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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To send DC to nursery 8am - 6pm?

802 replies

FTEngineerM · 17/02/2021 07:04

DF has put his opinion out there last night and I ended the call really upset. So then he left a guilt tripping voicemail about how I’ll live to regret this and it’ll be the worst thing I do.

I love my job. I love my child. But it’s been so hard parenting him in a pandemic we’ve decided to send him 2 days a week for 12 weeks until the end of my maternity then up to 5 days a week when he’s 1 and I’m back in FT. So that’ll be some point between 8am and 6pm 5 days a week, not always the whole time, probably 8:30-5 majority of days.
He’s 8m old and started this week, loved it, left smiling and went in smiling at the key worker on the second day. Lots of photo updates throughout the day.

Then I pointed out to DP that everyone has said something about the subject actually not just DF, he was just sharp with his words. All we’ve heard is ‘oo, that’s a long day, he’s so tiny’ ‘ I didn’t know they took babies that small’ ‘ why are you working full time Mr FTEngineerM earns more than enough for you to go part time or quit’ ‘you’ll regret it’ ‘it’s awful to be away from your baby for that long’ ‘think of the bond’

I’m a lot more emotional that usual being pregnant, but we’re taking a barrage of comments from people who firstly don’t have babies right now or at least certainly didn’t have them in a pandemic.

Am i BU to enjoy working and want to work full time when he’s 1? And do 2 days a week until that point? Am I really being selfish for wanting to go to work all day? I’m fed up of every parenting decision we make being scrutinised having to go through ‘the committee’ like we can’t make our own choices. I’ll be back off on maternity leave when DC is 15m old until he’s over 2yo.

OP posts:
Frazzled99 · 19/02/2021 19:55

@FTEngineerM have to say I love our CM. It was perfect for DD1 from 11 months and she'll go to 2.5 years. Then she's going to pre-school and DD2 will take the CM place again at 11 months when I go back to work FT. I find CM environment really nice for the younger babies and you only pay the hours you use rather than set ones. Mine only has 3 children so it's not too intense and DD absolutely loves it there. She'll be well ready to mix with a larger groups in a few months though.

Drunkenmonkey · 19/02/2021 23:44

I can see this thread is more or less finished but I just wanted to also mention how amazing CM's are. If you find the right one it is like having a family member, with the added bonus of the wealth of experience they have and the other children your child can mix with.
It completely transformed my feelings towards work when I knew my DS was going to his home from home and I was able to develop a close relationship with the person in charge of his care. When he got tired after a long day he was able to chill and just have cuddles on the sofa, like normal home life.
Good luck

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