Piss off, Pam!

[FuckingFabulous]

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

DH, who is normally not at all bothered by FB has commented and said "We're still celebrating here! Looks like you're not getting invited to anything, Pam." I love it. Alas you should have left her as a friend so she saw the comment

I am not sure why you felt the need to post you'd had the vaccine? It is a sensitive issue and many people are worried waiting and not knowing when their turn will be. I would have kept quiet out of respect for that.

@LouJ85

She's definitely quite an uppity cow, always has been. She's my DFs sister and thinks she's a cut above. She's the kind of person who thinks her opinion is always worthy. If she approves of something you've done or got, she'll make sure you know it has her seal of approval. If she disapproves she'll make sure everyone knows she does. Really, I've only got her on there as my GM wanted a family group, but she can honestly piss off.

A lot of Pams on mumsnet today fuck off Pam. Tell her she's a cunt! Add a special fuck you from me

@garlictwist

I am not sure why you felt the need to post you'd had the vaccine? It is a sensitive issue and many people are worried waiting and not knowing when their turn will be. I would have kept quiet out of respect for that.

Best tell the WHO and the CDC and the NHS this hot take, because they're encouraging everyone to use various platforms to share their support for the vaccine in order to increase the uptake in a world that's rife with antivax misinformation.

Also OPs husband didn't get the vaccine early because of his ADHD oh my god read the post 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Pams everywhere

If you do post one of the excellent suggested replies on here, don't forget to sign off with a cheery "just telling it like it is!" I'd go with Greebo's 🤣

Pam sounds like a right cow.

Poster saying I don’t think you or your DH shouldn’t have had it yet aren’t much better.

Feeling envious is one thing. Saying dickhead stuff is quite another.

Someone once made a stupid/cruel post (depended on your POV) on a post of mine and I did not reply, and just left it there for ALL to see. It’s good to let people see other people’s true colours.

Love your DH’s comment!

@SoulofanAggron

Be kind to Pam.

@RubyViolet Pam doesn't deserve OP's kindness- she was nasty to her and her DH.

I think she was awful. I just hate all this judgement and division. Pam shouldn’t be passing comment on anyone’s disability at all. People are losing the plot, my comment was to really rise above idiots like Pam. Don’t forget it, but don’t waste energy on it either.

IMO the more people who talk about having had the vaccine, the better: it will help people who are unsure about it realise it's the normal thing to do.

OP, I would block her and everyone else making snide comments and go NC with the whole fucking bunch.

Tell Pam to fuck off

@garlictwist

I am not sure why you felt the need to post you'd had the vaccine? It is a sensitive issue and many people are worried waiting and not knowing when their turn will be. I would have kept quiet out of respect for that.

You could apply this to anything in your life though. Some people have lost their mums (like me) - I see multiple posts from my FB friends every Mother's Day about how much they love their mums. It's a same sensitive issue for me, but you know what? It's my responsibility to protect myself from that and avoid social media on that day if it's going to be hard. Similarly, some people might not be able to conceive. I posted about my pregnancy last year when I found out. Should I just have kept that off FB too, in case someone was offended or upset by it? Or should those people be responsible for protecting their own mental health by not exposing themselves to social media if other people's lives are so upsetting for them?

If you had to consider every last things people might find difficult or upsetting before you posted on social media, you might as well not bother with an account.🤷‍♀️

God DH's family have one of these.

I deleted her after she annoyed the fuck out of me with one of those copy and paste statuses about how she "didn't care if anyone was offended" and then listed a load of racist nonsense.

She clearly did care because she posted on a status where I'd tagged DH going on about how she could mysteriously no longer see my pictures and couldn't friend request me?? I said oh how strange and eventually re added her because I felt bad

@BoomShakeShake

The easy solution to this is to just delete your Facebook account.

Why on earth do people waste time on there??

URGH! I fucking HATE this kind of shit. It's such a dismissive, patronising, smug, holier-than thou attitude!

WTF has it got to do with you, if other people spend time conversing on facebook?! Maybe it's because I like to communicate online with family and friends I don't see often because they live a few hundred miles away. Maybe I like to converse with penfriends, and with work colleagues I haven't seen for so long because I have been on furlough. Maybe I like them all to see the photos I take of the wildlife and scenery around the beautiful area I live. Maybe I like to see THEIR photos, and hear what they have been up to.

A third of the worlds population uses Facebook, so this arsey, holier-than-thou attitude from people who say 'oooh, does anyone even use facebook anymore?' is just pathetic

You have 'a fucking medal' too, for not being on facebook!

Jesus, Facebook sounds like an adult's version of the school playground, I don't know why people bother?

What’s most absurd here is you can’t say person x hasn’t had the vaccine because person y has. It’s not quantifiable like that.

YANBU to be upset OP. I’m just thrilled when I hear of anyone having the vaccine.

Where I am two ladies 70+ physically set upon a woman in her 20s in the vaccine queue because they didn’t see why she should be there (clinically vulnerable, clearly) The result? She was taken into a room to calm down and given the first vaccine that day.

We can’t help where we live. We can’t help when we’re offered the vaccine. The only thing we can do to help everyone is make the appointment when our time comes.

Keep your head up OP. I'm actually shocked that there are this many people who would prefer you to keep your good news to yourself, because they are unhappy with their situation.
I am in one of the last groups and I am so happy for those who get to have it before me, because I'm not a miserable cow. But, to each their own.
Good luck and I hope you and your family have minimal side effects.

@littlepattilou

Totally agree - what does it matter who uses Facebook or not?! If you don't like it, come off it- if you like it, use it. Simple! 🤷‍♀️🙄

@garlictwist why is it a sensitive subject? It's quite easy, the ones that have had the vaccine are the ones that are in the categories specified. The rest of us wait our turn?

It's quite simple.

No one needs to know the reason you're in a particular category, it's private medical information sometime.

No secrets about the groups it's all on the government website.

So if someone younger had had it done, it's for a defined reason.

@garlictwist why shouldn't she post, on her own FB feed?

1. It encourages more people to get the vaccine for a start and 2. it wasn't a boasting post it was a 'high five' to the NHS and how well the vaccine programme is being rolled out so quickly.

OP your husband (from his response) sounds like a legend and Pam is clearly a twat. I wouldn't even engage with her further as Forest Gump says 'stupid is as stupid does' - there will be no apology from her as she is ... a twat. There is no educating her as she is ... a twat. We can't choose our families unfortunately Congrats on getting the vaccine. I'm healthy and young so I'll be last in the queue but I am thankful that I'm not vulnerable and am happy to wait in line. Screw you Pam!

Surely for those of you who haven't had it, it's reassuring to see so many people have? Possibly a reduction in transmission and proof they're flying through the lists?

Ive heard similar from a few people , I understand people are frustrated but the lists are based on risk by medical people so would assume they know more than Pam.
Personally I would block Pam as she has gone to far and been personally rude , although I might have to respond if me , but thats just me and tbf probably better to be the better person and just block and move on

@LouJ85

*@littlepattilou*

Totally agree - what does it matter who uses Facebook or not?! If you don't like it, come off it- if you like it, use it. Simple! 🤷‍♀️🙄

I know right. It really boils my piss when people look down their nose at people who use facebook, like they're some kind of low-life, low-intellect peasant, who needs to grow up and get a life and get off facebook...

As I said earlier, the few people I know who ARE arseholes aren't on my facebook friends list anyway!