Non-binary pronouns change for my daughter

[Dollyplum]

Hi everyone, I'm new here and after searching, couldn't find any past threads for this.

My daughter now identifies as non-binary and has changed her name to reflect her new identity. She is now asking us to use they/them pronouns and tbh, we're really struggling with this. We don't have any issues with her wanting to be the person she wants to be, but I can't quite explain why we find the pronouns so hard to come to terms with. I guess from an old fashioned perspective, they/them is plural, and we have known her for nearly 14 years as a girl.

Can anyone give me some advice on how to handle this please? Are we just being stubborn? Should be change the pronouns? The name change was welcomed with open arms by our whole family and she is definitely happier that everyone has settled into this without issue. We have changed her name at school, dentist, etc. to her preferred name.

I'm sure other parents here have been through the same thing and any advice would be welcome please. Thank you so much :-) x

Yes. That is definitely part of the trap for young women. They think the men they marry are going to be totally different to their fathers, and it will all be equal.

So that's why I have have sympathy for trans and non binary teenagers. They want to identify out? Good luck with that. Maybe they know something I didn't.

Maybe. Probably not though, all generations think they have the answers and they all end up older and more rueful. I have huge sympathy for kids growing up now, it's even more of a minefield than before since social media got added in to the mix.

I don't blame any of them for looking for answers in the wrong place - I put all the blame on the selfish, irresponsible (and potentially sinister) adults looking to exploit their confusion.

It's not pandering. It's respecting.

I will always respect my children, but I won’t collude in a lie.

@Stripesnomore

Rootytoot, I am trying to understand what you mean by gender. I have been very clear on what I mean by gender.

Do you think there is any kind of relationship between sex and gender? If not, why use the same terms for both?

There are male and female aurochs, but they don’t have a gender just a sex. If gender isn’t a response to sex or in some way related to sex, what do you mean when you keep saying gender?

It's obviously related. I just think there's a distinct difference between saying sex and gender, and gender being a spin off of sex.

I use male and female for both because that's what they are in relation to . This is a tedious point. I didn't make the terms

@Sofetikal

It's not pandering. It's respecting.

I will always respect my children, but I won’t collude in a lie.

So your child wants to be called by a different name and feel they are trans.

You shut them down.

Is that respectful?

@Impatiens

So that's why I have have sympathy for trans and non binary teenagers. They want to identify out? Good luck with that. Maybe they know something I didn't.

Maybe. Probably not though, all generations think they have the answers and they all end up older and more rueful. I have huge sympathy for kids growing up now, it's even more of a minefield than before since social media got added in to the mix.

I don't blame any of them for looking for answers in the wrong place - I put all the blame on the selfish, irresponsible (and potentially sinister) adults looking to exploit their confusion.

I don't either, but the massive divide isn't helping them to find peace.

Impatiens, are you aware how many people actually have surgery?

Strange that's been shushed on this thread when it is absolutely broadcast on any thread in relation to trans and changing rooms.

I will always respect my children, but I won’t collude in a lie.

Exactly. Apart from anything else, it's quite likely you will have to answer to those children for those lies at a future time when they've realised that gender ideology didn't solve their problems.

@RootyT00t

Impatiens, are you aware how many people actually have surgery?

Strange that's been shushed on this thread when it is absolutely broadcast on any thread in relation to trans and changing rooms.

Breast implants/mastectomies/facial 'feminisation' - including 'shaving' of the jawbone and adam's apple - it's not all about the genitals.

Right. And again, do the majority of people do this?

@RootyT00t

Right. And again, do the majority of people do this?

What's the relevance of the number @RootyT00t You are clearly trying to make a point. Why don't you just discuss your point reasonably rather than persisting with your one line challenges?

Rootytoot, I don’t consider it a term. If gender doesn’t come from biological sex, where does it come from?

Is it a religious belief? I don’t have an issue with people holding religious views on the origin of gender.

They can change their name to whatever they like. I actually changed mine as an adult, no issue there. I’m happy for them to wear what they want and portray themselves how they want, but no I won’t pretend they are something they biologically are not.

Interesting point waltzing, from a poster with a fair number of deleted comments...

I don't think I have all the answers.

The absolute irony of that , when 90 percent of posters on this board think they can tell non binary children's parents that it's a load of nonsense! Yet you save up your insults for me.

@Stripesnomore

Rootytoot, I don’t consider it a term. If gender doesn’t come from biological sex, where does it come from?

Is it a religious belief? I don’t have an issue with people holding religious views on the origin of gender.

It does come from or is related to sex. Still two separate things. I don't think it's a religious belief no

Thanks Rootytoot.

@RootyT00t

Right. And again, do the majority of people do this?

What's your point?

[quote RootyT00t]@WaltzingBetty could you desist with the attacking me? Thanks.[/quote]
Where exactly have I attacked you?

Or are you confusing 'perfectly polite question?' With personal attack because that's easier than actually answering?

@Impatiens , well, saying it is massively concerning that teenagers are trans on Tik tok due to dangerous medical procedures with zero evidence of how many will actually do this just seems an empty statement to make.