Friend has completely changed

[Annapops1]

Good evening all, spent a while deciding on whether or not to post this on here but after several sleepless nights I'd really appreciate some advice.

Been friends with 'sarah' for 30 years, very close almost like sisters. Godmother to each others children and always the first person to call in a crisis or with a funny story etc.

We've been chatting about faith / religion and had decided that once lockdown was over we would quite like to go to a modern church and see what it was all about. We checked it out on zoom and all looked great, rock band on stage and young speakers etc. I'm not particularly religious but after loosing my mum I'd like to think that she is still "with us" in some way.

Anyways...my friend called me to say that she'd got chatting to a school mum who goes to the said church and that they'd arranged a walk. All fine. Following the walk friend calls to tell me how amazing mum friend is and that she'd love me to meet her etc. Friend goes on another walk with mum friend, calls me later to say how this mum friend has told her about when she met God and how Harry Potter is evil and encourages children to practice witchcraft.

Fast forward and friend and mum friend have met several more times...each time I get a phone call tell me things along the lines of she has now given her body to Jesus, how she's prayed for me to be filled with God's blood, that she's taken phones off her children as they encourage unsavoury activities etc etc.

This week being half term we met up with our children for a 3 hour walk...I kid you not I got "God" the whole time. Now going back to above, I'm not the anti-christ as I was happy to explore the new church etc but this is on another level. We got to the the highest point and she raised her hands and shouted how she loves Jesus. I was then told that if I didn't accept Jesus into my heart then I'd loose my place in heaven. I tried to change the subject but to no avail.

I literally couldn't wait to get home. This was now 4 days ago and I just don't know what to think. I've not heard from her since and I feel like I've completely lost my friend. She's unrecognisable...the things she's was coming out with to me makes me think she's been practically brainwashed.

Please tell me if you think I am overreacting? If you got this far, well done

Fascinating thread.
I think I agree with a pp's view that early life exposure to moderate religion can protect people from getting sucked into religious fundamentalism at a later stage.
My experience is similar.

OP, like previous posters I think your friend is filling a void in her life and has given up critical thought and emotional balance. I feel very sorry for her children and hope you find a way of being there for her without compromising your own values. Good luck

I was sucked into one of these churches as a teenager. They are very persuasive as the services are so high octane - people babbling in tongues, being healed, 'receiving the spirit' and falling over. I was one of those that 'received the spirit' and fell over through sheer peer pressure as I would have been too embarrassed to still be standing.

They persuade you that it's imperative that you tell people straight away in your circle that you have found Jesus.

This was back in the 80s and I'm sure they're still as creepy as hell. 'Home' services in people's houses in rooms lined with hundreds of bibles alongside the charismatic services.

Why does this app keep doing this to me? Posted in wrong thread (again)

Will report, and sorry

@speakout

People thing yoga is evil?

Absolutely- to do with the Kundalini, the serpent that sits at the bottom of our tail. Yoga uncoils the serpent.

My sister is a teacher at a large Baptist school.
They show 6 year olds that Santa is an anagram of Satan.

Other things that my sister'c church consider demonic

astrology
popular music
crystals
christmas trees
easter eggs
meditation
some MH techniques such as CBT
incense
healing work like reiki
dream analysis

Anything that has a new age type flavour.

Lol to 'demonic' this is one of my 'mum's' favourite words. And anything else that belongs to the establishment or is part of wider society's normal activities is known as 'Satan's territory' or 'the world' and 'normal', everyday things are 'worldly' things. Yoga, Harry Potter, astrology etc are occult. I watched live exorcisms from a young age and was frequently knocked down by the pastor under the guise of being 'slain by the Holy spirit'. I faked speaking in tongues as a child because the Holy spirit wasn't anointing me with The Gift of Tongues and I thought there must be something wrong with me... Unfortunately, to the poster who suggested Prevent : this is all standard beliefs and behaviour within the evangelical or pentecostal churches.

Is the catholic church considered demonic too, since they sometimes use incense?

TheChampagneGalop

My sister's church considers Catholicism to be demonic, yes.

Unfortunately, to the poster who suggested Prevent : this is all standard beliefs and behaviour within the evangelical or pentecostal churches.

I agree, these are not the cult fringes, they are all pretty mainstream Baptist/Pentacostal and are everywhere- all cities will have many, small towns, rural areas within the UK.

@TheChampagneGalop

Is the catholic church considered demonic too, since they sometimes use incense?

Yup. The Pope is Satan's Chief Priest, the saints are demons and Mary is (IIRC) the Whore of Babylon, all seeking to turn the soul away from God/Jesus.

Anti Catholicism (and in turn, racism towards nationalities which tend to have Catholic populations) is a real thing that hasn't gone away. A quick glance at the Mail's comments on any story relating to the Pope will show these comments.

Well I'm not surprised. These type of people tend to demonize others, even though they're also christians. Cults, they are all about control

Mary is (IIRC) the Whore of Babylon, all seeking to turn the soul away from God/Jesus.
Just curious: How was Jesus born according to them?

This is a typical evangelical conversion experience. There’s a lot more to come sadly. Lots of judgment of non believers, indoctrination and wacky practices. Usually the individual is vulnerable for some reason and they are looking for some deeper meaning or strength so advance with a quiet predisposition for radicalisation.

I agree. Your friend had an unanswered need, and her new "friend" recognised this and has drawn her in. Please be patient (or Christlike if you will ). She may cool off when the church fails to deliver prosperity/health/etc as promised.

However I note that you were considering attending church even before she met this woman. Looking back, was that being driven by your friend? Has this all been going on longer than you realise?

@TheChampagneGalop

Well I'm not surprised. These type of people tend to demonize others, even though they're also christians. Cults, they are all about control

Mary is (IIRC) the Whore of Babylon, all seeking to turn the soul away from God/Jesus.
Just curious: How was Jesus born according to them?

Different Mary. That one was the Virgin. The Catholic One is an imposter.

Speaking as someone who watched both my sister and mother go through this process yuo need to urge some caution OP.

Those going through the "born again" process will be told by their church that Satan will appear in many guises to try to steer them off course He will manifest in the form of concerned friends, worried relatives, and trying to reason will only give the person "examples" of Satan trying to stop the process.
In effect it can add fuel to the fire, strengthen resolve. Elder church members will point to these examples of concern as manifestation of Satan's attempts, proof that she is on the right track evidence of Satan's work.
If you try to appeal to reason and logic your words and intentions will be twisted, and may backfire.

Best to stay back, say you will be there is she needs you and let her follow her own path.

I’m really sorry OP but I think you’ve lost her. It won’t be long until she decides she can only be friends with those who share her faith. I’m really sorry, my sister went through something similar with a friend of hers. It didn’t seem as extreme as yours, but the friendship never recovered and it’s been 10+ years. The Church just became 100% of her world and anything or anyone not connected to Church at best didn’t matter to her any more, and at worst was actively rejected.
I’m so sorry, I suppose there’s always a chance she’ll “recover” but by the sounds of it itwould take a huge life event to turn things around.

Sounds like a Pentecostal Church. I had a friend who suddenly declared she was a Born Again Christian. Her life revolved around the Pentecostal Church. She had a special table, that nobody, including her family, were allowed to touch. She spent her days at the table copying out verses of the bible. Her children were no longer allowed to celebrate Christmas by receiving presents. Christmas became an occasion where her children had to pray to the Lord, giving thanks to Him for their life and celebrating the life of His son, Jesus. They were also expected to help out those less fortunate than themselves on Christmas Day, serving homeless people their Christmas Dinner - They didn’t have Christmas Dinner, themselves, because they were fortunate that God gave them a hearty dinner ever day! Made from his loins no doubt lol! They were aged 9 and 7.

Anyway to cut a long story short DF ran off with the Pastor (himself leaving his wife and 2 young children) and lost her children, family and friends.

Hopefully your DF sees the light before she finds herself in a situation she can’t escape from and loses everything. She has to realise this for herself though. There is nothing you can do about it.

As a spiritual person, I would also be concerned if this happened to my friend. And also very sad because there are lots of lovely and tolerant religious groups and/or churches she could have experienced and found jesus in but she seems to have got caught up with quite a worrying group.

she seems to have got caught up with quite a worrying group.

But not anything out of the ordinary.

In my local town of 12 thousand people we have all the usual christian churches, plus two Baptist and one Pentacostal church.
Several nights of the week you can go to hands on healing, talking in tongues at one of these churches.

These are not minority fringe sects of christianity.
Baptists and Pentacostal church members dont come across as whackoes, - it's only when you join the church and explore the values you undersytnd just how wild and extreme most of them are.

We've been chatting about faith / religion and had decided that once lockdown was over we would quite like to go to a modern church and see what it was all about. We checked it out on zoom and all looked great, rock band on stage and young speakers etc. I'm not particularly religious but after loosing my mum I'd like to think that she is still "with us" in some way.*

To detour slightly from your friend,what on earth did you expect to be doing in this church? Or getting from it? Listening to a band and some cool young speakers?

She’s been brainwashed and ‘gone a bit funny’. Her poor kids.

There is nothing you can do I think although I’m no expert - maybe do some reading around deradicalisation and cults etc.

Don’t go near that ‘church’!!

I have dipped in and out of these churches in late teens early twenties. No coincidence I was under mental health services, very vulnerable and quite unwell. I was able to hold on a bit and leave. Still get anxious about things related to it if I think about it. Would like a nice calm Anglican Church one day again as don’t actually want to not have a faith but haven’t found that. They were anti psychology

Thanks to all for your replies... some of you did ask for an update and so this evening I got a message from my friend.
It's been a really horrible week. I've stayed low contact and it's been difficult. I've never felt as lost and low. I always knew that our friendship was special but hadn't realised just how much.
Anyways... I got a message this evening asking if we could have a chat. I immediately burst into tears as I felt a sort of relief that at least she still wanted to speak with me. I called her and I had to be really honest. Said that I was uncomfortable at our walk last week and how I found her level of intensity to be too full on for me. I went on to explain although I did want to explore my faith further, it may only be 10% of my life. She immediately apologised and said that she had got carried away and just felt so excited that she wanted to share it all with me but that she now realises that if she was in my shoes she would have found it too full on too. We talked about it further and I am in no doubt that she will continue along her path but that she also values our friendship as much as I do. To say that I am relieved is an understatement and I will be keeping a close eye on how things develop with her beliefs and the particular church she has chosen. I've looked further into the said church and it's definitely not for me...it's a Pentecostal evangelical church and some of the reviews echo my concerns. I have however researched further into a church which is more "me" and once lockdown has ended I will be going along to see how it suits. I guess from this whole experience I've learnt to actually look into things myself rather than agreeing to things blindly.
Please no hate comments or faith arguments. I appreciate everyone has the right to choose and I am in no doubt that my friend has been drawn into something I don't want to be part of and which may, further down the line, cause issues again. X

Oh op I'm glad you've talked it out and you feel better, hopefully you can both continue on now respecting each other's views and hoped once lockdown is over you'll have more time to see each other

That's a really positive result OP.

Thank you both 💗