To have lost my temper at the mess. You I know AIBU but honestly!

[Cheeseismymiddlename]

Older teens and DH all home for half term. I work full time . Normally I would take some time off this week but it was not to be, I didn’t mind as would prefer to save holiday for post lock down. I popped home at lunch time, not unexpectedly . No one has lifted a finger to put away last nights dried dishes ( which I washed up). More dirty dishes generated and left on the side. Piled in a way I couldn’t reach the kettle and cutlery in the drawer. Teen boy then comes in and asks me what’s for lunch. Teen daughter asking what’s for dinner tonight. Dry laundry still on airers in the hallway, cushions all over the living floor. Husbands DIY project spread all over the dining room because it’s too cold in the garage to work He just popped out for more bits. Someone opened a large delivery and left the empty box and packaging out.
So I blew my top. Called the teens animals for treating their home like this and I stormed out.

Normally I would have folder the laundry and put away this dishes before work but I woke up much later than normal because DH woke me up coming to bed drunk at 1.30 am. I’m literally shaking with rage in my car right now. A total over reaction I know but work is stressful due to covid regulations and I’m juggling other significant problems . I know I shouldn’t have shouted and called them that name but I’m just so disappointed in all of them.

@ShesMadeATwatOfMePam

You've brought them up like that and allowed your husband to treat you like a skivvy. They're just copying the example you've both shown them.

Honestly what is the point of your post? To make the OP feel worse? Do you enjoy kicking people when they're down? Why?

@ShesMadeATwatOfMePam

You've brought them up like that and allowed your husband to treat you like a skivvy. They're just copying the example you've both shown them.

Why is it her fault, and not her husband's for being a lazy dick?

YANBU in the slightest. Lazy, selfish pigs. I reckon they needed to hear your outburst. From now on, everyone has assigned chores.

The husband wasn't in the house...

I totally understand feeling frustrated that you're doing everything! Bit ultimately, you've already done everything so you're expecting them to have the same standards as you?

Your house sounds well under control and clean organised...

Many parents are giving up complete on cleaning etc due to the insane pressures of work from home and home school

YADNBU
And just to echo other posters, I think calling them animals sounded justified TBH.
I hope to god you got back to a tidy home and dinner planned for you.
Either way, you need to sit down with your H and the kids and tell them things are-a-changing.

• you won’t tolerate the shit pit you came back to again, the expectation is they will keep the place tidy
• they sort their own lunch out; and they can all contribute to dinner on alternate nights
• and separately you need to speak to your H about having consideration if he’s going to get pissed on a school-night, then it’s absolutely not on to wake you up

Good luck

And include washing up in the new rota.

Eh. Animals is very mild. It's not like you called them a bunch of cunts.

Not over reacting.
Andd it’s certainly time for all of them to stop treating you like a skivvy

Well, came home to a tidy house obviously. Kids and Dh thought it would be funny to greet me by the back door with a salute ( we are ex forces ) which it was. Dinner was made, the talk was had. We will just have to see. Obviously it’s not the first time they have been told to muck in so I’m not expecting a massive improvement if I’m honest.
Thank you for your replies. Made me feel better at least.

@ParadiseIsland .... maybe next time I will.

That’s good news, thanks for the update! Hope they get the message and it sticks.

Great! Glad you're feeling better.

It doesn't feel nice to lose your temper or call people names, but they're not small children, OP and they will understand why you lost your temper. YANBU at all. It doesn't hurt to remind them that you are person with feelings and limits and not their maid.

Good update Op.
Hope you’re relaxing now.
Fingers crossed you do see an improvement, but if not don’t revert back to simply doing stuff for everyone. Remind them all what you expect.

@Fluffycloudland77

You need a dishwasher, why are you still washing up?.

They have (had) a dishwasher. OP

@Cheeseismymiddlename

Well, came home to a tidy house obviously. Kids and Dh thought it would be funny to greet me by the back door with a salute ( we are ex forces ) which it was. Dinner was made, the talk was had. We will just have to see. Obviously it’s not the first time they have been told to muck in so I’m not expecting a massive improvement if I’m honest. Thank you for your replies. Made me feel better at least.

Same sort of reactions I get from my lot when I low my top (not forces but they recognise I've had enough and it's their way of being lighthearted iyswim)!

Fingers crossed they took the hint!

OP,

When you expect more and do less they will get the message.

Show them how to do their laudry and tell the crack on.

Stop going to any trouble with meals.
Telll them soup and a sandwich for dinner.

You have taught them how to teach you.

I have teens.
Sometimes they need to be firmly reminded ofvwhat the should be doing as you make life decidedly less comfortable for them.
They are very quick to come round quickly when it suits them.

Tell them you expect tomorrow to mirror today and if it doesn't happen there will be more of today.

Dont be a wimp.
Give it to them straight.

Well done, sometimes they need a bloody rocket! Don’t feel bad. Hopefully they’ll see you as a human being now instead of just “mum”. I get the rage when asked what’s for lunch too. Mine get their own lunch now - bliss! I just have loads of cheese, ham wraps, bagels etc... and they do their own.