To quit my job because of my weight

[AmberMay08]

I’m due back to work in 5 weeks time.

I’ve been on maternity leave. DC was born 8 weeks before the first lockdown.

During my pregnancy my BMI was 34, not ideal, but not as bad as it is now.

I’ve gained a lot of weight since having DC and my BMI is now 40.

I was diagnosed with PND last year, I’m not trying to use this as an excuse but I just haven’t been in the right frame of mind to loose weight.

I’m terrified of going back to work. I’ll be there 3 days and I have to go into the office.
I put in writing to request working from home but my request was denied as they said the office is Covid secure. (I’ve sought advice from ACAS and they’ve said it’s not the law to work from home)

DC will be going to nursery whilst I’m at work.

I’m petrified that I will catch Covid and i know when I get it my chances of survival are very slim.
I’m 35 with a BMI of 40, I also have asthma.

I’m in group 6 for the vaccine but I have no idea when this will be.

I’m so close to just handing in my notice because it feels like to much of a risk going to work and i dont want to leave my baby without a mum.

I can’t really afford to quit but for the sake of my
Health I’d make it work.

I don’t know what I’m looking for really, just someone to tell me I’m doing the right thing.

OP you will most likely get your first vaccine before you go back, group 6 is being done now, might be worth contacting your GP to ensure they have your current BMI on file. If you get your first vaccine done your chances of getting seriously ill are much diminished.

Just seen you've seen your GP so assume they have your weight on file, and that's a great loss well done

I'd advise going back if CV19 is the only thing you're worried about. Many people are due the vaccine soon anyway.

Don't quit your job if covid is the only reason OP. In the gentlest way I don't think you are thinking entirely logically right now and shouldn't be making big decisions. See how you feel in a few weeks, worse comes to worse, could you get signed off with anxiety for a while? Hopefully you will get a vaccine sooner rather than later.

Where are you getting the idea that your chances of survival are slim? What utter rubbish.

Group six are now being done A few weeks max so hang in

@BeakyWinder

Where are you getting the idea that your chances of survival are slim? What utter rubbish.

@BeakyWinder

Everything I’ve seen says that obesity is linked to most of the deaths in my age group. (Under 40’s)

OP I’ve been where you are.

I was obese years ago and I didn’t enjoy it one bit.
I also struggled with horrific anxiety after the birth of DS just before March lockdown (went the other way and stopped eating BMI dropped to 17).

You need to take a look at what you’re saying.

You are about to quit your job and financially strap your family rather than deal with your weight issue. I appreciate your extremely anxious and scared. But you’re worried for your life because of your weight not your job. Your weight is what’s putting your life in danger if you catch covid.

You could catch it anywhere, literally. I had to take DS to A&E last night- unavoidable

Deal with your weight issue if it’s causing you this much unhappiness. I lost 5 stone myself, I know it’s incredibly hard. But quitting your job and locking yourself at home is not the easier choice!

I've just seen you have 5 weeks. So you'll have had your vaccine. You'll probably have lost another stone. Well done on such a great start. 👍
Keep up the walking, take multivitamins and vitamin D (helps mood too). Get some lovely clothes ready - buy online now so that you always have some to wear over the next few months as your shape changes. Pamper yourself in the next few weeks with self-care.. nails, pedicure etc. Once you are out in the world running about, you'll probably feel much better. It will be warmer too, so perhaps you can ask to sit next to a window?

Walking won't make a massive difference to weight loss. Your diet is where you need to make the major changes.

Firstly you are overthinking your risk I reckon.

I found a calculator risk recently, an official one the nhs use. You start with your age, you take off five years for being female, you add five years for a bmi of 40, maybe a bit more for asthma.

So you’d be at 34 plus something for asthma. So even if you add 5 on for asthma that takes you to 39. I genuinely think age is the biggest factor. People in their 40s and below are mainly fine, even people in their 50s are mainly fine. Even for older people the chances of actually dying are small.

www.qcovid.org/Calculation

Here

And 6lbs weight loss in 2 weeks is amazing.

Plus you are almost assuming that you will catch it at work, I work in a massive office (1.5k people) but limited capacity when we were in & I only heard of a handful of cases.

I really hope you do go back because I think your DH is right & it will be good for you.

Well done on the weight loss so far 👍🏻

Everything I’ve seen says that obesity is linked to most of the deaths in my age group. (Under 40’s)

Yes but that doesn’t mean your chances of survival are slim. It means that of all the people in your age group, a tiny number die and most of those are linked to obesity.

Have you been into work? Covid secure means different things in different places. My workplace for example I feel totally safe in, but if I worked on a production line in a meat packing factory I suspect I'd feel differently. It may be that once you've seen the measures in place you'll be less anxious about catching it.

I think it would be an entirely reasonable request to wfh until you've had your first vaccination and had time for it to take effect and start to build immunity (around a few weeks, I think). Could you speak to your manager and see whether that would be a possible compromise? Or discuss taking unpaid leave until then (less drastic than quitting)?

As PP have said you have misunderstood your risk age is a way more significant factor than him. A tiny proportion of under 50’s die and of those then there are higher risk for those with higher BMI’s. The vast majority of deaths are and always have been over 70’s.

I do think quitting your job just because of Covid would be unwise considering you are likely to get the vaccine in the next few weeks and even if your were to get it your risk is low. Especially as you have said you have worked so hard for your job.

Op, my bmi is over 40, which is obviously not good. I work in a school that had over 20 cases among staff. You just have to get on with it. Mask and good hand hygiene with plenty of open windows. Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of misgivings about this whole situation but you simply can’t let it dominate your life.

Obesity being linked to most deaths in your age group doesn’t mean everyone who is obese who catches covid will die. It’s still a very tiny proportion of people in your age group. Yes it raises your risk but the risk is still minute.

YABU to consider quitting work over this. Focus on losing weight if that makes you feel better and try to focus on the fact that a) you’re unlikely to catch covid in a covid secure workplace if you follow the rules strictly and b) your chances of dying if you did catch it are absolutely tiny.

This is not a covid thing. This is an anxiety thing. Even if your risk of dying is 100 times greater than a “normal” woman of your age (which it won’t be - if it’s 10x higher you would have been put into group 4 under the new algorithm) then your chances of survival are still really high. And you would have to actually catch covid for it to be an issue.

If you are genuine this worried about going back to work then you need to be having treatment for anxiety. Contact your GP again and tell them what you’ve said on this thread.

My BMIs 40, I've never been overly concerned about covid.

I think you sound anxious. Which is absolutely understandable. Being a new mum does bring about a whole new range of feelings you never knew you had.

Go back to work OP. You are no more likely to catch Covid in a secure office than you are in a shop buying nappies. You might find the social aspect & sense of “normality” does you the world of good.

If you still feel the same 3 months in then review the situation.

You can calculate your risk here

www.qcovid.org/Calculation

I put in a BMI of 40 and asthma for you, no other conditions and it gave me a risk of covid death of 0.0006%

I think you're conflating several different stresses and adding them together. It is stressful going back to work after a baby, and after a baby in a pandemic where you've barely stepped outside for the last year. That's understandable. Do you usually have health anxiety, or is it just regarding this? I'd speak to your GP, follow social distancing and mask wearing guidelines.