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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DD using tarot cards

316 replies

silverjackal · 18/02/2021 14:08

I've made it very clear to my DD that I don't approve of her getting involved in tarot readings, divination, etc. and I certainly don't want her bringing home tarot decks. She went ahead and bought three (!!) decks without my permission, using the money I gave her for emergencies.

This happened a couple of months ago, but she only told me she bought them last week. According to her they "help her" and she's using them to inform her A Level options of all things! (I genuinely don't know if she's joking.)

I told her she has to get rid of them and she reacted very angrily, but I honestly don't know what else she expects? She bought them without my permission, using her emergency money, and seems to have an unhealthy dependency on them.

If anyone has advice I'd appreciate it.

OP posts:

KarensChoppyBob · 18/02/2021 15:59

At 14 my best friend convinced me we were being followed by The Incubus, we bunked off one afternoon to go to a Church and get exorcised .

DinosaurDigestive · 18/02/2021 16:00

Of all the things to be worked up about I really don't think tarot cards are one of the things!

I have several sets and they are highly popular and used lots. Etsy in particular have some very beautiful sets with lovely details and colours on the cards.

Assuming that the cards mean death simply by the name is wrong and the information is out there about what the actual meanings are! Same as the hanged man!

At her age, I would be very relieved it wasn't drink or drugs she was spending money on! The cards are harmless and cause people to reflect on things. Absolutely zero harm in that at all.

Also, the fact that you have reacted this way will make it even more of a big thing to her as a lot of teenagers are tempted towards the things their parents say no to. It's natural and shows development is right. Practically all of us would have bought something that our parents didn't agree with at that time!

sadpapercourtesan · 18/02/2021 16:01

What is "emergency money"? Whose money is it, and who decreed that it be "emergency money"?

She's far too old for you to be policing her interests and confiscating her belongings. Tarot cards are not illegal, nor are they harmful. Your objection to them is that they don't conform to YOUR faith, and YOUR values. Yours. Not hers.

If you are the same mother that kicked off over the hair-dye, you need to get a grip on yourself, now, or you are going to lose your daughter altogether.

rawalpindithelabrador · 18/02/2021 16:01

Fucking hell, if I had a mother like this I'd be channelling The Craft, the original version, to try to get the hell out of there. YABVU.

rawalpindithelabrador · 18/02/2021 16:05

Reminds me, I need to book a tarot reading from a friend! I need some guidance here.

Wedlock · 18/02/2021 16:06

I'd pay a sullen goth £5 for a nice tarot reading.

GrolliffetheDragon · 18/02/2021 16:07

I have about 50 decks, mostly because of the art. I use a couple, nothing to do with fortune telling, but for creative purposes and inspiration, for meditation and for problem solving - they can help you look at an issue from a different angle or viewpoint.

It's also led to me reading a lot about art and history, the discussions currently taking place in the tarot world around diversity have inadvertently led me down a feminist rabbit hole and overall being able to read the symbolism in an image is not a terrible skill to have.

Zevia · 18/02/2021 16:07

Ouija is actually a Hasbro board game suitable for ages 8 and over
Tarot cards were (and in some countries, still are) just plain old playing cards. Kind of odd how these things start out as plain old toys.

titchy · 18/02/2021 16:07

There just a load of pictures on cards. Do you ban her from reading books about death or with the devil as a character or where someone gets hanged? How bizarre and controlling.

fridgepants · 18/02/2021 16:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request.

pigsDOfly · 18/02/2021 16:10

Wedlock Yes, you don't see many goths around now. My two are now 35 and 41 years old so both grew out of that phase quite some time ago. Although, they're still both rather alternative in dress and style.

I think a lot of people thought goths were devil worshippers back in the day. The goths I knew through my children tended to be rather lovely, very polite and well behaved.

rawalpindithelabrador · 18/02/2021 16:11

@Wedlock

I'd pay a sullen goth £5 for a nice tarot reading.

She does it for free, well, I bring wine and we drink her wine and get drunk and tarot.

EmpressSuiko · 18/02/2021 16:11

What’s wrong with tarot cards!?

Loopyloututu · 18/02/2021 16:15

I remember buying Tarot cards from afflecks palace in Manchester as a teen and messing with them. My dm (a god fearing woman!) found them and told me I shouldn’t “mess with the occult as it can invite evil into your home” (still remember those were her words!)
Anyway, a few days after getting them I began feeling really ill with some kind of virus and convinced myself it was a curse from the tarot cards - I chucked them in the bin! So my dm’s warning succeeded in scaring the shit out of me

I think it’s just a teen girl thing Op - dd15 is very into horoscopes atm.

myturf · 18/02/2021 16:16

Has she never seen a TV show, watched a film, read a book with death or the devil in? Seems like an odd thing to think at her age.

rawalpindithelabrador · 18/02/2021 16:17

@EmpressSuiko

What’s wrong with tarot cards!?

Nothing at all. They are just cards.

MrsBennetsnerves · 18/02/2021 16:18

I was a teenage tarot reader. Fortunately my parents didn't have an irrational fear of them. I still use them from time to time, many years later. I find them useful for looking at a problem from a different angle, stimulating creative thought. Resist the temptation to control your daughter over this, OP. She isn't conjuring up dark forces by looking at bits of card.

SleepingStandingUp · 18/02/2021 16:20

What do you think she's taking from the death, devil and hanged man cards op? Do you think she'll think it's literal - you'll die, the demon will get you, you'll be murdered? Because if she's done any research at all she'll know that's not what they mean.

Focus on the dishonesty. How much money and what is it for - what kind of emergencies? Does she get pocket money? I'd been then until she's replaced the money if that's a possibility, can any of them be returned? But I wouldn't take all four pairs because she'll just find another way to get them and lie to you.
From an exploitation perspective is also better she's using her own than paying someone else in person or online

Notcontent · 18/02/2021 16:23

Teens are into lots of things. Tarot cards are just another “thing”... My teen has just really got into them - she lights a candle, gets her crystals out, and looks at her cards for guidance! It makes her happy. The only annoying thing is her going on about them! but I am used to it, as there is always something new she is into...

WaltzingBetty · 18/02/2021 16:23

it's rather the fact that a child is consulting cards which explicitly depict 'death', 'the devil' and 'the hanged man' to name a few.

I assume your DD is a teen as you mention A levels.

I'd be fairly confident that she's aware of death as a concept (and anyway the tarot concept of death is different) ditto the devil and hanged man.

They're symbolic playing cards, not a portal to Satan.
What do you think is going to happen?

HellonHeels · 18/02/2021 16:30

@OutingMyDog

I have some called The Tarot of the White Cats. The artwork is excellent

Ive got that set - I love them!

ivyjane · 18/02/2021 16:30

Your daughter is a young adult, not a child. And if you are this controlling now, then God help you when she needs help in the future, because you are the last person that she will turn to for advice.

You are fucking up any relationship you hope to have with her.
There will bigger, darker and worse problems ahead - and she will NOT discuss them with YOU.

You will have only yourself to blame.

BlankTimes · 18/02/2021 16:31

@OutingMyDog

Are these any good for you?

lampflower.net/poketarot/

lampflower.net/poketarot/gallery.html

The link to buy them says the store's closed at the moment but there are a couple of email contacts if you want to follow them up.

Holothane · 18/02/2021 16:32

At that age all I wanted was 007 novels, my lot had it easy with me if that was their only problem.

missymousey · 18/02/2021 16:34