To quit my job because of my weight

[AmberMay08]

I’m due back to work in 5 weeks time.

I’ve been on maternity leave. DC was born 8 weeks before the first lockdown.

During my pregnancy my BMI was 34, not ideal, but not as bad as it is now.

I’ve gained a lot of weight since having DC and my BMI is now 40.

I was diagnosed with PND last year, I’m not trying to use this as an excuse but I just haven’t been in the right frame of mind to loose weight.

I’m terrified of going back to work. I’ll be there 3 days and I have to go into the office.
I put in writing to request working from home but my request was denied as they said the office is Covid secure. (I’ve sought advice from ACAS and they’ve said it’s not the law to work from home)

DC will be going to nursery whilst I’m at work.

I’m petrified that I will catch Covid and i know when I get it my chances of survival are very slim.
I’m 35 with a BMI of 40, I also have asthma.

I’m in group 6 for the vaccine but I have no idea when this will be.

I’m so close to just handing in my notice because it feels like to much of a risk going to work and i dont want to leave my baby without a mum.

I can’t really afford to quit but for the sake of my
Health I’d make it work.

I don’t know what I’m looking for really, just someone to tell me I’m doing the right thing.

Quitting work is silly op. You’ve said you can’t afford it and as everyone has said, there is every chance you’ll be fine if you get it. You could just as easily get it in tesco than from being in work. You’ve already lost 6 pounds which is great and now the weather is getting better you can get out for more walks/bike rides or whatever and stop snacking etc - do what you know you need to do to lose the weight. In 5 weeks you can lose over a stone and you can keep going. That will he far better for you, mentally, physically and financially than quitting your job.

Go back to work op. It will do wonders for your mental health. Wear your mask, use hand sanitizer if your worried wear a face shield too.

Have you spoken to work about your concerns? What measures have they put in place to reduce the risk of catching it? You’ve not been there for a long time but presumably they will have a strategy in place so I think you are jumping the gun a bit to think catching it is a foregone conclusion

Why not post a new thread in the weightloss or exercise board and check in regularly for support. There are lots of people in the same boat as you. So many people have put on weight in lockdown and want to get it off now.
I would join you there. I have been eating well but not doing enough exercise.

@Miseryl

Walking won't make a massive difference to weight loss. Your diet is where you need to make the major changes.

@Miseryl

I do know this. I’ve seen my GP.
80% is food 20% is exercise.

The rules are clear, if you can work from home you should. So regardless of your office being covid secure if your job is one that you can do from home then you should be allowed to wfh and if your employer isn't supportive then i can understand why you might be looking for a new employer.

@riotlady

You can calculate your risk here

www.qcovid.org/Calculation

I put in a BMI of 40 and asthma for you, no other conditions and it gave me a risk of covid death of 0.0006%

If this is the one I did a few days ago, it seems not to take the new variants into account. I heard that for the new variant, women are as much at risk as men whereas this calculator takes 5 years off if you're a women. Anyone else heard similar? This is not to scare you OP. Your risk is still small overall.

@Esse321

The rules are clear, if you can work from home you should. So regardless of your office being covid secure if your job is one that you can do from home then you should be allowed to wfh and if your employer isn't supportive then i can understand why you might be looking for a new employer.

This is also true.

Jesus christ the amount of people who think covid is a death sentence for them. Scaremongering is super effective!

OP you chances of getting very ill are very slim indeed. Yes your weight puts you at increased risk, but at your age the risk is so small that even with the increase it’s tiny.

A third of people suffer no symptoms at all, and plenty of being similarly obese and much older than you have only mild symptoms.

It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety which is normal for going back to work, especially in a year like this. It would be a good idea to talk to your GP about how to manage your anxiety better, but there is no reason not to get back to work - it sounds like it will do you good. If you stay home your anxiety may really start to get the better of you.

You're being really overly dramatic here. You're very unlikely to catch covid and even if you do you're not going to die cos you're a bit fat! Give yourself a bloody wobble.
Have you honestly stayed in your house isolated from everyone, not going to the shops, for a walk etc? Come on. Get your shit together and go to work.
Fwiw my bmi is higher.

6lb in 2 weeks is amazing! You carry on and and nearly a stone will be gone by the end of the month. Totally understand your anxiousness but as other posters have said you’re young and low risk.

You will be fine. I am morbidly obese, have asthma and work for the NHS and have been at work throughout Covid 19. I am also much older than you so will be higher risk. I have also found that along with most other people locked down, if I have days off I am far more likely to snack than when I am at work so getting back to work with a healthy packed lunch might be your chance to lose some weight. I take fresh soup and some fruit each day.
Unfortunately, the press have done such a good job of terrifying everyone that your anxiety is understandable but you are very unlikely to get unwell from Covid.

Go on a diet. You could lose a stone in a month no bother.

You can't not go back. That would be giving in to your anxiety which has made you totally unrealistic about your risk level. As soon as you give in to it, your anxiety will take off even more, and you'll be ruled by it.

You're doing three days at a Covid safe office. Take all the precautions that anyone should be taking, and you should be fine. Numbers of cases are dropping daily. In five weeks they'll be even lower and you'll probably have had your first vaccination.

Jeeze, my daughter returned after maternity leave to go and nurse in a Covid ward just as this last wave sent cases and deaths sky high. You're going to be in a Covid safe office, vaccinated, with cases low.

Come on now...

Bloody hell the propaganda machine has a lot to answer for. I’m guessing the OP isn’t the only one terrified out of all proportion.

OP - the problem here is your anxiety - not Covid. You really really need to understand that. You’ve convinced yourself that Covid is a death sentence when your chances of dying are very very small - and that’s if you actually caught it at all! You need to start looking at facts and try and get a sense of proportion around the risk here. This is no way to live.

If your main concern is your health, I'd suggest that getting out of the house, focusing on work, seeing other people and being more active generally, mentally and physically, would be the best possible option for you.

The statistics are very clear about your level of risk and it is not anywhere near high enough to induce this level of anxiety.

@AmberMay08 I apologise if this comes across as unkind, but you seriously need to get a grip. You are being ridiculous

I am an asthmatic, I am overweight, not a clue on my bmi but probably around the 40 mark if not higher.

I work in an office and as a key industry I have worked although covid. I suffer crippling anxiety so I do understand why you feel this way but to financially cripple your family is ludicrous.

Your office cannot be open unless they have met the covid secure criteria.

Your survival chances are not slim at all

If your asthma is well controlled and you are otherwise healthy your weight has very little contributing factor.

OP I have a BMI of 38 and I had COVID in January. I'm 39 and I have a baby too, she's 14 months. I was like you OP - I thought I was going to die. I felt dreadful and I'm pretty sure a significant part of it was the psychological fear that as an obese person I was going to die because of COVID. I thought I would end up in hospital and I cried because my little girl would end up without a mum.

The thing is OP, I didn't. I was so sure that because of how much I weighed I would die and I didn't. I got better. I got through it and I felt dreadful, I stayed in bed for a week, I wanted to pass out every time I stood up and once I had to lie in the bath while it was filling up because I couldn't even sit next to it, but I didn't have to go to hospital and most importantly I didn't die.

I was desperate for stories from other obese women around my age at the time, because in my head my weight was a death sentence. And I am determined to do something about it now - but the most important thing is OP, I didn't get taken away in the ambulance to the hospital, I didn't almost die actually, I just had a really rubbish time of it.

I'm just trying to say that your risk, even with a high BMI - it's still low. Really low.

If you love your job and do not want to quit then there are things you can do to prepare yourself and lessen your anxiety if you are willing to take action.
Get a counsellor/help with your health anxiety generally - your response and fear (leaving your child) is very normal. Almost every mother I know becomes so much more aware of their personal risks because the most important thing is their survival to protect their baby. Here we are in a pandemic and that is going to send you into overdrive even if your personal risk is minimal.
Take control of factors you can -your weight is in your control and you’ve already lost some weight which is great. I would consider spending money to see a dietician, explain your immediate concerns and it may be that a very restrictive diet for 5 weeks will put you at a much lower BMI however with you recently having a baby and potentially breast feeding a dieticians advice would be helpful rather than just doing it.
Consider boosting vitamin intake overall especially the bit D and K said to radically help with Covid.
There is preliminary evidence that some nasal sprays can help prevent you Covid getting into your system which lasts 5 hours. Not cheap and haven’t tried it yet but may help you with return to work (along with alcohol gel and obsessive showering ).
The problem with anxiety is you can’t logic your way out of it but it would be a terrible loss to you I think if you gave up work and I agree with your partner it would affect your mental health in a negative way so I would encourage you to try and feel empowered instead.

If your GP has your current weight on your records, then it’s very likely that you’ll have had the first dose of the vaccine by the time you’re due back at work.

Everything I’ve seen says that obesity is linked to most of the deaths in my age group. (Under 40’s)

Yes, but that’s most of a tiny number of deaths. You are still at low risk, OP. Sending you a hug and hoping you can let go of this anxiety.

you have six weeks.

If you diet every second day and walk miles pushing your buggy the other days, you can lose a lot in six weeks.
Don't lose your job.

I always feel like I could cope with anything but losing my job.

Going to work in an office is literally one of the safest jobs. You're not a teacher/nurse/bus driver or even a supermarket checkout person who are all in high risk jobs.

You are obviously anxious about returning to work which is completely understandable. But it's unsubstantiated.

Just because you are overweight does not mean you have low chance of surviving COVID!!! Not that you want to catch it, but let's not be hysterical.