Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 28 isn't too young to have a baby?

231 replies

Sprockerdilerock · 18/02/2021 14:45

I'm pregnant with my first child and about to turn 28. DH is 31. Since we started telling our friends and family, a few have commented that they are surprised as we are so young.

I've googled and seen that the average age to be a first time mum has now gone past 30.

Am I going to be the youngest at all baby groups and struggle to make friends?! I thought we were fairly average.

OP posts:
LittleGwyneth · 18/02/2021 16:10

I think it depends where you live. You'd be on the younger side in central London, but on the older side in some parts of the UK. Bear in mind the average is a bit misleading because you'll have people having kids at 14 and 45 yanking it each way.

greeneyedlulu · 18/02/2021 16:11

Most of my school class had 12 year olds by 28 and when I had my first at 33, one of them announced she was about to become a grandmother!!

happymummy12345 · 18/02/2021 16:12

I was 22 when I had my baby

Woodandsky · 18/02/2021 16:13

I had mine (planned) in my mid 20s and everyone I met at baby groups and school gates seemed to be either 10 years younger or 10 years older than me!

This was 20 years ago but even then it seemed that people either had unplanned pregnancies in their late teens or planned pregnancies in their 30s, the 20-something new mums didn't seem to exist.

If you're professionally and financially in a good place your 20's are a great age to have kids in my opinion.

m0therofdragons · 18/02/2021 16:14

We were the youngest in our friendship group from school - I was 26 (2 weeks before I turned 27 so should I round that up? Grin sorry, that’s another thread). Now I’m 38 and most of our friends have children ages 3-5 and mine are 12 and 9. My life is vastly different and so much more chilled as we’re at the hanging out together stage and they tidy their own rooms (when asked) and wipe their own butts, shower themselves. I love this stage and I’ve got my career on track too.

Originalusername2021 · 18/02/2021 16:14

I think as long as you’ve worked and been living independently for a good few years you are not ‘too young’ I think it’s more about life experience than age.

Rewis · 18/02/2021 16:14

I don't really see in what circles it can be considered to be too young.

Yes, people are older when having kids. I'm 31 and I don't have any yet. My first got friend had a baby and she is 32. You might be the first one in your friend group and others not feeling ready but "too young"?

noname55 · 18/02/2021 16:15

I think it's about average. I had my first young, trying for a second at 28.

LST · 18/02/2021 16:15

Blimey! I was 21 & 23 when I had mine. Never got a comment about being too young

iPhonie · 18/02/2021 16:17

I’m 27 and due my third shortly Blush

I do feel young to have 3 kids mind, but certainly not your first. Wouldn’t change a thing though!

EmpressSuiko · 18/02/2021 16:18

I had mine at 22 and 24, you definitely won’t be the youngest mum at baby group! Everyone always thought I was in my late teens when I had my DD is it was infuriating as I used to get spoken down to a lot, you’ll most likely feel more comfortable than I did as most of the other mums around me were late 20’s/early 30’s.

bushhbb · 18/02/2021 16:20

@Wellthatwassilly

I had a 8 and 10 year old by the time i was 28

This will be me in several years too

28 is nowhere near young it's completely average

Odile13 · 18/02/2021 16:22

People say the strangest things. You’ll be fine. Most women will be early 20s to 40s. Hardly a huge age range. I’m mid 30s with my first baby. When chatting to other parents I don’t care how old they are.

SummerHouse · 18/02/2021 16:24

Why would this affect making friends in baby groups. If everyone was 28 would you exclude an 18 yr old or a 38 yr old? It makes no great difference when you have the biggest thing in your world in common i.e. a baby.

poblwcymru · 18/02/2021 16:25

I had a 9 year old when I was 28! Then my second at 29. I now have a teenager and toddler. I'm looking forward to be 40 when my life really will begin again- it's so much easier (IME!) once they go to senior school.

Some people can't imagine anything worse than having a baby at 19 but frankly I couldn't imagine anything worse than having a baby at 40 - it's all relative and the world would be boring if we were all the same!

poblwcymru · 18/02/2021 16:27

@SummerHouse

Why would this affect making friends in baby groups. If everyone was 28 would you exclude an 18 yr old or a 38 yr old? It makes no great difference when you have the biggest thing in your world in common i.e. a baby.
Sadly, people do. I was often excluded from the mum group stuff because I was 19 and they were 30. It felt awful at the time but in hindsight, now I'm in my 30's, we'd have had little in common other than our kids so it probably wasn't a bad thing!
poblwcymru · 18/02/2021 16:27

@SummerHouse

Why would this affect making friends in baby groups. If everyone was 28 would you exclude an 18 yr old or a 38 yr old? It makes no great difference when you have the biggest thing in your world in common i.e. a baby.
Sadly, people do. I was often excluded from the mum group stuff because I was 19 and they were 30. It felt awful at the time but in hindsight, now I'm in my 30's, we'd have had little in common other than our kids so it probably wasn't a bad thing!
Olemis · 18/02/2021 16:30

I don't think there is a 'too young' or 'too old' age. I know parents in their late teens who are more responsible and caring than some I know in their 30's +.

I had my first at 24, second at 25 and 3rd at 31. We were always asked if the first two were planned 🙄

I had much more energy with the first two and barely felt pregnant.

But I feel I am more relaxed with the third.

HotDogHotDiggityDog · 18/02/2021 16:32

I was 28, a month off turning 29 when she was born. To me it felt like a fine age, we were married, owned our home, financially ready had done plenty of travelling and felt ready to settle down. However, I was the first in both of my friendship circles, both university friends and friends from school, and at times that has been hard and it has felt like my life feels a million miles away from theirs. Possibly has been amplified by lockdown, they were all doing zoom quizzes together and getting drunk until 2am and just generally having a completely different experience than being stuck at home with a baby.

Out of my antenatal groups, I was neither the oldest or youngest, probably around average I would say.

AryaStarkWolf · 18/02/2021 16:32

28 is a great age to have kids

C231009 · 18/02/2021 16:36

First at 19 and second at 23. I felt really young with my first and not so much with my second. 28 is definitely not too young!

There’s such a huge variance of ages at baby and toddler groups so I wouldn’t worry. Honestly I didn’t go much but when I did I never felt judgment even with my first. They may have been secretly judging me but I never felt judged.

aSofaNearYou · 18/02/2021 16:36

I think we are at quite a scary point if 28 is considered too young to be having children, giving the window of fertility for women. I understand the reasons why the average age has gone up, and of course there's absolutely nothing wrong with having children at an older age, but still, the idea that you shouldn't be thinking about it until your mid 30s does not seem to fit well with nature's limitations to me.

starsparkle08 · 18/02/2021 16:37

I was 24 when I had my son and didn’t feel it to be young 😊 I wouldn’t worry yourself

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 18/02/2021 16:39

I was 25 and 26 when mine were born, DH was 27&29. They are now 8(nearly) and 9.5years.

Our late 40s and fifties are going to be fantastic if our plans go right. DH retires from the Army in 8 years.

It did help went at university though, aged 19&21. Looking at Uni friends... Those who met at University had babies a similar time or bit later than us. Those who met late 20s/early 30s are just starting the baby phase.

strawberrypip · 18/02/2021 16:42

most people I know who have kids already were younger than 28. Not sure how or why it would be considered too young - how odd.

Swipe left for the next trending thread