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Original poster

Has life turned out better or worse Than you expected?

174 replies

Sunnydays999 · 19/02/2021 13:17

For me it’s better ( not including lockdown)
Had a awful childhood and difficult teens as I dealt with the hand I was given . Now I look back and think things are so much better than I thought they ever would be .Not a millionaire or anything, but
Healthy no major issues
Healthy kids
Job I like
Good husband
Like my home
Nothing out the ordinary but the sort of things I thought would be out of reach to me
Life is definitely better than I thought it would be . But that’s maybe because I had a horrendous childhood- but anyway what about you

OP posts:
Mol1628 · 19/02/2021 19:59

Rubbish.

I have a good relationship and amazing children but for me as my own person. It’s rubbish.

No job. No way I’ll ever get one now. Made many bad decisions the main one being having children too young and not having a secure job.

I’m really, really bored. All the time.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 19/02/2021 20:02

@SausageCrush I'm so so sorry. Words from a stranger can't help I know but I'm so incredibly sorry.

Toorapid · 19/02/2021 20:02

Until recently, way, way better and TBH I never could quite believe my luck, was always waiting for something to go wrong.

Now, DH is terminally ill in his early 50s and I'd swap all my previous good fortune.

SplendidSuns1000 · 19/02/2021 20:06

Better. I got to a point where I thought I'd be living alone in a tiny flat working 500 hours a week to barely make rent and eating beans and cheap sausages for every meal forever. Then I met DH and got my shit together, got a better job, flat and then moved in with him. Now we own our dream home in the country, I don't have to work and I'm happier than I ever thought I could be. The biggest worry in my own life is what I'll be having for tea tonight. I'm very fortunate.

justanothermamma · 19/02/2021 20:12

Better, so not what I expected, it's what I dreamt of but I never thought I'd get it!

I imagined I'd never meet anyone and end up in some big city alone and maybe travel the world.

Instead, my dreams came true! I met the love of my life, started a good job, got a house, had a baby, got married, had another baby and now we're about to move to our dream home.

There has been loss along the way and illness in the family is something we're coping with right now, but we are a strong family unit. So things can always be better in life.. but that's life!

I honestly have to pinch myself sometimes.

CarCastle6289 · 19/02/2021 20:14

I've had good & bad times

My life is better than expected

I try to make the most of some of the simple things

rabbitcow · 19/02/2021 20:18

I achieved my dream career, but other things have taken an unexpected turn! I am largely content though. I am in my 50s and some of my friends haven't made it this far.

Rainyday4321 · 19/02/2021 20:30

@SausageCrush- so many sympathies.
I speak from experience of losing a child.
Yes you will be changed forever
And you may find that in time you live with the grief rather than It being the only thing in your life.
In the meantime sending many thoughts your way.

JaneNorman · 19/02/2021 20:30

I genuinely don’t remember ever thinking more than a year or two ahead until I got to my early-mid 20s. I certainly never had a vision for what my career would be like, went to uni with no real idea of what I wanted to do afterwards.

Towards the end of my 20s I went through a stage of thinking I’d never get married and definitely wouldn’t have children. I was single at the time. I’m now very settled with two DC so I guess it’s turned out different to what I expected from that time but not necessarily better. I just changed my mind about what I wanted in life.

I’m sure there are some people that think I’m living the dream (or a dream for someone). Happy at home, two DCs, a nice mortgage free house and I’ve reached the top of my profession. I earn more than I could ever have imagined. But I’m very aware that life could very easily take a turn for the worse in all sorts of directions so I am very grateful for my current situation.

Rainyday4321 · 19/02/2021 20:34

Better and worse
Good husband, financially very comfortable beyond what I imagined, love my chosen profession and run own business which I love.
IVF- didn’t expect it, but had 2 wonderful daughters. Delighted- counted our blessing every night.
Lost youngest child in an accident.
Had another child- last roll of IVF dice. Beautiful child- balm to the soul.
Not sure I’d have been able to heal from the grief without her.

The rest is ‘normal’ stuff.

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 19/02/2021 20:42

Mainly worse.

I thought I would be living in a big house in the country with lots of children, lots of dogs and horses.

Instead I have one DS (who is wonderful and I absolutely adore. Cannot stress that enough) but birth injuries mean I can't have any more children. Never planned to have an only. Breaks my heart. I would love to go through surrogacy or adopt but OH won't do it.

I have 1 dog and OH won't allow me to get anymore.

Have a nice house but it's in a city. Not what I pictured.

Never got married. Been together 12 years and seems it's not going to happen now. I imagined my dad's father of the bride speech a lot and now he's been diagnosed with advanced cancer so I don't think I will ever get to hear it.

Oh and the birth injuries mean no horse riding either.

All that said, I wouldn't change my DS for the world. I have wonderful parents. So I'm luckier than some

Classicbrunette · 19/02/2021 20:50

As a child I thought I’d marry a millionaire, have 6 kids, 6 dogs and a swimming pool. Thank god I didn’t haahaa.. instead I married a decent man had 2 kids no dogs and no swimming pool, now on my own with a lake next to the garden and life is rosy! So I guess better !

Eatingsoupwithafork · 19/02/2021 20:52

Better... grew up in extreme poverty, in and out of foster care and homeless shelters (didn’t even have a functioning toilet when at home or a bed to call my own). Now have a career (which I enjoy), a home and a loving husband and DD. Not a millionaire but have more than 14 year old me ever thought could be possible.

MrsBobDylan · 19/02/2021 21:26

Better. Horrible childhood, shit parents.

Met dh 19 years ago and life got good, I got therapy and got happy.

Only hardship is two of my three children have significant disabilities and one of them will never live independently. I was very sad for a few years but came out the other side.

I discovered that for all the things I am rubbish at, I enjoy parenting and am pretty good at it.

Davidrosen · 19/02/2021 21:41

I thought I’d get to have a happy relationship.
I thought I’d have at least 3 kids

My husband was abusive, I wasted 10years
Then he died

I worry incessantly about my only child who has processing issues. I worry about his future.

I’m old, I’ll never be in love again, and my child will grow up and leave.
Not really how I saw things working out.
But I have travelled a lot

Ohnomoreno · 19/02/2021 21:50

Was pretty much as planned until I had kids. More of a shit show now, lol.

felulageller · 19/02/2021 23:12

Much much worse.

I thought depression was something short term and recoverable once the environmental issues improved not something that would reoccur for decades as the bad things just kept coming.

Financially I thought I'd be comfortable at worst, wealthy at best. Never thought I'd be in and out of poverty like a yo-yo.

I thought id meet someone fall in love get married have kids and live happily ever after. Had the kids but nothing else.

I thought that when I lost 4 stones as a teen I'd stay slim not get much fatter than I'd ever been and never lose it.

I thought I'd have a career- move up the ladder not have various career disasters/ maternity discrimination etc (thought that was in the past lol) to keep me tied to the bottom of the pile.

Life just isn't all its cracked up to be.

Kris02 · 19/02/2021 23:51

Worse: depression that keeps returning, health issues, money worries, rabbit hutch house, etc. Still, I do have moments of happiness, and that’s what you have to live for, I guess (like laying in the bath with a bottle of wine and a Jane Austen novel).

DenisetheMenace · 19/02/2021 23:52

Much better and I’m grateful.

oohmyback · 19/02/2021 23:57

@magnificentmug12 same for me. Life is good but was so much better pre Covid. I don't like my job, I don't want to do it but has to go back after our business was severely affected. We were set to sell the business and retire by 50. Now have no concrete plans 🤷🏻‍♀️

huggzy · 20/02/2021 00:25

Worse.

I thought i'd love being a Mum but I actually find it really hard. I guess that started with pregnancy being a total nightmare! I obviously never expected to have a child with ADHD but even so it's always been so hard. Neither of them sleep well, so that doesn't help.

Also, a strange one, but I thought i'd be fairly slim, how naive! I had a fast metabolism when I was younger, I ate what I wanted and stayed slim without any effort or exercise. I never considered that might change. I've been overweight for about 10 years now.

I certainly never pictured myself so anxious and stressed and on edge.

I do realise how lucky I am on the whole. We're reasonably healthy, we have a roof over our heads and plenty of food in the cupboards and I appreciate how lucky we are in that respect.

PatriciaBateman · 20/02/2021 00:25

Better than I expected, worse than I hoped - which is what I like to think is the right level of mental calibration.

I'm another one who had a hideous childhood, and although adulthood is a dream in comparison, I carry the past around with me like an inner ghost.

Rocket1982 · 20/02/2021 00:27

Some respects as hoped rather than expected... I wanted an intellectually fulfilling job and got it. Great kids. My H is often angry/hostile/stressed and I guess my relationship isnt what I would have hoped for.

MonsterMunchPaws · 20/02/2021 00:29

Same. Awful childhood, succeeded against the odds and hopefully still fighting on to a better start for my own dc. This is powerful stuff.

Pinkfreesias · 20/02/2021 00:40

Much better than I ever expected. Up until around age 35, I thought I was going to spend my life alone, that I would never love or feel loved, that I was unlovable.

I've had arthritis since I was a child and my physical health has since declined to the point of being housebound at times. I've long had problems with anxiety and am still trying to manage it. But I feel like the luckiest woman in the world to have found (and held on to!) a loving, kind, caring, generous, thoughtful and all round wonderful husband who thinks I'm the bees knees, too. He has changed me, and my life, so much.