To think 28 isn't too young to have a baby?

[Sprockerdilerock]

I'm pregnant with my first child and about to turn 28. DH is 31. Since we started telling our friends and family, a few have commented that they are surprised as we are so young.

I've googled and seen that the average age to be a first time mum has now gone past 30.

Am I going to be the youngest at all baby groups and struggle to make friends?! I thought we were fairly average.

@Sprockerdilerock

Does the class/social circle/area factor mean that the higher class you are the older you are when having your first??

Teenage pregnancies or parents who are too young to support their baby themselves do tend to have a bad reputation associated with lower class but I haven’t seen stats to back up how true it is. Maybe the assumption that higher classes have money and properties, despite it not always being true, plays a part in that.

The only reason I can think of for someone to say to wait is because of the assumption most people want to have bought a property, been married for a while and have savings behind them. Obviously, not everyone is worried about being married, or owning a property or having adequate savings behind them so perhaps you’ve just spoken to some who are more traditional and feel that there is something they would have done before having children and they are projecting their view onto you. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You would be young in my professional circles (high academic titles and/or big jobs). You would be slightly old with my (secondary school) friends.

Not too young at all. I had mine fairly late, I think, (31 and second now due at 32), but didn't meet my partner until my late 20s.
Everyone will have a different time when they feel ready. 😊

Personally think it’s a good age. I had my dd at 21 and felt too young

I think it's true that uni does delay settling down somewhat and graduates are generally focusing on their careers during their 20s but I also think it's partly mindset and that going to uni extends young adulthood. I think the divorce/relationship breakdown rates these days also mean more women want to be financially independent and that means being further along on their careers.

I think it depends on your circle. I had both of mine by the time I was 25, many of one group of my friends were the same. Other groups have only now started their families in their early to mid 30s. 28 definitely isn’t “so young” imo or experience.

I had three and was sterilised by the time I was 28 !

@JKW36

What a wierd reaction! Some people have a 10 year old by then!!

Yeah I was thinking the same! Where my exP comes from, there are plenty of couples I met here through him, their wives had 3 kids by 30! They consider 20's to be a good time, so for me I was over the hill at 37 🤣🤣

Defo not too young. Good age. A lot of people I know had children in their early twenties, they were settled and married. I think after 30 there's more complication and difficult pregnancy. I know people who had children after 30 and have always advised to have before 30 as they've had it so much tougher

I had mine at 26 and 28, felt like the perfect age. They're teenagers now.

A lot of my friends have younger kids and I'm glad I'm past that stage. Not that teenagers are easy but it's different.
It's only now that I get the odd comment that I must have been young when had them , like really young as some people are surprised o have teenagers but late 20s isn't at all.

I think maybe because it's more 'acceptable' now to have children in your late 30s and 40s that to some people 20s is young. Like you're supposed to follow a life time line or something.

It's socioeconomic. But no, not too old, I'd say the ideal, if you are in a stable relationship, is a little younger than that.

It's similar with other elements of settling down. I sold my house recently, kind of a smaller, lightly shabby inner suburb house. Of the "starter" families they were late 20s/early 30s couples who had been to university and were on a professional track and would likely move on in five years. Or couples in their early 20s where the husband was in a trade and wife did something in an office, who might be more likely to stay and raise their kids in that neighbourhood. The latter families were about 10 years ahead of the university grads in terms of home buying/starting families.

I had my children between 27-32. I was the youngest in my NCT group, where everyone was in their 30s. In my social circle from university, I was far and away the youngest! I’m still in the minority having children. However, I work in education and many colleagues had children around my age. It never bothered me having children before my close friends, but it did obviously affect the dynamics and what I could participate in.

Definitely not too young. I had my first at 18 and due my next at nearly 27. I wouldn’t have any more after this because I feel far too old to be starting again and has been a lot harder this time as an older person. However I was quite surprised at my maternity appointments to actually fee one of the youngest in the waiting room, some even looking in their 40’s.

Of course how I feel about being too old at 27 is personal preference and late 20’s/30’s is a pretty normal age to be having babies.

Agree with others who've said it probably depends on your circle and maybe also region. I'm in SE London/Kent border and am 34, pregnant with my first now (due tomorrow in fact...eek) and my close friends have only started having kids in the last couple of years. Having said that, I don't think 28 is too young! Seems like a good age, especially if you're financially and emotionally ready (or as much as you can be!)

Congratulations 🙂

28 is fine. I gave birth to my first at 28. That said I was the first of my group of friends to have a baby, they all waited to between 34 and 37.

Not too young at all I wonder why they think this. I'm 26 with a soon to be 7 year old, 4 year old and 1 year old.

All the best @Darcy86 !!

It would be interesting to know what the stats are for different areas/education levels to see if they do follow the trends mentioned on here.

I will have an 8 year old when I'm 28 so definitely not too young OP 28 is a lovely age young but mature and more financially sorted.

Meant to say, congratulations @Sprockerdilerock! Not too young, don’t compare yourself to others and enjoy the experience.

Definitely totally fine. I was 28 when pregnant with first child. Yes I was a few years younger than the other mums in my NCT group (in a v middle class area) but it has never remotely been an issue. And once your kid goes to school there are parents of all ages, as some kids in their class will be first children, some will have much older siblings etc.

There were a couple of years when our friends didn't have kids and we did, when we felt a bit isolated from them. Then they all started popping out sprogs and came crawling back wanting daytime playdates etc, ahaha. And now we have an easier life with bigger kids while they are knee deep in potty training. So, you know, swings and roundabouts..

They commented on 28 being too young to have a baby... I wonder what they said when announced your engagement as you were obviously younger. 🤦‍♀️

Ignore them. 28 is the perfect age! I was 26 & then 27. Congratulations

@StarsShiningUpAboveYou

They commented on 28 being too young to have a baby... I wonder what they said when announced your engagement as you were obviously younger. 🤦‍♀️

Ignore them. 28 is the perfect age! I was 26 & then 27. Congratulations

Oh and yes I am mostly the younger mother. 31, 5 year old at school and most mums are in their late 30s but I have lots of friends I met through baby groups of my own age & younger.

Blimey how things have changed. When I had DD almost 30 years ago I was told that 26 was "a bit old to have a first baby", by my midwife.

It's not too young at all! Granted, you'll probably find that some of the mum friends you'll make at school will be older, but that's OK. I'm good friends with mums both 5-6 years older and younger than me, and I had my first age 34.

It's too late to worry about it now!
As an aside I fell pregnant at 27 (planned) and often think how glad I am I did it then. I know a lot of women wait until they think everything is in place - married, house, career etc but I always knew that in life you have to just go for what you want because you don't know what the future holds.
In the years since having my baby we've moved, bought a house and moved again, I've retrained and am now on a better salary in a better career.
Im glad I did it while my health was good, my body was in a good place to be pregnant. I don't envy the mums having children into their 40s, I am happy with my only and not to have to be pregnant again!