To think 28 isn't too young to have a baby?

[Sprockerdilerock]

I'm pregnant with my first child and about to turn 28. DH is 31. Since we started telling our friends and family, a few have commented that they are surprised as we are so young.

I've googled and seen that the average age to be a first time mum has now gone past 30.

Am I going to be the youngest at all baby groups and struggle to make friends?! I thought we were fairly average.

Definitely not young! I feel quite old an I'm having my first at the same age

28 for me, married 2 years at that point, second baby at 31.
Pretty average amongst my friendship group

I had a 8 and 10 year old by the time i was 28

My oldest was born just after I turned 17, I'm nearing 28 & due my 3rd. Out of my friends, I am the only one who has a child over the age 6 & some of my friends are older than me by about 6ish years. But I most certainly wasn't the only one from my year group to have a baby fresh out of school. I have never had comments about being a young mum until I mention my oldest son lol. Was 22 with my 2nd & never had any comments about being young.

I wonder if the 'skewing' towards being in the 30s is to do with the high cost of housing and living in London and the south east. Ie I could see myself waiting longer if I lived in a 1 bed flat at 28, even if I earned very well.

YANBU. I often marvel at how people in their mid to late 30s are having babies! I don't mean this in a negative way I just grew up only knowing younger mums in their early 20s. My mum had me at 23 and she was one of the older mums when I started school.

I was 28 when I got pregnant with DD and 29 when I gave birth. I was told by a few midwives I was a “young mum” - I wouldn’t say it was young at all!!

I had my first at 26, second at 28 and third when I was 39. Most of the mums were in their late 20s or early 30s at the groups I went to.
I would have thought 28 was pretty average.

Had my 1st baby last year and i m 25 no one's commented on it

I am 29 and have 4... dh is older than me.... there is no right or wrong age. Ots whenever you feel ready in my opinion

I think the young comments come from people who feel that it is too young for them, ie they are not at that time in their lives.

Dh and I met when he was 21 and I was 22. We were the first in our group of friends to get married and had our first child when I was 29, Dh was 28. Dh's friends from uni didn't meet their now wives until a bit later so our son is the oldest in the group the next child in the group came along 3 years later. The youngest child in the group is 5 years old making his Dad 41 when he had him.

You decide when you are ready, don't worry about what someone else thinks.

And just to add my youngest is 2. So I was 27 when I had my 4th

OMG. I am ancient - I was an “elderly primagravid” at 28. I received special attention due to being high risk purely due to my advanced age.

Wow Espee that shows how perspectives have changed doesnt it? Presumably our bodies haven't changed that much...

My mum had 4 kids by that age. Admittedly the oldest is now 60, but it just goes to show how attitudes change with time. She was only 19 when she had her first (my brother) and AFAIK there wasn't an issue.

I don't have kids myself but IMO 28 is a perfect age to have them.

Not at all. I had my 3rd at 28 and certainly didn’t feel young and most of the Mum’s at school are similar age to me.

Sorry the oldest is now nearly 60. He'd kill me if I described him as 60.

@Sprockerdilerock

Does the class/social circle/area factor mean that the higher class you are the older you are when having your first??

Bluntly, yes. Although I would say it's more the career thing - people who go to university generally (although not always) are more focused on their careers and build that up in their twenties, not focusing on marriage/children until their thirties.

People who go to uni rarely have children/live with their partners at uni, so they're already three/four years later getting into the world of work, so it's natural that they start families later.

@Sprockerdilerock I had my DC at 27 and it was a fab age in my opinion - i was old enough to have had some life experience and fun, and young enough to still have bags of energy. I’m now 33 with a five year old at school and am in a position to focus on my career, social life (once covid fucks off ) and other stuff. So for me, 27/28 is just about ideal baby-having time!

Of course, there is no right age to have a baby, it’s all bollocks really - but welcome to the world of having your parenting judged constantly...once you become a parent EVERYONE has an opinion.

I had my baby last year at 28 and am the first one of my friends to have a baby, they were all a little shocked I think!

We went to baby classes for a few months in the Autumn between lockdowns and I felt quite young for those too. I am by far the youngest at nursery drop off but realistically I’m not that young! I think it’s just the area we live in.

My mum is in her 40s and there were mums with babies in their 40s so it feels comparatively quite old to me!

I was 24. Wasn't exactly the plan (I was still in the mindset that kids were never going to happen) but I'm chuffed as hell now that I had mine early.

From a purely selfish perspective, having gotten parenting out of the way early I can pack her off to uni in a few years and travel, pick up some hobbys I've let go etc. I'll be 42, whereas by the time my brothers kids hit adulthood he'll be in his mid-50s.

I'll also get to see more of her life before I pop my clogs. Yeah it may only be a few years but theres more chance of meeting grandkids etc. My Mum died last year and barely got to meet my brothers first child, whereas she had 12 years watching my daughter grow up.

I also feel like we connect better. I can go trampolining with my daughter without my back giving out. So many of my friends had parents in their late 50s, early 60s when they were in their teens, whereas mine weren't even 40 when I was mid-teens. My friends always said they were jealous that my parents seemed like actual people rather than old fogeys.

And finally and most childishly, telling my eternal man-child of a father that he was going to be a grandad at 45 was almost worth it all by itself!

I had my first just after my 30th birthday and all my friends thought it was "too young"! They all started following suit a few years later. I have one in preschool and another in reception, while they're mostly on their first babies. I'd definitely prefer to be in my shoes!

In my area some people only a few years older are grandparents!😂😂😂

@Sprockerdilerock

I wonder if the 'skewing' towards being in the 30s is to do with the high cost of housing and living in London and the south east. Ie I could see myself waiting longer if I lived in a 1 bed flat at 28, even if I earned very well.

We live in a London suburb and I had my first at 28 and my second at 31. I did find that I had finished having babies before many of my friends started, but that is actually really nice.

Pretty average I would say,
I had my first at 26 and youngest at 32. I think it’s a good age to have them tbh, old enough to have had a good few years of child free fun and but still young enough that when they adults you are still relatively young yourself.