To think 28 isn't too young to have a baby?

[Sprockerdilerock]

I'm pregnant with my first child and about to turn 28. DH is 31. Since we started telling our friends and family, a few have commented that they are surprised as we are so young.

I've googled and seen that the average age to be a first time mum has now gone past 30.

Am I going to be the youngest at all baby groups and struggle to make friends?! I thought we were fairly average.

Not at all! I'm 30 and thinking of TTC this year, DH is 28. If anything, I've started to worry that people think I'm too old, or wonder why we left it so late (we've been together 11 years, married for nearly 4). We only left it to be more financially stable. 28 is definitely not too young. It is a perfect age!

28 is a bit young in my circle of friends but not by much, I was 30 and was still one if the first in my group.

Depends on your social circle I think.

@Silenceisgolden20

I had mine at 26 and 28, felt like the perfect age. They're teenagers now.

A lot of my friends have younger kids and I'm glad I'm past that stage. Not that teenagers are easy but it's different.
It's only now that I get the odd comment that I must have been young when had them , like really young as some people are surprised o have teenagers but late 20s isn't at all.

I think maybe because it's more 'acceptable' now to have children in your late 30s and 40s that to some people 20s is young. Like you're supposed to follow a life time line or something.

I don’t think it’s because it’s more acceptable to have children in 30s/40s but because many women go to university and then they want to establish themselves in their career first. As a result, especially if there are many years of student loans to pay off before saving, it means having children in mid 30s onwards is practical.

I only have one university friend who had a baby in her 20s and all the others were in their 30s. It’s not helped that we live in the SE so houses are expensive and careers don’t always allow for a large amount of time on maternity leave.

Had my first at 23. A woman on my postnatal group was there with her third (1st from new relationship) and I was only 8 years older than her oldest child. It freaked her out a bit when she found out I was young enough to be her daughter! I was also by far the youngest in my NCT group, it made not one jot of difference.

Out of my friends/people I know, 28 was the ‘first wave’ of babies, usually it was the people who’d had partners from uni, etc and already had a house etc. The rest mainly had children 30-35 and any who had them later than that generally didn’t meet their partner until later or they’d been doing something like travelling/career which is why they’d delayed trying.

I think being the first in your group is a bit of a shock to people and a wake up that they are adults now. When my friends started getting pregnant at that age, I barely knew anyone with children.

When I was pregnant with my first, most mums I met at classes etc were about 27-33 for their first child.

People keep forgetting that, physically, it's best to have your children young. You recover faster, and odds of complications, genetic abnormalities and disabilities are lower with lower maternal age. Obviously, if you go too low they go up again, but we're talking 14/15, not 28. Historically, a 28yr old FTM would be practically geriatric.

I had this moment the other day when I realised that at 50, one of my school mum friends was 15 years older than I am!

We are about equal in terms of career and qualifications, both have post grads and good jobs, nice homes etc so don’t think either of us have been held back by having children at a particular age. The only difference between us is that I run marathons for fun and she rolls her eyes at me and prefers a nice wine which I’m sure I will too in years to come!

@bluetimes I went to University

It's more acceptable to have children in your 40s then it was 10, 20 years ago. Not that it ever wasn't

Sounds like a perfect age to me, ignore other people’s weird reactions! As long as you and your husband are happy and healthy and ready to go, it will be perfect. Enjoy your pregnancy x

Having children is a GREAT equaliser - I had my first at 25 and my 3 best friends from around that time (and still among my closest allies) who I met because we were all pregnant together are 4, 6 and 10 years older than me. Just find your tribe, age is but a number - and congratulations!

Ok jeez I have just turned 29 and have a 14 year old and 8 year old a baby🤣 you defo won’t be the youngest

I guess the only thing for me is that it felt like AGES before my friends pre-kids started having DC of their own. My first DC is a decade older than the next DC to born within my uni and school friendship groups

If average is 30 then half are younger and half are older. You’re only very slightly below average.

Also yes it’s absolutely dependent on where you live and education level. Typically those with qualifications beyond a bachelors degree and living in expensive areas will have children later as it will take longer to get to the ‘right time’ for them whether that be career status or home ownership

I had my first at 22 second at 26 and would say that's about average where I am most of the school mums are around my age perhaps a bit older. I always wanted kids younger while I had more energy and so when I'm in my 40s I am very much free of nappies, school runs etc

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I don't see you as young! For me 27-28 would have been a perfect age to have a baby! Fertility didn't allow me to give birth till I was 30! When ideally I would have liked to have my 2nd and final baby on the way!
Take no notice and enjoy! 😊

I was 27 when I had ds1.
I thought I was old!
28 is fine.

I had first DS at 25 and was oldest on the ward... Youngest at 35 and out of 8 we were all between late 20s and mid 30s.

Id say 28 is a good age personally

I was 27 and I was definitely one of the youngest (but I think that’s normal for London)- I only met a couple other mums the same age.

But it was easy to make friends - not much difference between late 20s and early 30s in terms of mindset or maturity.

Only thing I’d say was tricky/different was our financial comfort levels - I found I couldn’t always keep up as much with the mums in their 30s in terms of expensive baby groups, “#makingmemories” experiences, lunches out, group holidays and spending as I was still early in my career whereas they were more established. But that didn’t matter too much as I just did what I could afford.

How times have changed. My mum got married at 28 and the doctor said she might have left it too late to start a family. She had me at 29 and was treated a bit differently because she was 'elderly' (they had some special medical term for it).
I was 26 and one of the first in our social circle to have a baby but I don't regret it at all.

I wouldn't have had kids in my early 20s (just left uni!) but having made friends with a couple of women who had their babies at 20/22ish they are definitely more able to work on their career now without a big gap - one has got onto a great graduate scheme at 30 and won't have to stop. The other has a husband in a reasonable job (outside london) and parents with money behind them so can afford to wait to start her career.

I do kind of think they have got it right at times!

I had 2 kids by the time I was 24. When I had my 3rd at age 32, I felt about the right age compared to those around me..... Even young! So yes 28 is nice and young. Perfect. Congratulations!!!!

I was 28 when I was pregnant with my first and this was 2006-07. I worked in central London and the people my age were pretty much shocked that I was pregnant as they couldn't understand how that would tie in with career progression. My husband was 25 and is an Architect and had an equally shocked reaction. New clients can't believe he has a teenager as all.of his friends still have children in the baby, infant stage!

How weird I was pregnant with ds at 24 and dh was 27. Nobody ever said we were too young.