Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Piss off, Pam!

999 replies

FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 12:38

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/02/2021 14:29

There are some people on this thread - @HOkieCOkie and @Aprilx - who owe the OP an apology. If - and it is a big if - they have any sense of decency, it will be forthcoming.

picklemewalnuts · 24/02/2021 14:29

It's the old chestnut.

"Pam dear, you can have our vaccines if you take on our health issues. Until you have the same responsibilities and disabilities, you can wait with everyone else."

FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 14:29

Be kind to Pam.

Count my blessings.

Be kind to Pam and count my blessings......

I am sure your comment was given with the loveliest of intentions but Pam is a bitch and Pam has mocked my DH for his disability and completely dismissed everything I do as a carer.

Pam (and everyone like her frothing at the mouth because they've not yet been called for their vaccine) ought to count THEIR blessings that they don't have to live with a condition or situation that prioritises them!

OP posts:
acatcalledjohn · 24/02/2021 14:30

"Clearly being a gigantic cunt isn't a listed condition either, or you'd have been the first vaccinated!"

Grin
littlepattilou · 24/02/2021 14:30

@Summersun2020

“Boasting” is such a weird way to look at it. Well all get it eventually, it’s being rolled out really efficiently. The more people are vaccinated the quicker we will get back to normal. Every vaccination is good news for EVERYONE. People are honestly pathetic 🙄
Exactly this. Some people are incredibly obtuse, and narrow-minded, and utterly selfish, with their stamping their feet, and screaming 'IT'S SO UNFAIR THAT SHE GOT THE VACCINNE! I SHOULD HAVE GOT IT FIRST! WAAAH WAAAH WAAAHHHH.'

Their hate and vitriol towards those who have it is childish and misplaced. Go rant at your GP surgery, not those who have been offered the vaccine, and taken it!

To the ones who are angry and resentful that some people under 60 have taken the vaccination.... Would you rather 56 year old Jane in Milton Keynes refused it because 63 year old Eileen in Crewe hasn't had it yet?

Yeah of COURSE you would, because you are self-centred, narrow-minded, and obtuse, and can't see any further than the end of your nose, or ANY further than your own selfish little world.

@oakleaffy

It is much better for everyone to stay OFF Farcebook, and those lucky enough to have a vaccine ought not to 'boast' about it...

I will not stay off facebook, and I will post what I like on facebook. People are free to unfollow/unfriend me. No-one has though. Probably because I am fortunate enough to not have self-centred arseholes in my circle of friends, colleagues, and family on my friends list. The few self-centred arseholes I know are not on my friends list...

deathbyprocrastination · 24/02/2021 14:30

YANBU she sounds vile.

Also, why the hell don't people READ THE OP!!!

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 24/02/2021 14:31

@cuddlymunchkin

You're showing off about having the vaccine. You must have known it would rile other people. Why boast?
Don't be daft
LouJ85 · 24/02/2021 14:31

It is much better for everyone to stay OFF Farcebook,

😂😂

MrBullinaChinaShop · 24/02/2021 14:31

@RubyViolet you really don’t have to ‘be kind’ to people who are nasty and vicious to you.

ExConstance · 24/02/2021 14:31

I got vaccinated in December through working in care. I would not have dreamed of posting anything about it on Facebook as I know it would have made even the nicest of my friends a little bit anxious, as we are all in our 60's and more vulnerable than average. I do think that Pam behaved appallingly but I do think it was insensitive of you to post this.

elfycat · 24/02/2021 14:31

I'm pleased the you and your DH are rightfully getting your immunisations, in your turn. I hope that you a)don't catch Covid or b) have a very good effect from it if you do.

I wouldn't wish ill on anyone as I believe that being mean or deliberately unpleasant takes a toll. I hope that Pam and her cronies develop a new and unflattering wrinkle for each act of nastiness they choose to do until they look like a can of spiteful prunes.

Goslowlysideways · 24/02/2021 14:33

I deleted Facebook a year ago and I haven't missed it once.

Toomanybedrooms · 24/02/2021 14:34

I would send Pam a —calm and friendly— message —trying— not to get mad saying something along the lines of:
Hi Pam!
I am sorry that you felt this way about Me and Mr FuckingFabulous got the vaccine before you. I do understand that it can be stressful and annoying especially at a time like this. repeating what you said in your reply the first time
I just wanted to notify you that I felt a little hurt the harsh reply.
Blah Dee blah Dee blah Dee blah (rubbing it all in on hurt you are

Kind regards FuckingFabulous.

LouJ85 · 24/02/2021 14:34

I've just checked and I'm priority Group 2. Yet I haven't yet had it. Should I too be "fuming" at all the "boasters" (my work colleagues / friends) on my Facebook page that say they've had it?

Honestly I just couldn't allow myself to get that worked up about other people's choices if I'm honest, got enough going on in my own life.

SleepingStandingUp · 24/02/2021 14:34

@HOkieCOkie

I’m sorry but I agree with Pam, first off all why can’t lll keep things to themselves anymore and how on earth does having ADHD make you a priority??
And why do people with poor comprehension skills come into a thread and comment when they're wrong
oakleaffy · 24/02/2021 14:34

@JustLyra

Congratulations on getting your vaccines, count your blessings.

@RubyViolet It’s not a blessing to be in a higher vulnerable group, or live with someone in a higher group.

The Pam’s of this world are the ones that should be counting their blessings.

I’d love to have been in the group with the rest of people my own age with no health issues in my household. I’m not that lucky. Those that are should count their blessings.

But young, for and healthy are slipping through the net..This is why it seems completely random.

A friend when I said ''We'll be at back of queue'' said he'd had his with no underlying conditions.

He mentioned it, but as he was there, they just went ahead anyway.

Seems to be a bit of a Lottery.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 24/02/2021 14:34

Thanks OP.

I'm now singing Polythene Pam! Not the most PC song in the world!

I have no idea why some people are so pissy about. Quite a few friends, including my perfectly healthy 32 year old SIL, have posted about having been vaccinated. I've congratulated them all, told them how jealous I am and asked about meeting later in the year!

What the fuck else do you do? Really feel jealous? Suspect they have cheated somehow? Stop talking to them?

Bloody ludicrous!!

IsabelleSE19 · 24/02/2021 14:35

Tell her that unfortunately she's not a suitable candidate for the vaccine unless she can get her bile levels right down

WhatMattersMost · 24/02/2021 14:35

Pam sounds like an arse.

I don't think you did anything untoward, OP.

JustLyra · 24/02/2021 14:35

@Goslowlysideways

I deleted Facebook a year ago and I haven't missed it once.
Good for you
FatCatThinCat · 24/02/2021 14:36

Pam is nasty a bitch. The people liking her comments are nasty bitches too. Block the whole fucking lot of them, on Facebook and in the real too. Who needs that toxicity in their lives.

And well done for posting about being vaccinated. The WHO/UNICEF are actively encouraging people to share being vaccinated on social media as it encourages others to get done too.

AcrossthePond55 · 24/02/2021 14:36

Honestly, I'm beginning to think we should treat getting the jabs the same way most of us would treat a huge lottery win: 'enjoy it but keep it quiet'.

I'm in the US and DH & I and my brother have had our 2 jabs based on age. Our adult DC and ONE cousin (our equivalent of a 'bubble) know but other than that we aren't broadcasting it. 'Vaccine envy' is rife here, too.

As far as Pam and the others, it shows them for who they really are. I wouldn't want people like that in my life. Block and delete.

LouJ85 · 24/02/2021 14:36

@ExConstance

I got vaccinated in December through working in care. I would not have dreamed of posting anything about it on Facebook as I know it would have made even the nicest of my friends a little bit anxious, as we are all in our 60's and more vulnerable than average. I do think that Pam behaved appallingly but I do think it was insensitive of you to post this.

Not everyone who hasn't been vaccinated yet thinks like this though. I didn't once see a post from my colleague and think "insensitive bastard, not thinking of me sitting at home being unable to have the vaccine yet!"

I thought "good on them, I'm really pleased there's been such a huge uptake".

Not everyone finds a reason to be personally offended by everything.

frazzledasarock · 24/02/2021 14:36

I don't get the 'everybody is queue jumping' posts, I've seen one on my fb feed, and upon asking it turned out the person had not queue jumped at all.

This pandemic is making everyone crazy.

ginnybag · 24/02/2021 14:37

FGS, why shouldn't people celebrate it?

For people being vaccinated because they're at extra risk, or their family is, it must be a huge source of relief and joy to know they have some protection now.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.