab before me!

Pam sounds like a troublemaker. Why else would she publicly berate you rather than directly enquire to you by DM, if she really has a concern? I'd love to be able to see my friends, go out etc. But really in the great scheme of things another couple of months is nothing.

I don't consider myself to be brimming with good fortune to be priority group 6, considering what actually places me in it.

2 words you focus on in my longish post 🙄.

I have already said Pam was awful and you really don’t need her in your life - but maybe you could also think about how you may have come across as boastful or at least insensitive. You don’t know anything about other people’s anxieties and problems, just because you choose to shout about everything on social media, it doesn’t mean others have easier lives.

@Aprilx

I think the rules are so broad that they do catch people they were maybe not supposed to. Because I am struggling to understand why you need it because you are a looking after a child, who obviously is at close to zero risk, and I am not sure why somebody needs it because of ADHD either. So perhaps you should not rub people’s noses in it by posting on Facebook, when they probably are at greater risk than you.

Ffs!! Read the post ! Op did not get the jab 'because she is a parent' her dd has underlying health conditions that require special care. Her DH has additional health conditions that make him eligible for the jab IN ADDITION to ADHD .

I think comparing waiting an extra few weeks for a vaccine to the pain of a miscarriage is ridiculous too.

I can't wait for my jab, and I am not surprised you shared it. Many of my friends who's had it, posted about it. And I am genuinely glad for them, and a teeny tiny little bit envious. I am also an informal carer but not sure that the GP's have put it on my file in time.

Celebrate the heck out of it, and please send Greebol's response to Cunty Pam. You've been 'blessed' with some real arseholes in your life.

I don't understand people who make out its not OK for you to upset someone who's clearly upsetting you. It's like they have rights but you don't.

Tell Pam if she wants to be involved in your family then she has to change her behaviour otherwise you will cut her out your life completely. Including if she's invited to family gatherings. Pretend she dosnt exist!

but maybe you could also think about how you may have come across as boastful or at least insensitive.

Christ on a fucking unicycle.

What is boastful and insensitive about sharing something the WHO is asking people to share in order to normalise vaccines in a social media world full of conspiracy theories?

At least read the OP's posts. There's a handy filter function to help you with that.

For your own mental health block Pam. I have now blocked three family members for spreading misinformation, e.g. catching legionnaires from a mask and mocking those getting tested. Truly a weight lifted as they are quite possibly three of the most dense individuals that I have ever known and one of them works in a hospital......

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Although I don't condone Pams behaviour at all, I'm not sure what response you hoped for when posting.

People are dying, people are scared, everyone is waiting for the vaccine and instead of just quietly getting it, and thanking your lucky stars you have, you announce on social media that you have the one thing everyone wants right now.

It was always going to cause resentment.

Regardless of that, Pam and her pals have said some unforgivable things and you should block them.

I actually think its good that people are posting about having the vaccine- it gives us a tangible way fo seeing the improvements not just via the daily numbers announced on the news. You can say 'I know alot of people who have already had the vaccine'

Plus, whilst the majority of people are desperate for the vaccine, I know quite a few elderly relatives of friends and others who are still saying they will turn it down out of fear. It helps normalise it, it helps show that it is necessary. And we need as many people vaccinated as possible.

Fine if you don't want to post it, but not posting out of fear of 'causing resentment' is ridiculous. Noone should feel resentment at OP (unless they're a massive cunt like Pam), we should be happy to hear of one more person we know who has got it.

So what if young people are getting it? The people going to work everyday?

So many older people have had it and their lives won't and can't change for ages anyway yet we were being told not long ago how many young people are in Intensive care!

Someone we know had a massive rant because someone in the family (slightly younger) than her had it sooner - he accompanied his wife who was eligible and got the “going in the bin otherwise” dose at the end of the day. I don’t see how that dose not being wasted has anything to do with her, but she works in a public facing role and is maybe frightened. I think some people have lost all perspective in this and take their worry and frustration out on the wrong people.

@FuckingFabulous

I shared a funny picture from my memories this morning and I have seen that Pam commented an hour ago on a picture of my children asking "Where's your vaccine party gone? 🤣🤣🤣" and tagging the woman who also wanted to know how DH got a jab early.

DH, who is normally not at all bothered by FB has commented and said "We're still celebrating here! Looks like you're not getting invited to anything, Pam."

I've unfriended her now and blocked the others, but I don't want to block her yet because I still want to message her and tell her what an absolute cunt she is. I'll just do it when I've got the time to craft a proper response later.

Ha ha your DH is a star.

Tell Pam for do you a favour and fuck off.

It's no one else's business who has it before them. Pam is a dick.

I agree with pp’s in that I wouldn’t have posted about it, but at the same time, when faced with criticism like this I would have had to tell the self-righteous twats exactly why my family was entitled to the vaccine. You have defended yourself really well on this thread and should have no hesitation in doing the same in real life. There is no queue jumping. You have been offered the vaccine because there is clearly a clinical need. Pam and her cronies sound awful and I would be blocking in real life too. You don’t need that kind of negativity around you.

I think everyone has a ‘Pam’ on their Facebook, I have hidden one of my relatives because she would love to moan about the fact some people are getting the vaccine before her, she works in a supermarket and likes to remind people of this several times a day (how her life’s at risk every time she goes to work), luckily for her she will probably get the vaccine early as she is clinically obese, maybe then she will stop moaning about everyone else getting it before her.

a couple of younger friends have asthma

@SilverBirchWithout Then they should be able to get their jabs now or should be soon. I have well-controlled asthma and getting it today. They count as group 6.

That's horrible, no wonder you're upset. I don't think posting about your vaccine is inviting such unpleasantness - nosy questions maybe, but not nastiness.

I think I'd have left the post up and commented calmly underneath something like.

"Hold on Pam, so you disagree with the government decision on how to roll-out the vaccine? That's fair enough. But now you've taken that disagreement and used it to make personal and insulting comments about my family, who's only crime was to accept the vaccine according to protocol. I'm sorry Pam but it's not us who are coming across badly here for getting vaccinated, it's you. Your comments are hurtful and rude, and to top that off you are tagging all your friends to come and join in with the nastiness - why?

Oh so fuck off Pam would have been my response ( rather childish I know) but would sum up my feelings

Block her, ignore her, whatever. The amount of nasty people I have had having a go at me (I was one of the first to be offered it in my area) is insane.
I have serious and severe underlying health conditions, I have just recovered from a serious health scare, I am working with the vulnerable and elderly, and I have had a letter from my PSA to say I had to have it.
It’s ridiculous that they dare have a go. Bitches

I’m group 4. I’m yet to even be offered the vaccine. My drs are trying desperately to fit me in.

I can see why she’s upset as such

However the way she spoke to you and with other relatives chiming in. Wasn’t on! Not at all.

@FuckingFabulous

To the people who are wondering why I would post about vaccination, I genuinely do think it's cause for celebration and that if we're on group six and storming through it, all the other groups are not too far behind at all. I see it as a hopeful message that we are on our way out of this! I've seen literally dozens of people posting about their vaccine or changing their profile picture to have a frame by NHS England saying they'll be getting it or that they've had it. I was very taken aback to be met with such spite over it!

Pam is an aunt, by the way.

An aunt? Auto correct I presume?

Not in the north-west are you by any chance? Only this is the kind of general daily unpleasantness I associate with the north west.

Your dh made a good reply, now do tell them to stop being so self-centred, over 50s are not the only people on the planet. Then block and don't bother with.

@BumBurnerBum 😂

Good in your DH for posting that response. Pam is a nasty bitch. I'd call her out on her twatish behaviour, block her and avoid her in real life. Pleased you're getting the vaccine op, don't see see anything wrong in posting about it.

@Hobbesmanc

You know as upsetting as this is- maybe people should just keep quiet about their vaccination status. It's a contentious issue and there's really no need to share.

Pam sounds like a total cow bag though

This 100%. This pandemic really has highlighted how vile people can be, I won't be telling anyone when I've had mine, I've seen the reactions some have received, it's awful. You wouldnt have been given a vaccination if you weren't entitled.

@SilverBirchWithout

I don't consider myself to be brimming with good fortune to be priority group 6, considering what actually places me in it.

2 words you focus on in my longish post 🙄.

I have already said Pam was awful and you really don’t need her in your life - but maybe you could also think about how you may have come across as boastful or at least insensitive. You don’t know anything about other people’s anxieties and problems, just because you choose to shout about everything on social media, it doesn’t mean others have easier lives.

It's really not my responsibility to be mindful of every single thing that could offend every single person. 🙄

Besides, she wasn't offended, she was being a nasty offensive cow.

Anything in my life that I post about could considered offensive or coast by someone! If I go on holiday, should I not post in case someone else can't go? Should I not be photographed in mice clothing in case someone else doesn't have it? Not post about my degree studies in case someone is salty about their own lack of higher education.

I wasn't being a bitch. I wasn't gloating. I was sharing support for the vaccine!