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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH upset with me for taking sick day

147 replies

mrshunterr · 18/02/2021 12:23

Just found out I'm pregnant and have managed to come down with some kind of cold. I feel horrendous! OH has just slammed the door and walked out as he doesn't want to use savings to pay bills and now that I'm having a day off he has too.

I said I would do some overtime to put the money back but he's fuming.

AIBU?

OP posts:
shockthemonkey · 18/02/2021 12:46

"Now that I'm having a day off he has to (dip into his savings)"

OP, your OH isn't really up to handling even the smallest of things, is he?

He needs a radical attitude adjustment and he needs it pretty damn quick, too.

notapizzaeater · 18/02/2021 12:47

Aren't savings fir a rainy day ? Isn't today raining ?

Original poster
mrshunterr · 18/02/2021 12:48

@burritofan he wants a nice holiday this year we normally spend 3-4K on a holiday however we went to turkey last year and spent 1500 but we still had a lovely time.

I can't really imagine we will be going on holiday this year anyway!!

It's just ridiculous I was actually nervous about telling him I'm going to call in sick because I knew what his reaction was going to be.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 18/02/2021 12:49

ALl the pressure should not be on you. If his business is patchy he also needs to step up.

You cannot go on like this

shockthemonkey · 18/02/2021 12:50

Silly for him to plan a third child if he feels the family finances are this touch and go.

Apileofballyhoo · 18/02/2021 12:51

What's going to happen when you're on maternity leave?

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 18/02/2021 12:51

What a horrible reaction to your pregnant wife being ill. I could not be with someone so greedy and selfish. Sorry OP Thanks

Viviennemary · 18/02/2021 12:51

He is being horrible. But why are you pregnant again if money is tight. Money worries cause stress.

Ellie56 · 18/02/2021 12:52

He sounds a right twat OP. Is he always this controlling and horrible?

And no you shouldn't be working 12 hour days to "put the savings back." You need to look after yourself.

Stand up for yourself and tell him to put a few more hours in if he's so concerned about the savings.

PussGirl · 18/02/2021 12:55

"some kind of cold" could be covid of course...

he sounds petty and nasty

Singlenotsingle · 18/02/2021 12:55

It doesn't sound like he actually loves you. He loves money, doesn't he? I hope your money/savings are well protected, as I wouldn't trust him an inch!

Cosmos45 · 18/02/2021 12:56

Well he sounds just peachy doesn't he?

Dragongirl10 · 18/02/2021 12:58

Gosh op l am surprised that you wanted a 3rd child with this partner !
Sorry that is not helpful...Are you usually happy with him?

Meruem · 18/02/2021 12:58

You shouldn’t have to feel nervous telling him anything. Ok maybe something big like gambling away the house! But for a sick day, no. Honestly, don’t apologise and don’t feel you have to pay the money “back” it’s your money too! There are only 2 ways out of a relationship like this, become more assertive and don’t allow yourself to be treated this way, or actually end it. You’re not a child, you don’t need “permission” to be unwell. Nor do you need to passively accept his “punishment”. Don’t allow him to treat you that way.

Wishitsnows · 18/02/2021 12:58

It's not good you were worried about telling him and knew there would be a bad reaction. Sounds like you are in an abusive relationship. Don't do 12 hour shifts to cover your sickness. He should be caring about your health as you are carrying his child.

recreationalcalpol · 18/02/2021 12:59

He’s obviously a twat. How will you afford a third child if money is that tight though?

user54328876 · 18/02/2021 13:00

This is quite straightforward really.

One sentence.

"You can either not talk to me like that or you can get the fuck out and don't come back"

You obviously work your fingers to the bone, earning the family fixed income. You do this to allow him to have financial freedom in his business life, to take the pressure off him. He can show some appreciation and understanding or get to fuck, cheeky bastard.

CodenameVillanelle · 18/02/2021 13:00

You realise this is an abusive relationship right?

PaquitaVariation · 18/02/2021 13:01

Some of those savings need to be for covering sick days if you don’t get sick pay, not holidays. He’s being massively unreasonable.

DudeistPriest · 18/02/2021 13:01

"some kind of cold" could be covid of course...
Exactly I bet your co-workers wouldn't thank you for turning up with cold symptoms.

Laiste · 18/02/2021 13:01

Is he always like this?

Was he like it when you were pregnant with your first two with him?

CorianderBee · 18/02/2021 13:02

It's your money too...

Devlesko · 18/02/2021 13:02

Are the other kids his, he seems so out of touch, has he no experience of a partner being pregnant.
He sounds like a right twat tbh, he's not your boss and nothing to do with him if you take a day off.
Tell him to get a proper job where you can rely on the money.
Does he do his 50/50 share of parenting and domestic work.

swinglowsweetchariot12 · 18/02/2021 13:03

Ummmm you're sick and pregnant

You don't have to pay the money back at all

OH sounds like a prat

Fiona2020 · 18/02/2021 13:03

Eeeee are you sure you want another baby with this arse?!

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