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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Piss off, Pam!

999 replies

FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 12:38

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
moanieleminx · 24/02/2021 14:37

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

"You're right Pam, it has nothing to do with my caring responsibilities or DH's condition, I was just trying to spare your feelings. The truth is, the medical community at large discussed it, and agreed that as you'd be no great loss to humanity, they wouldn't rush to vaccinate you. Sorry Sad"
Brilliant!!!!
CaffineismyBFF · 24/02/2021 14:37

Why is Pam "a friend" on your Facebook? Delete her and message her to tell her how rude you think she is. Then block her so she can't even reply! You don't need that toxicity in your life.

Equally there are a lot of haters out there in relation to the vaccine. You shouldn't have to explain why you have had it / are going to get it. That's your business. Why feel the need to share on Facebook (or anywhere really!). People share way too much on social media and it ends up with joe blogs knowing all your business.

Snowpatrolling · 24/02/2021 14:37

I’m with you op. I admire your restraint cos I would have torn”aunt Pam” a new one, and publicly at that!!!

Rupertbeartrousers · 24/02/2021 14:37

@Chloemol

I would comment publicly that you are extreme,y disappointed in Pam’s comments as she is fully aware of the background. That you are very upset with family members and their comments and that as they obviously do not care about you or your family it’s made it very easy for you to cease all contact with them forthwith until they have the decency to apologise for their extremely upsetting comments. Then block
I like this approach. Moral high ground all the way.

You didn’t set the order of vaccination groups or parade into the doctors feigning qualifying illnesses - If she could swap lives with you she would qualify too, but you will still be a carer long after she’s got her vaccine and booked her next cruise.

Alexandernevermind · 24/02/2021 14:37

You have some pretty toxic people on your friends list. Time for a bit of a clean up, starting with Pam and her cronies. I wouldn't bother replying, it'll only get twisted, I would just block her.
Actually there are some pretty toxic people on this thread too. Why shouldn't @FuckingFabulous post on her fb page a celebration that she has had the jab? Each and every vaccination is a cause for celebration.

Toilenstripes · 24/02/2021 14:38

I had my jab this morning and put it on fb because I was happy and wanted to share. Fortunately my friends and family aren’t jealous aholes. In fact, most people aren’t!

saraclara · 24/02/2021 14:38

@LouJ85

I've just checked and I'm priority Group 2. Yet I haven't yet had it. Should I too be "fuming" at all the "boasters" (my work colleagues / friends) on my Facebook page that say they've had it?

Honestly I just couldn't allow myself to get that worked up about other people's choices if I'm honest, got enough going on in my own life.

If you're priority group 2, then go on the govt booking website or dial 119 and book an appointment. What are you waiting for?
LouJ85 · 24/02/2021 14:39

If you're priority group 2, then go on the govt booking website or dial 119 and book an appointment. What are you waiting for?

I'm heavily pregnant and midwife has advised against. I will have it after my baby is born.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 24/02/2021 14:39

@Aprilx

I think the rules are so broad that they do catch people they were maybe not supposed to. Because I am struggling to understand why you need it because you are a looking after a child, who obviously is at close to zero risk, and I am not sure why somebody needs it because of ADHD either. So perhaps you should not rub people’s noses in it by posting on Facebook, when they probably are at greater risk than you.
Who is going to provide 24 hr care to her ILL DD if the OP gets Covid?

If you actually read the OP's posts before rushing in to post your message, you'd have seen it's not his ADHD that places him in G6

NoGoodPunsLeft · 24/02/2021 14:39

i think people are really at the end of their rope. Pam may be really suffering with the anxiety of the situation.
Be kind to Pam

Yes we are all at the end of our rope but I'd rather be the healthy 40 year old I am than qualify for the vaccine now!

And why should the OP be kind to someone who was so hateful to her?

OP's life sounds so hard, surely Pam needs to be a bit ducking kind to her Angry

Longdistance · 24/02/2021 14:39

The only thing Pam needs is a kick up the arse. Tell her to fuck off!
Be kind to Pam 🤦🏽‍♀️

HavelockVetinari · 24/02/2021 14:41

Never mind rolling out the vaccine, we ought to be rolling out reading comprehension lessons judging by the sheer number of daft posts on this thread flapping about caring and ADHD Hmm

YANBU OP, she sounds utterly awful. Block and forget.

WolfHunter · 24/02/2021 14:41

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal reply is perfect!

Mine would be "Fuck off Pam you miserable cunt" but then, that is far too polite. 😁

I'm going back to spending all day surrounded by children unvaccinated. I have not be invited so that's that. 🤷‍♀️ Am I bitter that people in group 6 are being vaccinated... No. People that need it are in front of me in the queue. Would I like it? Absolutely, I am so worried about bringing it home to my family. But that's how the government is playing it and I'll get it when I am invited. You have all been invited, why would you refuse it? She's a twat.

SleepingStandingUp · 24/02/2021 14:43

@LouJ85

I've just checked and I'm priority Group 2. Yet I haven't yet had it. Should I too be "fuming" at all the "boasters" (my work colleagues / friends) on my Facebook page that say they've had it?

Honestly I just couldn't allow myself to get that worked up about other people's choices if I'm honest, got enough going on in my own life.

You should call the GP, you DEF should have had it by now.
Gembie · 24/02/2021 14:43

Oh god ignore her.

Plenty of comments like this from the v thick public who can’t get their head round clinical risk. Those more likely to suffer severe complications/die are offered the jab first. Age is just one factor - things like diabetes, obesity, lung conditions trump that. Yes some areas are slightly ahead of others, possibly related to that areas demographics

Genderwitched · 24/02/2021 14:43

You're showing off about having the vaccine. You must have known it would rile other people. Why boast?

Then they deserve to be riled up!! Just repost that you are very happy and glad to have had it which should rile her a bit more. Then block.

littlepattilou · 24/02/2021 14:44

@Goslowlysideways

I deleted Facebook a year ago and I haven't missed it once.
. Here you go hun... especially for you.
Piss off, Pam!
IAmMeThisIsI · 24/02/2021 14:44

"Nah Pam. They're only vaccinating those they deem fit enough to go on with the rest of the human race. Stupid cunts are being outbred. They're calling it The Darwin Vaccine".

crikeycrumbsblimey · 24/02/2021 14:44

Erm Pam doesn’t run a pre school does she?

She sounds very dull!

SleepingStandingUp · 24/02/2021 14:44

Sorry Lou just saw you're heavily pregnant. Congratulations and hopefully the number of people having the jab will help to protect people like you until you're able to get it.

LouJ85 · 24/02/2021 14:44

You should call the GP, you DEF should have had it by now.

I'm heavily pregnant and shielding from my front line job. I'll have it after baby is born.

Topseyt · 24/02/2021 14:45

Pam sounds like a bigoted and opinionated twat. Block her and those who seem to like and encourage her twattery on all of your social media. That way you won't be confronted by it all of the time.

You don't have to be friends with her just because she is a relative. You don't have to pay her any attention at all.

Personally, I would stop over-sharing on FB. It really is none of anyone else's business when you get your vaccine and you are opening yourself up to shit from people like her. Do yourself a favour and spare yourself the bother that she will cause.

Originalusername2021 · 24/02/2021 14:45

@littlepattilou 😂😂😂

Chickychickydodah · 24/02/2021 14:46

I think my response would be ‘fuck off Pam you nasty bitch’ and then block her!

This ⬆️

solicitoring · 24/02/2021 14:46

Pam is a twat. But did your husband seriously get the vaccine early due to adhd?

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