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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I offered my toddler a drink

468 replies

bridgetjones1 · 18/02/2021 15:47

And a full on tantrum ensued. Crying, throwing herself on the floor and generally distraught that I'd had the temerity to offer something so shocking!!

YABU - I am a terrible mother
YANBU - Toddlers are crazzzzzy

Obviously this is very light hearted. Hoping and praying that this is a short term phase and that her twin sister doesn't decide to follow suit Confused

Anyone want to offer a hand hold or offer advice, equally baffling reasons for meltdowns would be appreciated

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 19/02/2021 18:28

[quote Ohalrightthen]@Esspee securely attached children feel confident in expressing their emotions in the "safe space" of their parents' presence. Insecurely attached children, or those that don't feel safe with their parents, tend to be much more controlled at a much younger age, for fear of reprisals. The emotional repression has serious repercussions as they get older.[/quote]
Yep Sad.

I loved that my kids had their moments of cheek as I knew they weren't living in fear as I did.

I don't handle it well when dd is unkindly rude though.

Littlepurpledragon · 19/02/2021 18:39

Funny this thread came up today as I read this morning that toddlers brains only use 10% logical part and 90% emotional. If they want something one minute then dont the next , they have no idea why they dont want it , they just dont because they aren't logical!! But to throw it out there we all feel it's because of us mums but science say's they're too under developed to cope with logic.

Aria999 · 19/02/2021 18:48

@SaucyHorse

I think toddlers find it hard to come to terms with the fact that their parents aren't all-knowing and all-powerful. They expect you to be able to both read their minds and perform miracles such as changing the weather, fixing a broken banana, conjuring a biscuit out of thin air.

It's actually quite touching how much misplaced faith they have in us.

Remembering the words for them to a song they learned at nursery that you DO NOT KNOW and never have done...

Localocal · 19/02/2021 18:49

Oh, we've all been there... My sympathies.

GuidoTheKillerPimp · 19/02/2021 19:08

I had two boys (long time ago) neither of them threw tantrums.

I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast

There’s always one...🙄

Theimpossiblegirl · 19/02/2021 19:12

The few toddler tantrums DD had were epic! Screaming for 3 hours because DH hadn't made her cheese string into a beard properly (she meant moustache but he didn't know) and the day the childminder rang me at work because DD had cried like it was the end of the world for hours with no sign of letting up because there were no custard creams were the biggies that we still laugh about now. You will laugh too one day.

andyindurham · 19/02/2021 19:21

DD had a good one today. Came home, went to hug mummy. DD gets all cross because I didn't wash my hands first and starts telling me off. This escalates into 'if you do that again you'll have to come with me to nursery and they'll make you do it'.

So, naturally, I said 'great! I'd love to come to nursery with you on Monday. Looks like a lot of fun'. Pause. Thinking very carefully about the pros and cons. Then a long wail of 'nooooooo!' Turns out, daddies aren't allowed to go to nursery, the nursery ladies won't let them. So we had a 'teachable moment' about calling people's bluffs, which I imagine I'll live to regret.

Inastatus · 19/02/2021 19:23

These are brilliant 😅 I witnessed one today in the supermarket where a little girl was incandescent with rage because her mum wouldn’t let her have her umbrella up in the middle of the supermarket.

@rainbowlou - your DS’s logic sounds v similar to mine who always insisted his birthday was in Yesvember not November 😅

shergar · 19/02/2021 19:26

My 2-year-old had a meltdown in Pizza Express after he’d listened very carefully to the table behind us ordering drinks, and when the waitress asked what drinks we wanted he carefully parroted that he’d like “a white wine spitzer, peas!”. Got water in his sippy cup as usual and was devastated. Waitress was doubled over.

Anyonebut · 19/02/2021 19:33

Dd used to absolutely hate any drop of liquid on her clothes and would tantrum and cry at the tiniest drop.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t about her skin feeling wet through the clothes, it included drops of rain falling on her waterproof raincoat. That was nota fun winter...

Thejoyfulstar · 19/02/2021 19:37

@Ohalrightthen bingo! I was just going to comment that my mother said I never had tantrums. She always raises an eyebrow when my children do and comments how they have 'no fear of me'. I was always quite afraid of my mum and have never felt able to turn to her for anything. She sees it as an accolade to her 'no-nonsense' parenting, but I was never allowed to have my own emotions and struggled emotionally for years with this, right up until pretty recently! (I'm approaching 40!)

hansgrueber · 19/02/2021 19:39

@Esspee

I have clearly struck a raw nerve. Have a nice day vipers. 😁
Just as long as you're not struggling under the assumption that anyone actually believes you!
user1478112490 · 19/02/2021 19:45

My daughter had a hernia which was caused by her temper tantrums and had to have surgery when she was three-she was the spawn of the devil!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 19/02/2021 19:47

DS (now 21yo )

Had the absolute rage because his pyjamas hurt him ( they didn't , he just wanted to stay up and pyjamas meant "time for sleep" )

Said "I'm done cuddling you now Mummy" and I was dismissed Shock

Used to insist I hold his ear when I walked him home from school ( 5yo) like some Just William stylee naughty schoolboy .

He has grown up quite decent after all that though !

Lovely13 · 19/02/2021 19:51

Years ago, eldest aged about two was having screaming fit around midnight in my room. Hot summer night so windows open. His refusal to go to bed grew ever louder. Doorbell rang. I leant out of window. It was a rather strange elderly lady saying, I heard your baby screaming, would you like me to come in and comfort him? I said no thanks. Child immediately went to his bed with no more tears! Should have got her phone number!

SuperMorg · 19/02/2021 19:56

My 9 month old boy, if he's tired or a bit emotional, will cry if I laugh. Even if I'm not laughing at him! How dare you mummy! So I have to bite my lip. Of course daddy can laugh 😂 I dread to think of the toddler tantrums to come!

ArDali1 · 19/02/2021 20:01

I have many, and I can't help but laugh sometimes, but my favourite one , my husband told DD that " Bowser is a bad guy" (Nintendo Mario game character) DD screamed 'No he is not!' and then slapped him across the face.
Of course there was a word about the slapping, but it was hilarious 🤣

Pinkandwhiteblossom · 19/02/2021 20:01

@Esspee

I had two boys (long time ago) neither of them threw tantrums. I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast. Why does it seem to be so prevalent nowadays?
There's always one. WELL DONE YOU Esspee.

I feel so sorry for your friend who had the tantrummer.

I have two girls - one never tantrummed. The other made up for it. In spades.

Emmelina · 19/02/2021 20:05

There was a series of funny photos doing the rounds a few years ago, a child throwing an epic wobbly and a parent explaining what happened. “He wanted the red cup, I gave him the red cup” “I wouldn’t let her take the squirrel home from the park” etc. Grin

YanTanTethera123 · 19/02/2021 20:07

.... So I wasn’t trying to upset anybody. I was simply wondering why a behaviour which was rare a generation ago seems to be accepted as normal nowadays

It certainly wasn’t rare a generation ago 😳
I managed a playgroup and believe me, tantrums were far from rare!
I remember DD having an epic meltdown in M&S because I said she couldn’t pull all the sweaters off their hangers. A couple of elderly ladies tut tutted so I suggested perhaps they’d like to take her home.... she was the master of tantrums in embarrassing places like the middle of a zebra crossing, on a down escalator and in the middle of a huge puddle
in the park.
I don’t recall DS tantrumming, he’d just shriek at the top of his voice ☹️
It’s amazing that I survived, let alone my two DCs!

TheSparkleJar · 19/02/2021 20:17

I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast.

I used to know a similar paragon pf parenting virtue. Unfortunately for her she didn't hang up the phone properly one day after we'd spoken and I heard not only her son's tantrum, but hers too...

Bookwords · 19/02/2021 20:22

This are bloody brilliant!

Bookwords · 19/02/2021 20:22

*these

Coffeecreativity · 19/02/2021 20:27

@Esspee

I had two boys (long time ago) neither of them threw tantrums. I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast. Why does it seem to be so prevalent nowadays?
Seriously?
Poppins2016 · 19/02/2021 20:30

@TheSparkleJar

I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast.

I used to know a similar paragon pf parenting virtue. Unfortunately for her she didn't hang up the phone properly one day after we'd spoken and I heard not only her son's tantrum, but hers too...

@TheSparkleJar Did you ever let on that you'd heard?!
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