To think 28 isn't too young to have a baby?

[Sprockerdilerock]

I'm pregnant with my first child and about to turn 28. DH is 31. Since we started telling our friends and family, a few have commented that they are surprised as we are so young.

I've googled and seen that the average age to be a first time mum has now gone past 30.

Am I going to be the youngest at all baby groups and struggle to make friends?! I thought we were fairly average.

as mentioned by pp I was in m late 20's when I had my first the midwife had me down as elderly primigravida! Nowadays, apparently that describes someone over 35
Extraordinary how times have changed

I actually feel similarly at 29 TTC - am I too young? Should I have seen out the last of my twenties and girls holidays etc before trying?

The pandemic has rushed me to it really as before I had loads of things going on and excuses not to try whilst now it’s hardly like I’m partying every night so my urge for a baby has outweighed everything else in consideration. There’s normally always another holiday or wedding to put off trying.

In fact I think it’s probably perfect as I’ve been really worried about having problems conceiving as it took a relative 5 years...I’ve similarly heard someone say they wanted to be a first time mum at 34 which is absolutely fine on the one hand if you aren’t in a position to before. However if you are married, own a house, have a good job, and are sure you want children often it’s better trying sooner rather than later as you don’t know until you try how difficult it’s going to be. I wanted to crack on.

I figure kids will be going to uni when I’m fifty ish too and I’ll get the years on the other side.

One fifty something man told me when I got married aged 27 that I was far too young as he didn’t marry and have children until he was in his forties- but then he was knackered every day being woken up by small kids!

I have a three year old now and am pregnant with DC2- I was 28 when I became pregnant the first time and 32 the second time 😊 Doesn't feel too young to me!

I'm 28 and a lot of the girls I went to university and school with are starting to have their first babies. I'd say it's young only because I don't feel ready, but it really isn't!

I was 24 when I had my first. Not young by any standards for the area I was living and working in. My brother's friends all commented that I was really young, so I suppose it depends on perspective and local and social norms.

Well, I'm amazed at these answers! When I had my kids, about 35-40 years ago, at 28, you'd have been worrying you were too OLD!

@crosspelican As a matter of interest, in those days, a first time mum at 40 would have been risking a child likely to have Down's Syndrome. Has this risk lessened now?

Surely it's a case of just when you are ready and it feels right for you both, 28 is absolutely not too young.

28 isn't "too young" but depending on the area it would be considered young.

Had my first at 23. Definitely one of the youngest at all the group's etc we went to but had no trouble making friends. As someone else has said I didn't even know most of their ages and they didn't know mine. Most probably would have been surprised to find out I was only 23! Don't worry about it!

Don't worry OP there is always a mix I had my DS when I was 32 one mum in a baby group used to refer to me a "career mum" as I went back to work ft and to them that was crazy, another referred to me as a older mum and my personal favourite "a new aged mum" because I use reusable nappies 😂

You soon learn everyone seems to have a opinion when it comes to motherhood and also to ignore it!

Congratulations OP, sorry about the reactions you’ve had, I think it’s wonderful news.
28,30 and 31 with mine.

I had my first baby when I was 28.5, my husband is 10 years older than me so I probably would have waited little longer otherwise, but I certainly didn't feel too young. I was however the youngest at my NCT classes, most of the other's were mid to late 30s and one couple in their 40s and 50s.

Would never consider 28 to be too young, very average imo. It would be on the younger end of average where I live, and I was the first of my friends to have children by a good couple of years (I was 27 when I had my first) but it has never stopped me making friends. I had my second last year at 29 and noticed a lot more people I went to school with now starting families.

I would think you’ll be very average age-wise at baby groups but obviously depends where you live and what is considered the ‘norm’.

I had all four of mine by the time I was 23!!

Not at all too young. I had my first at 30 and was the eldest in my ante natal group

It is quite young these days, but not too young or something I'd consider would raise any eyebrows. I think people can be a bit blinkered though and only deem what they see in their immediate circle as 'normal'. If its the right tone for you, that's all that matters.

@Wimpeyspread

My social circle is an assorted bunch. I did go to uni but nothing further than degree so I've been working for 6-7 years in a field I love!

Absolutely not! Personally I hope to have finished having all of my kids by the time I’m 30 😂

I was 27 with my first and was noticeably younger in the area we were lived in, most were 35+. Now 40 and as a general rule DH and I are the ‘young ones’ in our social circle with kids similar ages. A lot of our university friends have only started having families in the last few years.
No right or wrong time just whenever you’re ready - there were times we were envious when they were all off on amazing holidays and nights out and we had 2 under 2. Now we definitely have it easier!

Does the class/social circle/area factor mean that the higher class you are the older you are when having your first??

I had mine at 22 and didn't feel too young!

I was 21 with my first and 23 with my second, many of the mums at school were actually younger than me but I think it’s changed and people are waiting a bit later. Thankfully I didn’t as when I tried for another baby in my early 30s I found I was peri menopausal.

I had 2 by 28yo.
But I was the youngest in the toddler groups until I had #3.It wasn't an issue though.

It all depends on your circle - my friend had her first at 28, about to turn 29, and was the youngest in her NCT group by a couple of years. They live in a very wealthy part of Surrey though, she's a professional corporate lawyer in the City, it is on the younger side for that demographic. In another part of the country and another socioeconomic group you'd be looking at everyone having their third child by that age as normal.

Personally, I went to Oxbridge, work in London, none of our friends had children before 28. But I'm now 31 and I'd say well over half of us that are in a relationship have had or are having children, so it rapidly accelerated after 28.

I'm still surprised anyone would say that you are young unless it's your friends saying that (rather than family) and you are the first of your friendship group in which case it will be people just aren't used to the idea in general.

Really? do you not know any people?

Why would you need to ask, you literally can't not know that there are millions of women who have children under the age of 28