Has life turned out better or worse Than you expected?

[Sunnydays999]

For me it’s better ( not including lockdown)
Had a awful childhood and difficult teens as I dealt with the hand I was given . Now I look back and think things are so much better than I thought they ever would be .Not a millionaire or anything, but
Healthy no major issues
Healthy kids
Job I like
Good husband
Like my home
Nothing out the ordinary but the sort of things I thought would be out of reach to me
Life is definitely better than I thought it would be . But that’s maybe because I had a horrendous childhood- but anyway what about you

In short...worse in many ways, but there's still a lot of good there and my expectations may have been a trifle unrealistic.

I thought I'd have a normal life- work etc. I was academic and got a good degree.

Turns out I have bipolar and stuff and have never really been able to work.

Hey ho. I enjoy my life, but definitely not what I expected.

Definitely worse. But I'm still happy to be here.

I think I have always expected I would have a good life. I had a very happy childhood with parents who supported me and they had a happy marriage. I always expected I would get married (which I have) and have children (which I have). I think my high expectations has made me quite driven and quite focused on trying to make my life as I want it. I have found motherhood very tiring and demanding and I think my husband is a better parent than me! My career has always been a challenge as I am very ambitious and quite impatient to work my way up the ranks. However, the last 5 years have seen me accelerate and I am now in a senior role which I love. My problem is I am never satisfied and this can be quite tiring and means I am never truly content. I don't want for more money but I am always wondering "what next?". However, I always wanted to live overseas which I have done many times (including now) and have happily found a husband who has the same sense of wanderlust as me. So overall happy but I kind always expected to be.

I hope this doesn't sound smug! And I should be clear this lockdown has really made me quite UNHAPPY in my life but thankfully it is temporary.

Far better. I came from a poor and abusive childhood where any sign of aspiration to do well were sneered at, positively discouraged or in some cases, sabotaged.

I was kicked out at 15 - an attempt to derail my education / spirit but I shacked up with, what turned out to be another abusive person, a boyfriend for 8 years who was...for want of a better explanation, truly awful. Went on to marry a similar character (see a pattern here?) But finally aged 30 I decided enough was enough.

I cut off the toxic family, kicked out the massive bellend of a ExH and finally found inner peace, single, with my dog.

Since this time, my life has been fabulous. My career has taken off, I have a job I love, I've met a wonderful man and we have our fab DD and have been fortunate to move to a lovely part of the country. Our health is good and we are all happy, that's what really matters.

Remove the negative influences, enjoy the small stuff and above all, believe in yourself.

I’ve always been ambitious and driven so I was determined to succeed despite my difficult childhood. Things started going in right when I went to live with my grandparents at 14. I then went to university, graduated, met my husband , worked abroad and made enough to buy our house outright and pursue my medical career in the uk. All in all it’s worked out as well as I hoped for. But that’s only come by hard work and disciplined commitment. No problem with kids but I did have a cleaner and a nanny. I guess If I have been lucky then that was to marry the right man. As my grandad taught me : energy, enthusiasm and commitment.

Better in some ways, worse in others. Same as expected in some ways, different in others.

Very lucky in a lot of respects - married to an amazing and supportive guy, gorgeous kid, good job/career, nice house, financially stable, great in-laws, both parents and PIL alive and involved with DD, good friends.

But... got married/had kids later than I'd expected so she's going to be an only child, my health isn't as good as I'd like (albeit not awful either), recently lost a close friend suddenly, my closest friends live a way away now and I miss them, have struggled with stress/depression off and on most of my adult life, and I'm finding raising my desperately wanted and much loved 2 yr old in a pandemic much harder than I'd care to admit.

On balance I don't suppose I'd change things really, except maybe having DD a few years earlier if I had my time again, although then I guess she wouldn't be her, so maybe I wouldn't change things after all.

Erm I’m not really sure

I have 3 beautiful kids, a house nearly paid for completely and so financially stable.
Divorced but with lovely DP.
Love my job for the best part.
But middle dc has had complicated health so that hasn’t been great but she is amazing.

@SausageCrush

How absolutely devastating for you. I have no experience of anything remotely similar but I can only imagine (in fact I am not sure I even dare imagine) the sheer grief and heartache you must feel on a daily, hourly, basis.

Sort of worse. I think child & teen me would be pretty horrified.

But I'm happy and the bad times have let me see that the good times are to be celebrated and not taken for granted.

Plus when bad times came we were lucky to not have too far to fall, and small gains seem pretty big to us!

Worse. Not terrible but nothing amazing and could definitely be better.

@Pyewhacket

I love your grandad's saying! I might adopt that as my own mantra. I also aspire to those 3 things and I think it makes a big different.

Worse. And I generally think I am an optimistic person. But there have been some truly devastating disappointments and losses in my life. I honestly don't think I'll ever recover from them.

I don't want to moan, as I know how lucky I am in many ways. But this life is not at all what I had hoped for.

Better than expected. I went through my twenties and although I had a great time, nights out, girls holidays etc I didn’t have one relationship. I pretty much thought that I was going to be left on the shelf and I watched as slowly everyone else settled down one by one. But I’m now late 30s, married with 2 kids and can’t believe my luck. So very lucky to have the little family I always dreamt of.

I hoped to have had my own house by the time I was 30, not gonna happen now! My credit rating is shot to bits, will be years before it can be mended, I left my ex with £15000, we was saving for a house, she was financially controlling, we split up and i blew £12000 on a once in a lifetime holiday!

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, if i had it, i wouldnt of spent the money, because when i met my now wife, we would of had between us enough for a house deposite, now we are stuck renting, and cant save any money at all, we get paid on the 26th and have no money by the 15th!

Not where i imagined my life near 30

Worse. Can't wait until they are nailing the lid on my coffin tbh

Better ! Day to day I don’t always feel happy because being a parent, working, covid etc. But I have moments where I feel completely content and overall life has gone the way I hoped and better than I expected. Have moved into a home I never thought I’d be able to have, enjoyed my education and it got me a decent job, have a husband who I love (most of the time) and a DS who is everything I never knew I wanted. @LilMidge01 I’d probably be one of those parents you describe. I probably look miserable some days because it’s hard navigating even a shopping trip with a toddler and I do feel stressed, more so as I am someone who doesn’t cope well with stress. But the fact that people don’t regret it tells you everything you need to know about parenting. My son gives me so much joy and he really has made my life better. And even though it’s hard and I may look miserable sometimes, I’d like another DC too! Of course not everyone wants children, I just mean re your thoughts on being unsure because parents seem miserable.

@IndigoJewel

Worse. Can't wait until they are nailing the lid on my coffin tbh

Sending you hugs xxx

Worse for sure

Better.

But that's not difficult to achieve. I had a traumatic childhood.

Chronic health problem turned my life to shit extremely early. Met DP late in life and he made it a million times better. So I hate to moan but the health issue still annoys the fuck out of me.

So did my life turn out better than I thought it would as a child? No. Did it turn out better than I thought it would in my twenties? God yes!

Definitely worse. I didn’t envisage being a disabled single parent and pretty much unemployable by the age of 40. Also didn’t imagine I’d have lost both my parents. When I think of another 40 odd years of being in the amount of pain I’m in every day, the future looks pretty bleak sometimes if I’m honest. However, I have a wonderful son, a nice home and good friends, so I’m luckier than some I guess.

I'm glad to hear that @Sunnydays999

Nice to hear something positive just now

And to posters saying the opposite

I’d probably say worse. Things aren’t awful and I have lots to be thankful for but I thought that I would have a certain type of life at this point, and I don’t.

Worse