A friend accused me of being snoopy during Zoom/Teams meetings

[IknowIch]

I am long-term MN NC user.
English second language.

So to get on with it, I expressed to a friend I judge colleagues' background (e.g. type of wall paper, paint colour, decor, etc) during Zoom/Teams meetings, such as a laptop not on a desk or senior staff members with no home libraries or dedicated workspace.

Am I the only one who snoops into other's houses during meetings?

post a picture of your home library and I'll judge away

I snoop all the time! I always look in the background of photos people post on social media too, sometimes the background is more interesting than the subject! During one Zoom call we went off topic for a good few minutes to admire a colleagues kitchen, so sometimes it's good snooping!

I also move all clutter out of my own photos and Zoom from a completely blank, white wall

I had high level meetings with 4 other senior company executives last week from Organisations you would know if I named them.

1. was in a room that looked like a prison cell, although the background was a futon not a bunk bed. I think his spare room belonged to one of his grown up kids before they moved out
2. was lounging on his sofa, unshaven, yes I judged but then he was being a dick anyway so gave me a reason. I have had professional calls with him when he does look smart and sit at a desk too.
3. Blurs their background as the quiet office is on one of the bedrooms, meanwhile there are 3 kids downstairs or around being home schooled by the parent that is not on a call.
4. Had their primary aged DD on the sofa behind them (using a desk in the lounge)

All of us would be classed as high earners, none of us worked from home a year ago, we all had swish offices so none of us have a special broom cupboard like Matt Hancock.

I have an office in my house, smart cupboards in the background if you angle the camera away from the boxes of crap my DH hoards. When we went into lockdown you couldn't get in the room, he made space and got set up. We don't have loads of books, I have a shelf of cookery books and about half a book shelf of other books. We all read loads but gave away all the books that we wouldn't need again and now do it all on a kindle.
I bought a cheap table and set up in the master bedroom and our 2 student DC returned home and used the desks that were already in their rooms.
Now it is only me left full time WFH and I have moved to the dining room, as we only eat in their is we are all at home or entertaining (so not happening). Still no books behind me. DH keeps the home office for days when he is at home.

I think it’s rude. I blur mine

Sorry but you sound terribly snoopy and frankly quite stuck up.

Who are you to judge anyone's backdrop?!

Gonna get me some giant cardboard cut outs of celebrities to stand around behind me in Zoom meetings, then DS can stoop low and move them around a bit whenever it gets boring.
Poker face all the way, mind.

We all comment on colleagues homes openly

One had a very interesting small library

I love looking at people's homes! I have my been to a gallery or museum for the last 12 months, instagram has started to repeat stuff and I've finished Netflix, I'm going to seek every last bit of unexpecy visual stimulus.

Don't be embarrassed anyone, DH is fairly senior and we gave a lovely comfort home. He's seen colleagues working from small children's bedrooms, people sat on beds in house shares, its given him a massive reality check on how others are coping whilst working from home. We've done the student house share a long time ago, he is a lot more impressed with some of his colleagues who are just getting on with it, with a mass of lego & bunk beds in the background.

We have a lovely library, DD was sat up there doing a jigsaw this afternoon (completely misses point of thread)

So OP, English is my first language but spell check has other ideas....

i think op is just having a moment of realisation.of how people really live or how unaware professionals are of how they come accross!

i will say it again...op did say they al have English as a second language, which might explain the libary phrase.

I personally have a wall of dildos as my background and am considering hiring a goat to attend my next meeting

@TheFaithfulBorderBinliner

So OP, English is my first language but spell check has other ideas....

me too oops sorry

@Thebestposter

I think it’s rude. I blur mine

thats an interesting pov. i would if i was doing a client call to a member of the public, not nec for informal meetings with colleagues imo

@Seychelles98 and @NotAnotherUserNumber

What I meant was more home office or dedicated space (neat and at least pretend to be ready for work even on Zoom/Teams) not necessarily books on display.

I judge unprepared or appearing "ambushed" colleagues during meetings. We all have children, cleaning, etc, but at least pretend to be ready for work.

On the décor, I was more taken aback by one colleague, who had a light pink paint - it looked frilly/fluffy. These were all said between two close friends, I would not have nor even ask people about their preferences - even if I silently judge.

Am so glad my colleagues can’t see my house. Technically it’s temp accommodation so the wallpaper in the livingroom is horrific. I thought they were grapes but it seems they are turquoise plant things?! Not sure but ugly and old and my couch (councils) is green the carpet is green it’s just ugly. I guess people would judge. But at the end of the day I’m not other people’s choice in wallpaper hopefully one day I can choose my own

I do actually have a 'home library' inasmuch as we have a room lined with floor to ceiling book shelves that I read in. I've never called it that though - it's just the front room. We also have a separate home office. However DH does all his WFM from the dining room because it's so much warmer in there. I hope no one is judging him!

It seems ridiculous to judge people because they don't have a dedicated home office. Until this time last year most people with desk jobs had no need of that because they worked in actual offices 5 days a week. Why would they have spent money on buying or renting a property with a dedicated office space they would never need?

The people I feel sorry for are the many, many young people living in flat or house shares who have to work and sleep in one small room. A lot of DS's colleagues are in this position. They come to London on secondment to experience life in the big city and advance their careers. They've ended up confined to tiny bedsits or flat shares, unable to experience the culture they came here for, never meeting their colleagues IRL and unable to travel back to their home cities or countries. I would be very sad to think that they were also be judged by supercilious colleagues for their living situations.

Christ. Really? Its never occurred to you that a household might have 2 or more working members and simply just have the one home office?

I'd judge someone who is so in thrall to their employer that they actually think providing them, free of charge, with specially dedicated workspaces is a thing.

Not likely to be very entrepreneurIal or think outside the box, are you OP?

[quote IknowIch]@SmileyClare actually, I have a home office and library and we use them.

I am not normally judgy, but was taken aback about opinions I formed on such trivial things.[/quote]
Why the hell should someone have a home office if they're working from home under duress?

@Thebestposter

I think it’s rude. I blur mine

Do you mean it’s rude not to blur your own, or rude to judge other people’s?

slightly off the point but i always think its really funny when people arent 'ready' - especially when they are senior!
kids excepted though, home ed is a nightmare.

i love seeing scientists' backdrops on the news! some over -curated, some obviously so clever they just dont care!

Devil's advocate-thinking outside the box! Space to wok quietly may improve your chances of being able continuing to wfh, if you would like to.

[quote nongnangning]@brownteddybear. What is on YOUR backdrop? Can you advise what our backdrops should be wearing so as not to look last year?![/quote]
Well as my post clearly went above your head (clue: no one worth bothering about cares what your background is), i'll look into my crystal ball for you...

Yes ... I can see it now... no more naff bookshelves of carefully positioned titles.. this year it has to be a music stand ...perhaps open at a particular difficult piece, Beethoven's second symphony for violin. There you go...sorted

@Confusedandshaken totally agree.

i think op was talking about senior roles. does that make a difference though...

i have felt quite sorry for some senior managers whose rooms look really unloved and tatty, hooefully not snooping just when they say how uncomfortable or cold they are etc. its like they just live for their jobs and work all the hours possible.

but maybe that's their choice or there's a whole lot of things going on that's none of my businness

This proper made me chortle.

I’ve plenty of books, you’re not going to see them on a zoom call. I also move round the house. Sometimes I’m in my home office, sometimes I sit in one of the living rooms. Depends on how I’m feeling.

I don’t have any pink rooms but pink is very trendy now.

I don’t judge because you get to see only a tiny snapshot of someone’s home. It’s a little silly and immature to be sitting making sniffy comments about the little you can see of someone’s home.