OH upset with me for taking sick day

[mrshunterr]

Just found out I'm pregnant and have managed to come down with some kind of cold. I feel horrendous! OH has just slammed the door and walked out as he doesn't want to use savings to pay bills and now that I'm having a day off he has too.

I said I would do some overtime to put the money back but he's fuming.

AIBU?

He needs to look for a second job then. Plenty of us have two jobs. I get most of my income through self employment but I am also employed for a few hours a week (and get sick pay if I am ill for those hours). Something could happen to either of you - expanding your options is good.
And expensive holidays do not come before health!

YANBU He needs to take the thorn out of his bum. It's one day, you're expecting and working long hours. If you're ill, you need time to recover.

I wouldn't recommend showing an angry partner this thread, no. If it's a friendly dispute and one person comes here to get some more opinions with the other's agreement, fine to share the results with them. But in a situation like this the partner is only going to get angrier if you are seen to be running to a bunch of strangers to put your side and "make them look bad". If things escalate you might need this as a safe source of advice and support.

Why are you dipping into savings for a sick day???

Presumably no sick pay at work
But that means your finances are in a knife edge if one day off work plunges you into savings

Slamming doors and having a go at you because you are sick is g worrying behaviour

This won't solve the relationship issue, but it'll potentially solve the money issue.

You'll accrue annual leave via your recruitment company. You could ask them to pay you for a day's holiday so that you don't have the need to make up the time (and potentially make yourself more unwell).

😳 is he always like this?

The episode OP reported was emotionally abusive. How many abusive episodes do there need to be, before it's classed as 'an abusive relationship'?

The episode OP reported was that he "walked out and slammed the door". I may be in the minority here, but I will freely admit to having walked out and slammed a door in my time and I don't believe I'm an emotional abuser. As I said, he may be abusive, and I certainly don't think he's behaved well. But based on the very limited information we have available I am simply questioning the apparent certainty of some posters that OP is a victim of domestic abuse, that her OH does not love her and that she should LTB and reconsider her decision to have another child.

Your finances are extremely highly geared if one day off is going to mean bills can’t be met. Are you honestly saying there is literally no leeway whatsoever but you are having a third child? Also he sounds like an arse. It sounds like a sub optimal situation all round really.

Whe. He slammed the foot I’d have told him not to bother coming back ffs! Last time I was off ill a few years ago (excruciating period cramps, much worse than normal, flooding and barely able to keep my eyes open) my made me a hot water bottle, brought me water and painkillers then called me at 9 so I was awake to call in. He checked in on me and brought me treats from the shop on his way home.

Jesus, what a twat.

It really boils my piss when employed partners end up carrying the family so that the self employed get to "live the dream". Obviously we don't know the background here but a I've come across a lot of self employed people who would be virtually unemployable otherwise because they have horrible personalities. Its not a given, but in the circumstances I wonder if there's a bit of that going on here?

Ps Maybe being a bit harsh here but I watched my own father playing at being in business and passing a fortune up the wall for years while my mother brought home the bacon. Fuck that noise.

Did you say you're the ONLY one working full time?!?!?! Wtf?!?!?!

This is dreadful.
I'm 32 weeks pregnant and I had a horrendous start to the pregnancy, I was off sick for 3 months. My DP was nothing but supportive and caring during this time. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this on top of pregnancy OP.

im going to have to work a 12 he shift to make up the money

Errrr no you don't!

You're sick and he needs to fuck right off and start to support you like a grown adult

That’s so mean spirited of him op. Tight and unsupportive towards his pregnant partner

Please talk to Women's Aid.
There is something very wrong if you are afraid to tell him you are unwell.

Why are you having a third child with such a nasty man that you are afraid of?

He sounds financially controlling.

Please get support IRL.

Sorry but I don't have sympathy for you if you willingly chose to have another child with this twat.

We already have two DC's together, he doesn't like dipping into savings at all. But because I'm the one that's employed full time I feel like all the stress is on me

So why keep on having children???????
You need to stop having kids you can'r afford!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm confused why you have to dip into savings for a sick day? How much extra does it cost to be at home ill?

He's a Dick

I'd be terminating the pregnancy and getting well away from the cheap, controlling, snobby arsehole.

And wondering why the fuck I'd had 2 children already with such a cunt.

How are you feeling today OP.. are you much improved..

Why the fuck do intelligent, self respecting women stay with these arseholes? What, has he got an 11" solid gold cock or something?