To think 28 isn't too young to have a baby?

[Sprockerdilerock]

I'm pregnant with my first child and about to turn 28. DH is 31. Since we started telling our friends and family, a few have commented that they are surprised as we are so young.

I've googled and seen that the average age to be a first time mum has now gone past 30.

Am I going to be the youngest at all baby groups and struggle to make friends?! I thought we were fairly average.

That's a good point about wealth, we definitely struggled compared to NCT group. We sort of grew up with our eldest in particular. We did first stages of everything, we bought our first flat when he was a newborn, my husband was still working on his part III for architecture but it was actually quite thrilling being challenged in this way. When our second came along we were proper grown ups and our standard of living was higher. They were actually some of the best years of my life as I relished the unpredictability! I would say embrace it and don't care what others think.

@PuffItsGone

Also yes it’s absolutely dependent on where you live and education level. Typically those with qualifications beyond a bachelors degree and living in expensive areas will have children later as it will take longer to get to the ‘right time’ for them whether that be career status or home ownership

This isn't necessarily true.

I was 23 when I had my first and was the youngest mum at everything by about a decade. My school and uni friends had their children about age 27-33. Oddly once my dds started school I wasn’t a young mum on the playground, it was a real mix of all ages.

Don't forget, the national average age to have a first child is also going up due to the decrease in teen mums thanks to the implant and the fabulous work being done to educate teens in safe sex.

That is a really good point @AngelicInnocent. And probably advances in healthcare and fertility treatment increasing the numbers at the higher end too.

I had my baby at 21 and was full of energy. It was great. He is 40 now and I'm young enough to still be having a great time with him when its not lockdown and I can see him.

I had my DD at 28. Of course it's not too young!!

I gave birth to my 4th at 28. I don't think it's young for a first baby at all.

@Toorapid

Blimey times have changed. A friend of mine was officially a "geriatric mother" when she had her first child at 26.

I was going to say it's not that long ago, but it's probably 40 years

How strange, even as far back as 1938, the average age for a woman having her first baby was 29. Average age did dip slightly in the late 60s for some reason but soon rose again. I'm not sure who would have classed her as a geriatric mother, and certainly not "officially".

Looking around my friendship group most of my friends who went to work straight after uni had their first kid bang on 30, everyone who had to do postgrads so lawyers, medics, architects and academics started trying at 34-35 but thats because they spent most of their 20s studying. We started trying at 34 but didnt have our 1st till 37 now thats old and am kind of sad about that.

I had my first and only dc at 28. Great age imo. I lived in a very naice university city where there were a lot of older mums so I was young in comparison. Certainly the youngest in my Nct group by about 6 years.

I had my first baby at 28 in the 1990s. I thought I was old for a mum, but not so old to be classified as an "elderly primagravida" at the GPs. My friend who had her first at around 36 was "senile"

I was 26 when I had my first. My NCT group were all the same age within 2 years, I wasn't the youngest. My NHS antenatal had a range of about 10 years from youngest to oldest and I was in the middle.

I'm very happy I had my children when I did. I was married and financially secure. I am now getting to the point where I can start doing things for myself again and work on my career, and I'm still young. In ten years time I'll be able to travel (within reason) which is something I didn't do before having children.

In my area most mums have either had their first baby before their 20s (unplanned or a bit naively) or they wait and have a planned baby in their 30s. This would average out to mid 20s even though no one seems to have a baby in their 20s

I had my first at 27 and was the first of most of my friends and the youngest at most of my baby groups.
Just had my 2nd at 30 and it seems everyone I know is pregnant at the same time.

My husbands friendship group (his school friend not uni) have all got quite grown up kids now as they were much younger having them.

I think university and getting a career established takes a good 5 years out of the picture.

I’m happy with the ages I’ve had my kids, we are financially comfortable, I have a stable job to go back to, I’m independent enough to make my own decisions and not take unwanted advice and my kids have fairly young grandparents who are likely to be a big part of their lives.

I was 28 with my first, 8 years ago. Never had any problems making friends at baby groups. I think I may have been the youngest at our NCT group, but it didn't make any difference. You'll be fine! Congratulations!

@threelittlepandas

Looking around my friendship group most of my friends who went to work straight after uni had their first kid bang on 30, everyone who had to do postgrads so lawyers, medics, architects and academics started trying at 34-35 but thats because they spent most of their 20s studying. We started trying at 34 but didnt have our 1st till 37 now thats old and am kind of sad about that.

Yes same. In my circles there was a wealth gap too. So the more you earned the more likely you were to wait until later - I guess because you can afford ivf and as wealthier people do tend to live healthier longer anyway these guys often had excellent role models for parents and grandparents.

I married at 29 and we started ttc when I was 30. I’m the outlier in my group because I was earning 6 figures by this point and so was the youngest who was ttc amongst work friends. But was bang on target amongst personal friends who weren’t earning as much. But by the time we managed to have a baby at 39 I was the oldest mum in both groups by far.

@EggyBread4me

I was 28 with my first, 8 years ago. Never had any problems making friends at baby groups. I think I may have been the youngest at our NCT group, but it didn't make any difference. You'll be fine! Congratulations!

NCT isn’t a great gage of this - it’s expensive so unless young people are gifted classes or membership they don’t tend to go. The best place to gage how average you are in your area is to go to free nhs led sessions. I find, in big cities kike London, the average age to give birth tends to be early to mid twenties driven mostly by people who don’t go to uni.

You'd be young ish where I am . I was 27 when I had DS and I was the youngest one at the school gates.

But where I grew up 28 year olds had 2/3 kids already!!

Ignore everyone else. I'm glad I had DS when I did. Now I'm early 40s and he's a teenager and it's great. No toddlers at my 40th like some of my friends!!

In wealthy areas it is young. For a lot of professional women they won't have got to a secure enough stage in their career at that point to risk mat leave.

No one's at the top of their career at that point so you will have to try to get promotions with a child in tow, when you will likely be discriminated against.

It's not going to be easy.

I had my first at 28 and my 2nd at 31
All my friends had theirs at similar ages. There was a rash of weddings and then of christenings.

All uni educated.

But 20 years ago.

No not too young, when I had DD I'd say the age group I made friends with were 26-36 (I was 30)

😂 no! I think 28 is quite old! I was done having babies by the time I was 24.

Definitely the younger end of normal these days but not too young. Most of my friends had kids in their 30s. I was one of the older ones at 35 but not the oldest.
Meanwhile my mum had me at 31 and in the 1970s that was considered ancient!!! I think a reason for the age being a bit higher these days is that women want to establish careers a bit more before taking time off.

When I had mine back in the dark ages my friend was described as an “elderly primagravida” on her notes. She was 26!

My mum had her first at 28 and on her notes, the midwife wrote ‘elderly primip’-that shows how times have changed!