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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I offered my toddler a drink

468 replies

bridgetjones1 · 18/02/2021 15:47

And a full on tantrum ensued. Crying, throwing herself on the floor and generally distraught that I'd had the temerity to offer something so shocking!!

YABU - I am a terrible mother
YANBU - Toddlers are crazzzzzy

Obviously this is very light hearted. Hoping and praying that this is a short term phase and that her twin sister doesn't decide to follow suit Confused

Anyone want to offer a hand hold or offer advice, equally baffling reasons for meltdowns would be appreciated

OP posts:
Cam2020 · 18/02/2021 16:23

I had two boys (long time ago) neither of them threw tantrums.
I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast.
Why does it seem to be so prevalent nowadays?

Perhaps children didn't have much personality back then, or maybe they were just too dull to feel the conflict between wanting autonomy but needing help?

OverSha · 18/02/2021 16:24

My DS was once completely inconsolable because it was not Red Nose Day.

(He was 9 at the time) Hmm

SilverBirchWithout · 18/02/2021 16:24

@Esspee

I had two boys (long time ago) neither of them threw tantrums. I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast. Why does it seem to be so prevalent nowadays?
This is the mumsnet comment of the day 🙄
RubyandPearl · 18/02/2021 16:24

@Esspee what a thoroughly marvellous mother you must have been I hope you congratulate yourself hourly

Meanwhile back in the real world my daughter used to have what I call 'windmill strops' where she would throw herself onto the floor and propel herself in a circle with her legs. They were most spectacular and best executed in the middle of a supermarket aisle...

Thelongdarkteatime · 18/02/2021 16:25

My ds (now 7) had the biggest tantrum of his life aged 2 on a day out at an outdoor attraction. Rolling on the floor, screaming and crying and not able to articulate what was wrong. Until a concerned passer by asked him what the matter was, and he tearfully told her he was ‘upset cos he wasn’t a cat’

GrumpyHoonMain · 18/02/2021 16:26

@bridgetjones1

And a full on tantrum ensued. Crying, throwing herself on the floor and generally distraught that I'd had the temerity to offer something so shocking!!

YABU - I am a terrible mother
YANBU - Toddlers are crazzzzzy

Obviously this is very light hearted. Hoping and praying that this is a short term phase and that her twin sister doesn't decide to follow suit Confused

Anyone want to offer a hand hold or offer advice, equally baffling reasons for meltdowns would be appreciated

DS (14 months) has full on tantrum if I give things to him without saying ‘stop it!’ Or ‘don’t do that’ first. He loves being told off.
Hardbackwriter · 18/02/2021 16:27

This morning my toddler screamed at me because I gave him an apple but not the apple he wanted, apparently and then his three day old brother screamed the place down because I insisted on changing his nappy. I too am a dreadful, cruel mother, it seems.

Sexnotgender · 18/02/2021 16:27

My toddler currently has 3 pairs of socks on at his insistence. Won’t take them off.

ilovesooty · 18/02/2021 16:27

@Thelongdarkteatime

My ds (now 7) had the biggest tantrum of his life aged 2 on a day out at an outdoor attraction. Rolling on the floor, screaming and crying and not able to articulate what was wrong. Until a concerned passer by asked him what the matter was, and he tearfully told her he was ‘upset cos he wasn’t a cat’
That's hilarious.
IHaveBrilloHair · 18/02/2021 16:27

My toddler once got very upset on the bus as she'd forgotten to bring her favourite toy with her, Finger kitten.
Finger Kitten was her little finger on her left hand Confused

BendingSpoons · 18/02/2021 16:27

At the end of the meal, DS can sit in his high chair for 30mins not eating anything (he will have had a good meal). If you try to take the bowl away he is distraught. He doesn't want it but he can't let it go.

My DD is 4. She doesn't love me anymore. She was refusing to tidy up then asked me, 'who is the best at tidying?' and I truthfully said 'daddy'.

Dozycuntlaters · 18/02/2021 16:28

My DS (18 now) used to throw some corkers. Hated anything breaking, be it a bar of chocolate or a pencil, cue a massive tantrum. I remember once he had one of those smarty pop up lollies and the end fell off. He went bonkers for ages so I snatched it away from him and chucked it in a lake. He tired himself out so much he fell asleep in the buggy for a couple of hours. I was so relieved, thought sweet this is the end of it. But oh no, when he woke up he started crying saying I want my lolly. Fml it was hard work. Still, he's 18 now and the most chilled kid ever.

OverSha · 18/02/2021 16:29

Before anyone Escapee points out that I must be completely crap if my 9 year old tantrums (although he is now alot older and still tantrums over weird shit) I will point out that he has learning disabilities.

Although to be fair I am rather crap quite alot of the time. Grin

Original poster
bridgetjones1 · 18/02/2021 16:29

@Thelongdarkteatime

My ds (now 7) had the biggest tantrum of his life aged 2 on a day out at an outdoor attraction. Rolling on the floor, screaming and crying and not able to articulate what was wrong. Until a concerned passer by asked him what the matter was, and he tearfully told her he was ‘upset cos he wasn’t a cat’
That is brilliantly bonkers 😂😂😂
OP posts:
Cyberattack · 18/02/2021 16:29

My ds (now 7) had the biggest tantrum of his life aged 2 on a day out at an outdoor attraction. Rolling on the floor, screaming and crying and not able to articulate what was wrong. Until a concerned passer by asked him what the matter was, and he tearfully told her he was ‘upset cos he wasn’t a cat’

This is the best ever!!

SilverBirchWithout · 18/02/2021 16:30

@Esspee

I had two boys (long time ago) neither of them threw tantrums. I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast. Why does it seem to be so prevalent nowadays?
My little one many years ago had a full-blown screaming tantrum in a post office because the Thomas the Tank engine on one page of his book was not quite the right shade of blue. For many months we had to avoid that page when reading the book.

I suspect I was a time-travelling parent from the future according to ‘selective-memory Espee‘

ChristOnAPeloton · 18/02/2021 16:31

I remember those days. DD3 was (and still is) the worst, but the most ridiculous I remember is her bringing me a top and asking for me to put it on her.... then crashing to the floor wailing and kicking when I attempted to do exactly that.

IEat · 18/02/2021 16:32

Mine had a full on melt at 5 because it was November 30th and she missed November

Greenandcabbagelooking · 18/02/2021 16:32

How very dare you offer such a thing as a drink to your poor child?!

My three year old nephew had a strop his mummy was holding the new baby. My SIL gave the baby to me and picked up nephew to cuddle. Nope, still not ok. I gave the baby to my mum, which wasn't ok either. Once nephew had calmed down, he said no one was allowed to hold the baby (aged 3 weeks) and she had to lie on the floor "by her own self".

Toddlers are amusing and highly irrational in equal measure.

Plutoh · 18/02/2021 16:33

I dared to not let DS run into the road earlier, obviously he was irridescent with rage and full on tantrum ensured, bad mum!

sleepyhead · 18/02/2021 16:34

When ds2 (who had the most spectacular tantrums over very little) was small, I had lunch before lockdown with my mum and a group of her friends (most of whom are the mothers of my friends).

I was telling the story of ds2's latest afront to his toddler dignity which had led to a strop, well that opened the floodgates... hilarious tales of my tantrums and the tantrums of all my friends and their siblings.

So unless you're over the age of 80, Esspee, nah - toddlers have always been that way.

(My gran had tales of my eldest uncle that would curl your hair and we're going back to the 40s now)

Ohandanotherthing · 18/02/2021 16:34

I asked mine if he had had breakfast yet - he had started to play his playstation with a friend.

Head in hands for a long time and then asked sadly, why did you ask me such an irrelevant question?

He's 12, normally the most positive person I know but extremely frustrated and fed up with the half-term lockdown.

MindyStClaire · 18/02/2021 16:34

Here it's usually because DH is eating his breakfast - she wants the piece of cereal he just ate. Even though she knows if she just asks nicely she'll give him one from the bowl. The worst day was when he hadn't even eaten a bit of cereal, just a spoonful of milk.

bjjgirl · 18/02/2021 16:35

Just when you finally get safely past toddler stage they begin with the teenage strops! Dd 12 refused to take her coat off all day because I would only "go mental when she left it on the floor and tell her to put it away"
Confused

Same4Walls · 18/02/2021 16:35

Ds is only 14 months so I know I have many to look forward to but right now he tantrums if he doesn't have a piece of food in each hand when eating. Sometimes I actually sit there silently wishing he was a crap eater who just played with his food instead of one who shovelled it in at warp speed resulting in tears ever time he has a mouthful.

Also OP you are a terrible parent for being so completely unreasonable and I've called ss on your daughters behalf. Hopefully they interve before you start being equally as cruel to her sister. Grin