Has life turned out better or worse Than you expected?

[Sunnydays999]

For me it’s better ( not including lockdown)
Had a awful childhood and difficult teens as I dealt with the hand I was given . Now I look back and think things are so much better than I thought they ever would be .Not a millionaire or anything, but
Healthy no major issues
Healthy kids
Job I like
Good husband
Like my home
Nothing out the ordinary but the sort of things I thought would be out of reach to me
Life is definitely better than I thought it would be . But that’s maybe because I had a horrendous childhood- but anyway what about you

Well... it wasn’t at all as I planned or expected but has exceeded my wildest dreams.

It has not been easy, far from it, but it has been a very fulfilling life 🙂

So far - so so so much better.

Up until my mid-20s I always thought deep down that my life would end in suicide. Like you I didn’t have a great childhood.

Now I have a good job, a lovely husband and a lovely toddler I am really happy.

But I don’t want to sound smug - I am only in my mid-thirties, and I have been very lucky in the last 10 years, so there is plenty of time for my fortunes to change.

Worse in the most obvious ways; better in ways I didn't imagine.

Bit of both I think.

Broken home which I never wanted but then don’t want someone who hates me with venom and insults me/threatens me. The optimistic in me loves my kids so I’m happy they are here and being can see the light and I’m quite happy most days bbut not quite what I hoped for with the happy family side of life. Single parenting basically is not what I really wanted

[quote Sunnydays999]@Dogmum81 that sounds like depression or dissociation?[/quote]
Why so? Not everyone has huge surges of emotion. I don't. Makes for a more peaceful life and is quite compatible with living to the full...

Yes I definitely don’t get stressed! What will be will be I suppose 👍

@Dogmum81

Yes I definitely don’t get stressed! What will be will be I suppose 👍

Please tell me your secret, I long to be like this. My whole life I've fretted and worried and over thought everything. And its never made a difference. But I cant stop, its like asking a fish not to swim...

Much worse ☹️

Better kids
Better friends
Better house
Worse job
Worse dh
Worse wider family
But all I ever wanted was kids, so I am happy.

Much better, when I was a teenager I really couldn't see a way forward for me, and my 20's were very chaotic and unsettled. But I have a lovely family and a settled home now which is much more than I ever thought I would have

Good question!! So much better, but it’s been really hard work to get there!

But I never get upset at a funeral or overjoyed at my own wedding or in fact I’ve never been emotional at any major life changing events! I wish I could be more like you and have good/bad days! I just have normal days even if they should be emotional

So much better. Thought I’d be dead before 30 after growing up I’m care and surviving childhood abuse and sexual assault. Now I have a great family, house, career and more money than I ever thought I’d have. Always feel like I’m going to lose it at any moment because I’m just not used to nice things happening to me

Better. It's basically what I dreamed of, but I've been happier than I thought possible. My husband is wonderful and we want for nothing. I have 2 wonderful children who were easy to have and I genuinely adore being a parent. Even during this lockdown I'm pretty happy because my life is good.

I really didn't expect much but even so, definitely worse. I settled for far less than I deserved.

Worse for sure. I had lofty ideas about how it would turn out though. Head in the cloud ambitions somewhat I didn't have the happiest childhood and dreaming of my brilliant, successful future was my escapism.

I haven't given up yet though!

Worse. Sadly.

Significant bereavement in early adulthood
Marriage difficulties
Career in tatters, although I do now enjoy my lowly paid job.
Parenting much harder than I thought.
Mental health problems

Despite the above I’m not actually unhappy and am optimistic about the future

Worse. I fantasised about a marrying a lovely man, living in a nice big house, having beautiful children and having enough money not to worry about things. I got the beautiful children and not much else.

Worse. Apart from my now adult children, who've somehow turned out well, everything else has been an utter failure.

Much, much better. Anything better than my DM's life would have been good, and I have been incredibly fortunate. She died before I felt properly grown up, and I wish she could see how things have turned out.

I count my blessings regularly.

Started off ok, but disastrous family dynamics which I then repeated by making a truly terrible marriage and trying to make the best of it instead of LTB. Also made some very poor career decisions from age 17 onwards. So worse, up to now.

But I've learned the hard way. The next 25 years will be awesome.

Better in so far as I grew up in poverty in a single parent household, and now I'm very happily married with 3 amazing children and financially comfortable. But it was a bloody hard trek to get there and I would say 2006-2019 were very hard on us financially and with our work life.

Very happy now, but serious hard work is what got us here.

I’m so sorry @SausageCrush

You’re in the utter depths of grief at the moment. You will get better at living with the grief.

I am an optimist so hate to say this but if 18 yr old me could see me now I'd be a bit impressed but also very disappointed.

Downside
Divorced from a faithless plank of a husband and now on my own - it's lonely and I never thought I'd be alone
Despite achieving accolades in my career whilst bringing up my kids entirely on my own, I don't think I reached my full potential
One of my DC has cut me off since September and it hurts like mad

Upside
Two beautiful DC at uni
Recognised in my field and done work I totally believed in
Lots of lovely friends and amazing experiences