friend got job she knew I wanted

[fcekinghell]

It may be my own stupid fault, lesson learned but anyway.

I have an industry mentor. Mentors were being offered to people in my field about 2 years ago and I put myself forward as a means to widen my network, find out about new opportunities etc, especially as I wasn't happy where I was at the time.

I got assigned to a woman I will call Debbie. We had a few Zoom calls, emails etc where she gave me some tips and advice on how to move into employers like her own.

For the record, I am more qualified and experienced than Debbie but wanted a mentor to help me into that kind of employer. Debbie told me to keep her posted on my job hunting. Offered to help with my CV and interview skills if I needed it.

Well I got made redundant in Covid. Debbie still working where she is. Then my dream job came up. I excitedly told Debbie, telling her its my dream job. I did the application and asked Debbie what she thought, was there anything missing. She told me it was 'perfect' and 'good luck'.

Well, I didn't get the job. They said they might recruit later in the year and they'll let me know. I've now heard that Debbie got the job.

It feels like a real kick in the stomach. She was my mentor. She knew this was my dream job and jobs like this don't come up often. In fact, really rarely. She knew I was unemployed whilst she was still working. Plus this job is asking for a particular skill which I do not believe she has.

DH and my DM are telling me I am a fucking idiot for speaking to her. I am aren't I? I probably gave her all the answers too!

I'm so upset

But she's a mentor not a friend?

@JayAlfredPrufrock

Who has a mentor who is less qualified?

one that can coach on other aspects of career and working life? like interview skils?

I do think it would have been more professional to say that she was applying, and declined to proof read OP's application.

Keep the updates coming, OP, she got what she deserved.

Why are you still thinking about this? It really doesn’t reflect well on you to be gloating about someone being unemployed.

I think they chose who they preferred and that was Debbie irrespective of whether or not the application form was shared

However....

I think I would complain to her and the mentor scheme that when you shared the app she really should've told you immediately that she had applied so you could either choose to still have her review it or not. I do think it is an advantage to see what your competition has written and you didnt see hers, and I do think it isnt right that a mentor would give you feedback when they have a vested interest in doing better than you. I may even tell the company that you interviewed at that you're now aware she applied and you gave her your app to review as she is your mentor but she didnt reveal that she had applied and gave you feedback on the app that it was perfect, but wouldve seen your content therefore it would be helpful for you to know if the written app made the difference or not so you have some objective feedback instead of what you now know to have been subjective.

@fcekinghell

Final update, I promise.

Debbie is not there anymore. She's unemployed and 'looking for work' on LinkedIn.

The employer doesn't seem to be doing that particular project anymore that they got funding for. No idea what's happened to the funding but nevertheless, I clearly had a lucky escape.

I guess she did me a favour, in a round about way. And taught me a lesson too. I am also still in my current role and enjoying it. I realise I may sound a bit gloating but fuck it. I'm happy. She probably isn't.

Anyway absolute final update from me!

Sorry OP I realise now this was a zombie thread with updates:) glad you're well

I love it when things naturally work themselves out. Well done on the new job OP.

Someone just reminded me of this thread by reposting on another thread today. I remember Debbie! Thanks for updating OP, so glad things worked out. And a rather satisfying conclusion that things didn’t work out so well for Debbie at the other place. Schadenfreude – karma’s a bitch Debbie. 🤷🏻

Best of luck at the new place OP!