Consequence for 11 yo ds kicking me

[IloveHolby]

Hi mumsnetters

I’ve name changed as not posted for a few years. Ds 11 kicked me hard last week because I told him not to get involved in his sisters roblox dealings with her friend. He wanted to tell us all what a bad deal her friend was making and that she was getting scammed. Dd was happy to wait to video call her friend and was happy with the deal.

Ds kept talking, I told him I’m not interested and he reacted by threatening to break my laptop. He kicked me hard then followed up with 2 not hard kicks. So I banned him from roblox for a week and he had no pocket money this week.

He thinks this is too harsh...aibu?

I’m usually a soft touch - I don’t want to damage our relationship

"Dh is around but he could do with anger management himself -he won’t accept that though. He’s not physically aggressive but over reacts and stomps off swearing. He always goes on about giving ds a beating. Obviously I won’t let him. He has never used the sticker charts I’ve made in the past and when he does react it’s over minor things and he gets angry and threatens a months ban for sibling bickering."

Your child has grown up watching this example of how to deal with things when he's frustrated. Now he's doing the same, suddenly its wrong?

Not harsh enough!

[quote EarringsandLipstick]@peaceanddove

You need to change your username after that horrible post. 😠

And I've reported you. [/quote]
Okay, I apologise for being overly harsh. But the OP is modelling poor behaviour to her children.

Not harsh enough. If my SEN child did that at 11 the punishment wouldn't have been so lenient.

I've always told my son that if he ever willingly lays a hand on me, I will start commando parenting (providing only meals, clean clothes and a roof over his head) for the foreseeable future. I WILL NOT ever be physically abused in my own home, by anyone.

I WILL NOT ever be physically abused in my own home, by anyone

This child is being emotionally abused in his own home by his father. Perhaps op needs to look at that before she piles punishments on her child. He must feel like there's nobody on his side.

Discussed this with a friend. She said the only time she ever smacked her son was when he hit her (which was about half a dozen times around the age of 3 or 4 when he wasn’t getting his own way). She thinks it made him realise that their hitting hurts. She never smacked him for any other reason and now he’s a well adjusted 14 year old. There was no bullying DH around, however, so perhaps not particularly relevant to OP.