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Original poster

Non-binary pronouns change for my daughter

894 replies

Dollyplum · 16/02/2021 16:30

Hi everyone, I'm new here and after searching, couldn't find any past threads for this.

My daughter now identifies as non-binary and has changed her name to reflect her new identity. She is now asking us to use they/them pronouns and tbh, we're really struggling with this. We don't have any issues with her wanting to be the person she wants to be, but I can't quite explain why we find the pronouns so hard to come to terms with. I guess from an old fashioned perspective, they/them is plural, and we have known her for nearly 14 years as a girl.

Can anyone give me some advice on how to handle this please? Are we just being stubborn? Should be change the pronouns? The name change was welcomed with open arms by our whole family and she is definitely happier that everyone has settled into this without issue. We have changed her name at school, dentist, etc. to her preferred name.

I'm sure other parents here have been through the same thing and any advice would be welcome please. Thank you so much :-) x

OP posts:
pumpkinbump · 16/02/2021 22:14

*So I am equatable to people feeding puberty blockers even though you know nothing about my views on this?

Righto.
*
So you'll entertain they/them until it comes the time where the child has made up their mind that they are trans and wants to take steps to 'change sex'?

RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 22:14

@pumpkinbump

*So I am equatable to people feeding puberty blockers even though you know nothing about my views on this?

Righto.
*
So you'll entertain they/them until it comes the time where the child has made up their mind that they are trans and wants to take steps to 'change sex'?

Again, you are making things up pumpkin.
BrumBoo · 16/02/2021 22:16

You can rubbish it if you want , but it is there.

I'm not rubbishing pansexuality. I'm saying that falling for a person of either sex is bisexuality. Falling for a person of any sex or gender is pansexuality. What's there to argue?

RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 22:17

@BrumBoo

You can rubbish it if you want , but it is there.

I'm not rubbishing pansexuality. I'm saying that falling for a person of either sex is bisexuality. Falling for a person of any sex or gender is pansexuality. What's there to argue?

Not my understanding, but it would be boring if we all thought the same.
WaltzingBetty · 16/02/2021 22:18

I think you need to do some research on how many of these children take puberty blockers. You are obsessed with this issue and it's colouring your view.

Well none at the moment in England since this untested 'therapy' has been paused pending judicial review

ElizabethofpeanutYorkies · 16/02/2021 22:18

This reply has been deleted

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RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 22:18

@WaltzingBetty

Because space cadets like previous PPs scream about being a woman so much that it further increases the divide, confuses young people further and pushes them into that world because they certainly don't want to be in that one.

I'm not an expert but I'm reasonably confident that the MN FWR posters aren't the driving force behind the rise of gender ideology.

Thanks for your reasoned response though

I don't think theyre the driving force behind the ideology but they are making the divide worse.
RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 22:19

@ElizabethofpeanutYorkies

Oi *@NoToMisogyny* it was me telling people to fuck off not *@RootyT00t* .

"@NoToMisogyny I'm not hysterical at the prospect of feminists ( the horror) not sticking to their own board because they're getting in the way of my recuriting "

Recruiting? Are you one of those creepy cult leaders?

Misogyny doesn't understand we are just normal people with opinions because FWR doesn't function without an agenda.
BrumBoo · 16/02/2021 22:19

Not my understanding, but it would be boring if we all thought the same.

What are you not understanding? Sex and gender attraction being different things?

pumpkinbump · 16/02/2021 22:20

@RootyT00t

I've done my research thank you. No child should be put on puberty blockers, no child can consent to a lifetime of medication. No child can consent to the loss of sexual function in later life. No child can consent to never being a parent. 1 is too many.

A person losing their job for publishing findings on how many desist after puberty is fine? Do you not think these statistics are relevant?

WaltzingBetty · 16/02/2021 22:20

I don't think theyre the driving force behind the ideology but they are making the divide worse.

Well thanks for sharing your opinion but I was actually hoping for an informed answer to my question rather than soapbox vitriol.

RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 22:20

@WaltzingBetty

I think you need to do some research on how many of these children take puberty blockers. You are obsessed with this issue and it's colouring your view.

Well none at the moment in England since this untested 'therapy' has been paused pending judicial review

But pumpkins reasoning for not allowing OP and PP to use pronouns is because she doesn't want her daughter using puberty blockers.

I'm assuming there's a connection somewhere, even if I'm not seeing it.

pumpkinbump · 16/02/2021 22:21

@WaltzingBetty

I think you need to do some research on how many of these children take puberty blockers. You are obsessed with this issue and it's colouring your view.

Well none at the moment in England since this untested 'therapy' has been paused pending judicial review

And rightly so! Thank you Keira Bell!
ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown · 16/02/2021 22:21

@BrumBoo

You can rubbish it if you want , but it is there.

I'm not rubbishing pansexuality. I'm saying that falling for a person of either sex is bisexuality. Falling for a person of any sex or gender is pansexuality. What's there to argue?

What is there that is included in the definition of pansexuality is not already included in the definition of bisexuality?
ElizabethofpeanutYorkies · 16/02/2021 22:22

"@RootyT00t Misogyny doesn't understand we are just normal people with opinions because FWR doesn't function without an agenda."

Eh?

pumpkinbump · 16/02/2021 22:23

Because it's all part of the same ideology. You don't opt in or out of your sex.

RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 22:23

@WaltzingBetty

I don't think theyre the driving force behind the ideology but they are making the divide worse.

Well thanks for sharing your opinion but I was actually hoping for an informed answer to my question rather than soapbox vitriol.

Okay . Genuinely?

The world is changing. People don't feel like they fit into boxes anymore. Social media plays a huge part, as does social influencers.
I personally think it's always been an issue but played out as mental health and/or sexuality when it wasn't, it was a gender issue.

The same reason my older relatives maintain they werent as many gay people in their dau. Of course they were. They were married , or were bachelors, or lived a life in secret.

Gender identity has always been a thing. People are finding their voices and will not be shouted down that non binary , trans etc does not exist. It's got completely out of hand, but rightly so now, gender and the feelings in relation to that are being brought to the forefront.

Everyone focuses on the young ones. I personally think about those who are in the middle of life who have lived under a cloak who can now be free.

The world is realising that it is not up to other people to police how you define yourself. And like anything else, positive leads positive.

RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 22:24

@pumpkinbump

Because it's all part of the same ideology. You don't opt in or out of your sex.
No it isn't.

It just isn't.

RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 22:25

[quote ElizabethofpeanutYorkies]"@RootyT00t Misogyny doesn't understand we are just normal people with opinions because FWR doesn't function without an agenda."

Eh? [/quote]
@NoToMisogyny talks about recruiting because that's what they do. They can't understand having an opinion without an agenda.

I personally will not have my life changed if children use pronouns. It's part of my job, and I embrace it.

These guys can't cope with it. hence the deflection in calling us recruiters. Because their brains think it's them vs us.

pumpkinbump · 16/02/2021 22:25

Yes, yes it is. It's absurd.

RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 22:25

@ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown gender

BrumBoo · 16/02/2021 22:26

What is there that is included in the definition of pansexuality is notalreadyincluded in the definition of bisexuality??

Gender. Bisexuality means you are attracted to both sexes. Gay/straight to one sex (opposite or the same). Pan means your also open to gender ID on the idea that you'd date anyone regardless of how they ID, though some are trying to change the definition of gay/lesbian to wrongly mean same gender attracted.

RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 22:26

@pumpkinbump

Yes, yes it is. It's absurd.
What is now?

I've lost track. Are you still on puberty blockers or have you picked another hill to die on?

HmmSureJan · 16/02/2021 22:26

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pumpkinbump · 16/02/2021 22:27

The world is changing. People don't feel like they fit into boxes anymore. Social media plays a huge part, as does social influencers.
I personally think it's always been an issue but played out as mental health and/or sexuality when it wasn't, it was a gender issue.*

Proves my point. Gay people aren't really gay, they have a gender crisis and are therefore trans.

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