To share this earth shattering life changing news!

[Breastfeedingworries]

You don’t have to hang your clothes up!

Okay everyone else has known this a long time. I’ve spent years with a rail and mess at the bottom of a very large wardrobe space.

All through childhood I was told off for not hanging my clothes, the only draws I had were stiff painted vile things I had to use every ounce of childhood strength to open. (So I never did) was a very messy unorganised child surrounded by hangers and toys and told off on a daily basis.

I posted previously about getting the council house and being able to be freed from a psychologically controlling mother ( I’ve got learning difficulties, low self esteem and poor mh)

Today speaking to a close friend whose been seriously helping me organise the house, painting and decorating she asked why I was bothering with cupboards when I always end up in a mess. I never buy anything that creases as I don’t iron.

So long winded and bizzare but I’m buying two sets of 6 draws and I feel so free and happy.

Immediately Have been shot down and told I have to hang dresses ect and sent photos of old painted draws by family members...but this tiny bit of life knowledge has changed my outlook on my whole childhood. I wasn’t given the tools or correct support.

What young child wants to constantly hang their clothes...wants the stress of someone opening and checking... has the time with their adhd to concentrate and complete the task! (I’m still undiagnosed but suspected adhd but I’m also dyslexic and dyspraxic)

I’m just in shock about my past and this small thing has basically made me cry with happiness.

I thought you had to hang clothes neatly.

Fuck that!

@Octane

I don't get it – if you end up with piles of clothes because hanging is too much effort, don't your drawers just end up as piles of clothes too? Surely folding/rolling and arranging in a drawer is just as much work as slipping something onto a hanger?

Agree.

Strange

@ForeverBubblegum - Yes!!!! Most definitely this. I bloody hate hangers, they put me in a massive mood for all of these reasons.

And for everyone saying you "NEED" to hang certain stuff up - you really don't. You might choose to because you find it's easier for you, but that's not the same for all of us.

I fold/roll everything - yes, including evening dresses. I wear lots of maxi dresses during the day - all folded/rolled. Not even creased. Absolutely zero problem.

Bollocks to wardrobes, I say.

I'm glad you've found your freedom but for me, folding is much more of a faff than hanging.

@Skinnytailedsquirrel

What on earth are "draws"? Please help as I'm always looking for good tidying up tips. Thanks

Did it make you feel good to post that when it’s right there in the OP that she is dyslexic? Pathetic!

@Newkitty

Congratulations!! I feel the same about making the bed

Glad it’s not just me

Another controlling, belittling mother here

I’ve never told my kids to tidy their room or make their bed (when they were younger I used to help them when they got overwhelmed)

Strangely, their rooms are pretty tidy and they usually make their bed

Sorry forgot to add

Good for you OP - make that voice in your head yours and not your mother’s

I like to hang stuff up as it’s less likely to crease, but each to their own.

The important thing is finding a system that works for you. Ignore what other people say.

(And there’s nothing wrong with being a bit messy).

That was beautiful to read in the morning! Thank you for sharing ❤️

I also spent my entire childhood feelings like a disastrous mess because my mum doesn’t mince her words (she had a point but I’m sure I have adhd)

It’s great to step away and reframe it as your choice to live with drawers

I’m a fan of the iron and the wardrobe though I admit

I also find it easier to hang than fold, but agree that all adults should do exactly what they like when it doesn't affect anyone else or other people don't give you the same courtesy.

For example, I see endless comments on here along the lines of 'I'm looking forwards to being an old widow/getting divorced because then I'll be able to eat what I like and not cook big heavy 'man meals' that I don't want to eat.

Early in our relationship I realised that, after thinking up a long list of meals I would like to cook and eat, only to then think 'but DP won't eat that' I thought 'fuck it, I'll cook what I like and he can either eat it or sort himself out'.

So now I say 'I'm making X, do you want some' and sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't, but that's his choice.

Congratulations! I hope this is the beginning of you believing in yourself

Op look up Marie Kondo rolling clothes. This helped me move from having a floordrobe to using draws

Good for you OP. Whatever works for you, that’s the main thing.

I hang all our clothes using decent velvet hangers and clippy trouser hangers for trousers so stuff doesn’t fall off. I’d end up losing my mind if I wanted to find a specific top and had to take a whole drawer of clothes out to find it (and it would always be at the bottom when I’m running late) for then the rest of it to end up not folded properly so having to refold. Then to find it’s too creased to wear. Too much effort.

@Skinnytailedsquirrel

What on earth are "draws"? Please help as I'm always looking for good tidying up tips. Thanks

Nasty

You've really made me smile!

I hate hanging stuff up. You should get a t-shirt folder. Sounds silly but I bought one from Amazon. It means everything you fold is very neat and the same size so makes it even easier to fit everything in your drawers!

I’d end up losing my mind if I wanted to find a specific top and had to take a whole drawer of clothes out to find it (and it would always be at the bottom when I’m running late) for then the rest of it to end up not folded properly so having to refold. Then to find it’s too creased to wear. Too much effort

I agree, but I followed the Marie Kondo method of folding and everything is now stacked vertically. So easy to see, pull out and not disturb the rest. Took me a few days over last lockdown to get the drawers organised, but now I love it and won’t go back to the old way

You can have open shelves, too. Deep, open shelves, like shops have. Marvellous.

I wear the same clothes just about every day with identical sets and that involves just about no hanging of anything.

I used to spend literally hours ironing every week. I couldn’t understand how others never ironed yet their clothes looked fine.
Fast forward, different opportunities to spend my time on and I haven’t ironed anything for a few years. Fabulous.
I prefer hanging stuff to folding but each to their own.
OP enjoy your freedom, glad you’ve ditched the hated hangers, carry on doing what’s right for you.

It's a great thread. I love it when ADHD adults post breakthroughs in how to live more easily.

I haven't mastered the clothes thing yet. But Flylady's 5 minute room rescues and 15 minutes to company ready changed my life. I never feel overwhelmed now, even if the house is temporarily a tip.

Well done OP, I’m sure this is the start of great things for you.

If anyone comments negatively on your approach, and you don’t have the confidence to just say ‘I like it like this so tough’ then just say you’re using the Marie Kondo approach.

I also like to apply her idea (of things needing to be either useful or sparking joy to avoid being chucked away) to people too

@Skinnytailedsquirrel

What on earth are "draws"? Please help as I'm always looking for good tidying up tips. Thanks

Ignore the smug nasty bitches like squirrel.

Also ignore those posters trying to tell you that hanging is better. Better is whatever works for you. Enjoy your your new house, your new 'rules', your new new life. You can do whatever makes you happy so keep on doing it. It's great to read something so positive when most posts are moany, thank you.

I'm absolutely of the opinion of you do you.

Your system would make me depressed. If I had enough room I would have everything hanging as it's so much easier to see and stops things getting creases. And I do iron pretty much everything because I prefer it that way.

But it is liberating doing things your way and not the way your mother showed you. My mother didn't iron anything either!

Good for you! I prefer drawers, why hang up little tops etc.

Little tip I have discovered- do horizontal piles so you can see what items are in the drawer.