friend got job she knew I wanted

[fcekinghell]

It may be my own stupid fault, lesson learned but anyway.

I have an industry mentor. Mentors were being offered to people in my field about 2 years ago and I put myself forward as a means to widen my network, find out about new opportunities etc, especially as I wasn't happy where I was at the time.

I got assigned to a woman I will call Debbie. We had a few Zoom calls, emails etc where she gave me some tips and advice on how to move into employers like her own.

For the record, I am more qualified and experienced than Debbie but wanted a mentor to help me into that kind of employer. Debbie told me to keep her posted on my job hunting. Offered to help with my CV and interview skills if I needed it.

Well I got made redundant in Covid. Debbie still working where she is. Then my dream job came up. I excitedly told Debbie, telling her its my dream job. I did the application and asked Debbie what she thought, was there anything missing. She told me it was 'perfect' and 'good luck'.

Well, I didn't get the job. They said they might recruit later in the year and they'll let me know. I've now heard that Debbie got the job.

It feels like a real kick in the stomach. She was my mentor. She knew this was my dream job and jobs like this don't come up often. In fact, really rarely. She knew I was unemployed whilst she was still working. Plus this job is asking for a particular skill which I do not believe she has.

DH and my DM are telling me I am a fucking idiot for speaking to her. I am aren't I? I probably gave her all the answers too!

I'm so upset

Hello everyone

Its been nearly a year and time for a little update.

She's still there albeit seemingly working part time alongside some other freelance work.

As for me, I now work for another charity, full time, permanent, home based and I really like it. I also earn (slightly) more than I would in the smaller charity.

I'm in a better place and I don't really dwell on what happened anymore although I will certainly learn from the experience.

One thing I have learned, is that it wasn't my dream job after all. I don't think I would have enjoyed it at all, not least because of who I would have been working with and the way they conduct their business.

I'm heading in another direction career wise and I'm fine with that. I don't think the dream job exists. I don't think such a thing exists anymore and it was all in my head. I like where I am and what I'm doing now but if that changes, that's fine, I can move on again.

As I said, I'm in a better place. Thanks to all who responded.

Great update @fcekinghell and really happy things worked out better for you!

What a lovely update. Thank you.

I remember this from the beginning.
Thanks for the great update!
Hope it keeps getting better for you, @OP. 👍

Super update, thank you!

Great update, delighted everything is going well for you.

Great update!

Love a good update, thanks OP! Sounds like things have worked out well, and a great attitude to have about not pining after your dream job but going with the opportunities you get and moving if they don’t suit. Glad to hear things are going well!

Great update. So pleased for you. Everything happens for a reason! Wishing you continued good fortune.

Lovely update, OP.

Has she tried to get in touch?

F

Oh I remember seeing this thread originally. Lovely update. Glad you are happy with your job now.

Lovely update, well done op

Good for you!

If I was her and wanted to be a cow I would have casually mentioned in the interview being a mentor of one the other candidates. Why have the trainee when you could have the teacher? OP you have every right to be furious. I really don’t understand why people are pretending to be stupid on here. OF COURSE she stabbed you in the back to get it.

Sorry! I didn’t see the dates…. again. So happy for you! I just read this and was sitting up in bed miffed

I’m so pleased to see the outcome of this. I remember the thread from last year and recall being totally outraged on your behalf! Glad you’re in a happier place and enjoying your new job!

I remember your thread! Thank you for updating us.
I believe that things happen for a reason and it certainly looks this way in your case.

Brilliant update!
Good for you OP. I'm so pleased you're happy.

I'm glad you're in a better place op.

Excellent. Glad things worked out for you

Good to read your update, OP and it's interesting that you've learned that your "dream job" wouldn't have been.

Good luck.

Final update, I promise.

Debbie is not there anymore. She's unemployed and 'looking for work' on LinkedIn.

The employer doesn't seem to be doing that particular project anymore that they got funding for. No idea what's happened to the funding but nevertheless, I clearly had a lucky escape.

I guess she did me a favour, in a round about way. And taught me a lesson too. I am also still in my current role and enjoying it. I realise I may sound a bit gloating but fuck it. I'm happy. She probably isn't.

Anyway absolute final update from me!

Debbie sounds nuts. I’m so pleased it all worked out for you and you kept your cool. Dream anything is never real, because all you have is theory. Until you actually do something you don’t really know what it’s gonna be like or how it’ll pan out.