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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH upset with me for taking sick day

147 replies

mrshunterr · 18/02/2021 12:23

Just found out I'm pregnant and have managed to come down with some kind of cold. I feel horrendous! OH has just slammed the door and walked out as he doesn't want to use savings to pay bills and now that I'm having a day off he has too.

I said I would do some overtime to put the money back but he's fuming.

AIBU?

OP posts:
AudacityOfHope · 18/02/2021 12:24

Is he always fucking horrible?

LaceyBetty · 18/02/2021 12:26

Sorry you're not well and congratulations on the pregnancy. What's going to happen to the savings when the baby comes? Doesn't sound like a good start.

sugarcherry · 18/02/2021 12:27

Your OH is a prat.

Windinmyhair · 18/02/2021 12:27

Erm. I’d be reconsidering my future with him. He sounds fucking awful. One day sick and that reaction? What would happen if something seriously went wrong with you or the baby?

Is he normally like this?

QueenArseClangers · 18/02/2021 12:31

What dick he is.

Soubriquet · 18/02/2021 12:31

He sounds like a prat

Why does he have to have a day off because you do?

Original poster
mrshunterr · 18/02/2021 12:31

When it comes to money yes!

We already have two DC's together, he doesn't like dipping into savings at all. But because I'm the one that's employed full time I feel like all the stress is on me.

He runs his own little business that does well and he probably makes more than me but because that isn't guaranteed every month all the pressure is on me.

I'm going to have to do 12 hour shifts this week now just to put the money back.

OP posts:
Saywhatyoumeanandmeanwhatyousa · 18/02/2021 12:32

I'd be questioning my decision to have a child with him. Sorry

Somethingkindaoooo · 18/02/2021 12:33

No SSP?
( prob a stupid question!)

Gosh he sounds cold as ice. Dies he always put money ahead of your wellbeing?

Will he do the same with your child?

SmidgenofaPigeon · 18/02/2021 12:33

I don’t get why this means he has to take a day off Confused

Woodlandbelle · 18/02/2021 12:33

Why did he have a day off?

nimbuscloud · 18/02/2021 12:34

That’s very difficult
Can you have a conversation with him about it? Also was this a planned pregnancy?

OutingMyself · 18/02/2021 12:35

@Saywhatyoumeanandmeanwhatyousa

I'd be questioning my decision to have a child with him. Sorry
Are you suggesting she has an abortion over this? What a disgusting thing to say.
Hoppinggreen · 18/02/2021 12:36

@mrshunterr

When it comes to money yes!

We already have two DC's together, he doesn't like dipping into savings at all. But because I'm the one that's employed full time I feel like all the stress is on me.

He runs his own little business that does well and he probably makes more than me but because that isn't guaranteed every month all the pressure is on me.

I'm going to have to do 12 hour shifts this week now just to put the money back.

Like fuck you are You are pg and unwell so shouldn’t be doing extra shifts
OutingMyself · 18/02/2021 12:36

Do you not get sick pay OP?

CattyCactus · 18/02/2021 12:37

OP’s not saying her partner has taken a day off sick as well. She’s saying she’s not getting sick pay so they’ll have to dip into savings to pay the bills, which her partner is upset about. Obviously missing the point that Op is unwell.
Do you not get any sick pay Op? Even statutory?

Allgreyeverything · 18/02/2021 12:38

This a joke, ya?

Stompythedinosaur · 18/02/2021 12:40

He can't expect you never to be sick. If finances are so tight that you can't pay the bills if you are sick then I think you need to come up with a plan to save a small amount for this sort of situation.

He sounds hugely unkind.

Why is he taking the day off?

Original poster
mrshunterr · 18/02/2021 12:40

Sorry for the confusion he's not a having a day off!

I am temping at the moment for an agency so no SSPSad I've been trying to get a new job but it's proving difficult at the moment.

OP posts:
DaphneBridgerton · 18/02/2021 12:41

OP meant "he doesn't want to use savings to pay bills and now that I'm having a day of he has to"

Hope that clears up whether he had a day off or not (he didn't).

burritofan · 18/02/2021 12:43

What does he think savings are for, other than covering bills when finances are short due to sickness, redundancy, mat leave, etc? That’s one of the reasons why people save, surely.

VainAbigail · 18/02/2021 12:44

OH has just slammed the door and walked out as he doesn't want to use savings to pay bills and now that I'm having a day off he has too

Op means now that I'm having a day off he has to - ie, has to use savings (wrong to/too used so sentence took a whole different meaning)

Cam2020 · 18/02/2021 12:44

He could always get a job with a steady income if he can't hack the irregular pay that goes with running a business?

sillysmiles · 18/02/2021 12:44

I think you should be having a conversation with your OH about being pregnant means you could going to need to take days, a colleague ended up bed-ridden in her 5 month of pregnancy. While it is unusual, it's not beyond the scope.
Assumedly he agreed to have a third child.

Either way, you are unwell, and need a day off and he's being a twat.

Washimal · 18/02/2021 12:45

If money is so tight that losing a days pay means having to raid your savings to cover essential bills and you've two DC to support, with a third on the way I can see why he's stressed out to be honest. That doesn't excuse the door slamming though and if you're too ill to work, then you're too ill to work- it can't be helped.

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