I offered my toddler a drink

[bridgetjones1]

And a full on tantrum ensued. Crying, throwing herself on the floor and generally distraught that I'd had the temerity to offer something so shocking!!

YABU - I am a terrible mother
YANBU - Toddlers are crazzzzzy

Obviously this is very light hearted. Hoping and praying that this is a short term phase and that her twin sister doesn't decide to follow suit

Anyone want to offer a hand hold or offer advice, equally baffling reasons for meltdowns would be appreciated

Mine had a shit fit because I made him get in the car.

Then because I made him get out of the car.

Then because I took his coat off.

Then because he wanted a cuddle but didn’t want a cuddle.

Love toddlers

@KitKat1985

I once cut DD's sandwiches into squares rather than triangles. Paid heavily for that one.

@Esspee ODFOD.

This.

My DS used to rip is sleepsuit then nappy off , throw them out of his cot, then start screaming. We figured out he thought throwing them out would mean he would then be out the cot too and was apoplectic his plan failed

My MIL once offered my then 18 month old DD2 an ice cream, cue a total meltdown involving throwing herself onto the ground at the stately home we were visiting, narrowly missing the road with her head.
A lovely elderly couple walked past and asked how old she was as we all watched her rolling around screaming.
When I replied "18 months", they nodded sagely and said the woman said "very advanced" and then they walked on calmly. MIL and I got the giggles. Let DD1 finish her ice cream and we all waited for DD2 to stop rolling around and screaming.

We never did find out what was so objectionable about being offered an ice cream.

The most ridiculous tantrum from my now 19 year old was when they were about 18 months. They had a dose of gastric flu and had thrown up. The tantrum was because I wouldn't let them clean it up. Instead I gave them a big hug and cleaned it up myself

@Esspee

CuntyMcBollocks At no point did I say, or suggest, that I considered myself superior. I simply asked why, when in my day, tantrums were not the norm that they seem to be the norm these days.

Bollocks did you not suggest you were superior...

You even phoned your son to make sure he was also superior in parenting.

@Esspee

CuntyMcBollocks At no point did I say, or suggest, that I considered myself superior. I simply asked why, when in my day, tantrums were not the norm that they seem to be the norm these days.

I suspect it's more that your judgemental, snide nature has always been very obvious to those around you, and so they don't share much with you, knowing that your response will be to look down on them and make unhelpful comments.

I suspect back in Esspee's day, people talked to fewer other people and so tantrums were not discussed as they are here in big threads about them.

People didn't travel so far, didn't take kids to as many places as they now do (I can remember shops, pubs, restaurants with signs on the door 'NO CHILDREN', you never see that now).

So yes, in a more insular, limited world you would see fewer children having tantrums.

Plus parents were much freer with their hands, and children were more likely to get battered/dragged out of a situation by the wrist if they played up, rather than a calm, non-violent parent containing the behaviour until it played out, as is normal now. If one of us had had a tantrum in a supermarket my mother would have hit us until it stopped.

I know which I prefer.

I'm sure I have read tantrums are to do with the child becoming their own person. I think it's something they do to become psychologically normal. I'm slightly worried about the (troll)'s child.

Will they do something awful once they hit age 50? Possibly a full kicky meltdown in a supermarket aisle.

'But mummy, Waitrose says the tiramisu is ESSENTIAL! '

Lordy, the times I had to abandon shopping when mine was little. One memorable day the supermarket had this enormous 3 foot long packet of chocolate fingers. Me and DS spotted it at same time. I just put my basket to the side with a weary sigh and legged it out of there.

In the 70s, my naughty little sister screamed every day Monday to Friday for a year after mum dropped (3 1/5 year old) me at nursery.

She did not know why (age 1 and 1/5) she could not stay and play with all the lovely toys (I don't think they took children that young back then otherwise mother might have paid to avoid the screaming)

So cruel.

My sister grew up to be fine though. So sensible that they let her work in a school these days (dealing with other people's tantrums).

I always laugh at the actual My Little Sister story where she bites Father Christmas. If you think times have changed - nope.

Mine had an epic tantrum when he asked if his forehead would become his fivehead on his birthday and I said no

Did you give it to her in the wrong coloured cup too? You monster!

I have 3ds. Ds1 saved his tantrums til he was 4 and then 14! Ds2 started them at 2 - absolutely spectacular they were. He is emotional as a 12 year old but no tantrums yet. Ds3 just stroppy. From my experience tantrums are more to do with personality than parenting!

Just remember 2 of my own tantrums -

spilling whole pack of rainbow drops at Chester Zoo and I just went into meltdown that they had gone on the floor.

Not being allowed to take a skipping rope (which I dragged on the floor with an imaginary dog tied to the end of it) on a shopping trip up the street. Mum thought (probably quite rightly) that it would get dog poo on it and she'd have to clean it off.

Have read and enjoyed the toddler tantrums but I really need @Wedlock to tell me more about bitch plopping. I'm laughing more about that as a concept, than the tantrums.

I must have been lucky years ago, to have two kids,who never had a tantrum ha ha. This reminds me of a situation many years ago when I went into a small Boots chemist with my two year old son, who was in reins.We came across a woman and her probably three year old son,who was running amok down the aisles, and getting things off the shelves.

After running after him,and telling him to stand still, he threw himself on the floor, kicking legs in the air, and emitting some earsplitting screams ,and trying to kick his Mum also, the woman then lost her cool, and she just got down on the floor in the same position as her son, and kicked her legs in the air,with a few short screams to go with this. The son immediately stopped all action, got up, and said, Mummy,are you poorly, and gave her a hug, and held her hand. !

Oh you think you have it bad now! Wait till they get to thirteen 🙀

"Here's your drink, I'll put it on the side/table/drawers if you want it. I'll be in the lounge/kitchen/bedroom if you want a cuddle."

Then wait for her to come to you.
That said, listen for the cry, if it changes from angry to upset, you go to her. Some toddlers don't know how to bring themselves out of a tantrum and need the hug to do it.

Esspee doesn't have any children

I peeled a banana the wrong way once!

You are lucky to know the reason . My darling son would go completely mad and refused to even indicate why. He also did the brocken cracker thing. Food touching thing and so many others. But the worst was when I had no idea why he was screaming the house down

One son, two tantrums. “You touch & we go home”. Touched & threw a massive wobbler when we started to go home. “You were told this would happen.” Second tantrum he threw something from the trolley on a supermarket floor . I threw his favourite food on the floor & had my own (bigger than his) tantrum, followed by “I’m not buying your favourite food & now we go home “. None since 🤷‍♀️

God forbid you give her the wrong colour cup 🤣🤣🤣

YAB HUGELY U obviously I once glued a banana back together with icing, so I get you!

@Esspee what made me sad about your original comment was the bit

“I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast.”

I would put money on that mother going home and sobbing her eyes out after your faux horror. Who knows why her child tantrummed and yours didn’t? It certainly wasn’t any of your business then and isn’t now and yet many years later you’re still ruminating on it. It’s none of my business either so I’ll leave it at that but don’t assume that any child’s tantrum isn’t a valid form of communication and should be frowned upon. They’re tough to deal with but no different to an adult mouthing off once in a while.

Also, I’m 39 and I tantrummed like a bitch through the 80s and I’m proud 💪